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1οΌ Please forgive my English, it is my second language:)
2, we dated 1 year and he broke up with me because he said he was unhappy.we always fight and I always angry because of stupid things.(I know I was wrong and realized it now)3, i didnt like he go to drink with his friends because I don’t like his friends then he never bring me to any activity, he thought I will be angry with him and then I got more angry and always fight with him if he doesn’t reply my message when he was with his friends..he listened to me at the beginning but then he just say you can’t control me. we almost fight every week at last 3 months:(..(I know I know)
4.I was too immature that said 1000times broke up with him then he would Step back to save me,even beg me.he said he loved me too much.
5. but this time he said I was too clingy and immature he would broke up with me.we had a radio call and he said he still love me and kiss me on the camera, and told me he will call me tomorrow morning, I waited until 10 o’clock then I called him, he said he has to go to concert with friends , I got angry again, he said we are not together he does not have to do what he said, I yelled at him this time but this time I ried to give him space..but only 3days !then I called him he didn’t answer, I called him almost 50times as before ,he finally called me back and told me he was happy in these 3 days and nobody didnt disturb him when he was with his friends, he went back his normal life. he does not love me (after 3days ?).
6.then I go to his apartment to beg him but he said “it’s not good time to get back together. you are beautiful you can find another boyfriend after 1 month.”then I tried to hug him he just struggle get out of me:(
7.I apologized to him about all my immature and shouldn’t annoy him like crazy.,.he said it again”it’s not good time to get back together, you are beautiful you can find a boyfriend in one month” was he being polite to me?
8.I checked his media everyday and he noticed that I was doing it for week,after I found this website I know I should do NC, today is the 2 weeks of NC. he didn’t tried to contact me..
9. I know I pushed him away and I always act crazy when I was angry such as he went to shopping when I was sick, he always told my words to his friends, he does not want to travel with me but wanted with his friends, hide me from his parents,always lie to me, cancel the date…those drive me crazy…and he said we don’t have any common Interests which is not true ,he was just finding an excuse, we all like to go to Theater and stay home watch t v show, the only thing i can’t do with him is go to bar…because I can’t drink too much and he always hang out until 2 am~4am on Friday,because of my job, I have to get up early at next day, so I have to go home before 12 am, I don’t have a car, he can’t send me home,..so that’s probably “the common Interest”
finally i realized i was a horrible person but what he said to me is “too late, I already don’t love u anymore”
I know my hope is …I really want to go back to slap myself for my immature
sounds like you have a lot to work on with yourself. sounds like you have a anger issue as well. work on this and all other issues you may have and make your self a very happy person. focus on you and dont worry about if he contacts you or not because if he doesnt then you’ll be contacting him later on. good luck and keep us posted. π do no contact for 45 days and go from there.
thanks for your reply I really appreciate !!
yes I realized I have a lot of work to do…
firstly is my anger issues…
I always call him to go home when he stay out late …that really annoy him..
but I searched all the posts in this website, I probably prepare to lose him forever…Hey Vanessa,
So you have already done 2 weeks of NC?
Have you improved during that time? (Are you still as clingy as you were when you started NC? Are you still as controlling as you were when you dated?The problems I see are the following:
From what I read you have never been in a real relationship with him but dated for a year? This means that he might not be as emotionally attached as if you’ve had a lengthy relationship based on trust and intimacy.
The reason it’s over is not because you acted needy now, but because you have pushed and pulled him around during former times. This might at first have caused him to beg you to stay together. However, everyone has his breaking point. He probably just couldn’t take it anymore and decided to leave. Why? To protect himself.What to do:
Continue NC.
Analyse your behaviour and how it lead to the break-up. (What would you need to do differently this time to make it work?)
Improve yourself.
Wait. And hope.hey Ben! thanks for your reply I really appreciate!you and ammal’s idea opened my eyes!!
hmmm…I have improved a lot coz I read all posts in this website and read “non violence convocation “book recently, I can control myself when I wanted to control him π
I won’t often say break up…if he want to get back with me π
you are right I didnt trust him coz I thought he was you serious and he told me he is serious but as he didn’t show me intimacy so I didnt trust him…
besides,I always try to control him when he didn’t contact me…such as I control him to say good morning to me, call me when he work off, chat with me after dinner..was it horrible π
I realized he was not happy I asked him why he still with me, he said cuz you are beautiful(I got angry again)
so I broke his “breaking point”…can I have a big chance still ? π π πi think you still have a chance. just do no contact and be the person he wants to be with
thanks bramble.. π
1,the thing make me feel lose hope is …he didnt allow me to stay at his apartment after I arrived there from another city..
and i deleted all of his media account…2,I always called him 10 times if he does not answer my call..and annoy him so that he finally totally ignored my call.. but before this I was the one who always angry and ignore his call, he was the one who chased me,but and every time I walked away he just let me do it won’t chase me, I know I make him tired of me..
3. I always act immature so he told me maybe we don’t have future.
4. he still dated me coz I looked after him like his mom, always bought him gift or brought him breakfast or dinner,he said I was the best unique girl and nobody can do those to him.. but i know it won’t make any spark…
5. I really don’t understand boy, will he miss me even I was so horrible? π
one more, he told me “I don’t know know what to do, so I asked god, god ‘tell’me to break up with u” π
was he being too serious?i honestly dont know what to think of that. ive never had an experience like that but ive had odd coincidences that i could understand why they thought ‘god’ or what not was contacting them. who knows.
its hard to deal with that since its not exactly a rational decision.
I think he still wants you, but you need to be mature.I dont think you should look after him like a mum. unless hed do the same thing for you? or makes up for it in some other way?
thanks bramble… π
no he never treat me same way…
I know I should grow up πbut he need to give me time…and we ‘ve talked, he keep telling me “I don’t feel the same way, I don’t like you romantically, I don’t love u any more, it’s not good time to get together.”
just can’t believe all happens, I will focus myself and improve myself but might be too late π
wow you really need to do no contact. my husband said the samething to me when he left me. those are some hurtful words. you both need time and space away from eachother. how long have you been no contact for now?
hey aamls, sounds like GUYS are same π
almost finish 3weeks no contact…and nothing really happens…maybe treat them too nice make them feel uncomfortable ??I guess they are similar. :-/ you maybe right,but if thats the case I wonder why. this really sucks. could you read my:-) posting and tell me what you think? thanks
3 weeks almost over nice! Keep going!
Its good that you have found your problems and you know what you can do better! That’s really good!
Over time he will begin to miss you, if not over time little things may bring up memories and given enough time it will always be happy ones. The negative ones will begin to fade away.
Stay strong! You are doing well!
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