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Honestly Paul you have to take a step back and figure out what you want.
If you think ignoring her is the best, then it seems like you don’t want her back in the first place. Ignoring her will do no good.
If, on the other hand, you want her back you need to tell her that you don’t want to be friends and only to contact you if she changes her mind.
A girl who likes you, whether an ex or not, will put herself in your orbit and will expect you to make the moves. If you ignore her, she’ll give up and move on completely.
It’s your call.
If all of this advice is based on women and how they react to things or what they expect, then how does this apply to men or become translatable when trying to get one of them back?
As much as people would like you to think, men and women are very, very different.
Women on one hand are emotionally driven, whereas men tend to be rather straightforward and “logical”. This, of course, is when it comes to love and romantic relationships.
That being said, it’s hard to know how your ex boyfriend feels about you and your break up. I’ve never broken up with a girlfriend, I’ve always been on the receiving end.
What I’d suggest though is that you take it the same was as I do. Let them know you can’t be friends, that they should only contact you if they’ve changed their mind and then go No Contact indefinitively. If they put themselves in your orbit (i.e contact you), you assume they want to see you and ask them out.
I don’t know how long you’ve been broken up, who broke up with whom and if there’s been any contact since?
Making the world’s longest story short, we’ve been broken up nine weeks. He ended it after I essentially called him out on some minor emotional manipulation and not following through on something he’d insisted on doing. Since then, there’s been lots of contact. Most not initiated by me. He’s run errands for me, taking care of me, insisted on driving me places because I don’t have a car, cooked for me, had me over, seen me (i.e. essentially been on a date) in public, helped me find our missing cat, texted me nonstop, etc. Lots of good signs. At the current moment, I’m on day nine of NC. I only chose to initiate it after I had an old male friend who I hadn’t seen in years stopped to visit for a couple days while on a long road trip. I technically have no official confirmation as he won’t own up to it, but I’m fairly sure my ex was really hurt and threatened by this situation, and essentially lied to me to make me jealous and hurt like he did. He said he was going on a date, even though that’s literally not really possible in his circumstances. He then followed it up with a bunch of texts apologizing and trying to get a reaction out of me, to which I haven’t replied. Nothing has been said since and I’ve only seen him once, as we work together. He seemed very thrown and confused by my confidence and happiness, talked some but minimally, and spent half his time ignoring me while the rest was flat out spent keeping an eye on me and following me around a bit. That’s really where we’re at. I want him back but feel I have to take his words at face value, even if I know they’re bogus.
SolidTurd, what about the False Friendship from Relationship Rewind?
Isn’t that something that should be tested out?
@Paulsmith … There are some good tips in Relationship Rewind, I’ll admit that, but the “False Friendship” definitely isn’t one of them.
Even if it’s “false” it’s still putting you in a very compromising position which could blow up at any moment. Plus it goes totally against what YOU want.
When a girl/woman breaks up with you asking to be friends, you say NO – that’s the bottom line, the most basic thing.
You need to stay congruent, you need to make sure that any time a girl says “can we please be friends?” you stay true to your word.
That’s why this “false friendship” thing will get you no where.
To me it seems like he’s someone who doesn’t like being on their own. He wants the cake and want to eat it too. Ultimately he’s being very selfish.
I like to think that one’s true personality comes out following a break up: your ex is manipulative and lonely.
I think what you should do next time he contacts you is flat out tell him that you don’t like the fact that he’s texting you and calling you non-stop, that it’s giving you a false sense of hope … that if what he’s doing means nothing and he doesn’t want you back, then ask him to stop it all and move on.
I think he needs a reality check.
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