Boards Reconciliation My ex is depressed , loves me but can't make her mind up !

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  • #8854
    jake
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    • Total Posts: 3

    My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago , the next day she said she still loved me but she couldn’t make her mind up . Basically she strung me along for about 2 months .

    During this time she did feel really depressed , hardly going out and not really talking to friends and family .So its not like she was going out partying , trying to find my replacement … 

    I really love her and want her back but it feels like she isn’t the person i fell in love with anymore.She used to be caring , sweet and funny now its just so draining to talk to her . I know she’s struggling but i’m in love and i’ve been put on hold , its really frustating to not know how she feels about us .

    After about 2 months i had enough and i applied no contact , i just couldnt go on any longer , and saturday (one week after NC ) she contacted me :i love you . Its so hard not talking to you . Hope you’re having a nice weekend . I replied and we talked a bit .

    The Next day she messaged: boo , what are you doing . I replied with some light banter . But after a while she got more distant and out of the blue went to sleep and seemed sort of down .

    What to do ? I dont wanna be strung along again but i dont know what to do . Should i play it cool and not initiate contact until she does ? Should i ask her to meet up ? Or should i be clear and say hey nothing changed , i’m giving you space again? 

    #8868
    15briannare
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 8

    I am sort of in the same situation. Actually I’ve been on both sides of this with the same guy. In the beginning of my own relationship, I was extremely depressed and anxious. I did self harm and made my (ex)boyfriend go through hell and back. He didn’t mind back then since he was so in love with me at the time. Once I became more emotionally stable, He told me he resented me for it.

    Do you resent her at all for making you feel like you’re been strung along?

    Now, my (ex)boyfriend and I are no longer together. Like your girlfriend, my ex was no longer the same person. We’d have constant arguments over the most stupid shit. It got to the point where we went on a three week on and off break. Finally, he came to the conclusion that he didn’t want to be with me. It shattered me. But I’ve done all I possibly could to give him support and make him feel better. But in his eyes, I’ve only caused him pain because of my past mistakes and his own depression combined. I suggest that you give her time. Give her space to figure herself out and continue with the NC. And whatever you do, don’t openly complain about the way she has been acting. It can easily turn around on you and make you seem like the bad guy. But yes, like I said, just give her time and space. If things are meant to be, then they will turn around for the better.

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