My Boyfriend and I Have Been Together for 3 Years But He's Leaving Me For His Ex

@aamls Hey hunn, thanks so much for replying! Your words touched my heart 🙂

I haven’t started NC like officially but I’ll be starting NC tomorrow since I’m thinking of sending him a text today and telling him properly what I feel before starting NC tomorrow. He has left our hometown yesterday and today he’s starting his first day at his university. He hasn’t picked up any of my calls nor did he replied to any of my texts so I’m thinking of texting him for one last time today before I start NC tomorrow. I really need ideas on what I should tell him in the text before I start the NC. I feel so nervous all of sudden. If you have any ideas what I should say to him before I start NC tomorrow, let me know!

About the break up, like I mentioned in the title, basically he’s leaving me after our 3 year relationship for his ex which is my old bestie from high school who is Erica. After me and him got together on 2011, me and Erica were never the same, we weren’t enemies, just acquaintances. Look, I know that he and Erica is probably still not a couple and they probably haven’t even talked to each other but man, it bugs me so much to even think about it. Plus, the university he is currently studying at now is close to the place where Erica studies at.

He asked for a breakup when we were almost at our 3rd anniversary and blocked my number, practically blocked me on everything to get in contact with him and I must admit I was pretty pissed off and upset but dumbfounded. He never blocked me before no matter how bad we were fighting about something. So then he eventually unblocked me after almost a week and said that he needed time alone and to see where his heart wanders off, and he said it went to me, so like he’s saying he needs confirmation that he still has feelings for me and all that.

So, of course I was pretty relieved at first. Then again, he suddenly was like saying don’t believe him and all that. At that point, I was so sick of all these games he was playing, I just broke down. I feel so dead inside.

He was like saying,
I love Erica. I can’t deny it anymore. I can’t get over her. I think she’s the one. I can’t be with you anymore and a lot more of that stuff. He even said he likes me but doesn’t love me. Oh wow, it feels like a slap in the face.

I was so upset and angry and just breaking apart that I cried so hard I feel like I was going blind. Because throughout our relationship, I gave him more than one chance to think about choosing between me and Erica. I really did because I didn’t want to get hurt and I don’t want it to be a one-way love. But still, he choose me all the time over her when I gave him all those chances.

And now, this is what he’s saying? I mean seriously, after all I’ve done for him? After all this time? After all we’ve been through? Wth is this?

I just don’t understand why he’s doing this. Now he’s like trying to push me away but I haven’t really let go or given up. I do call him and text him a few times. Sometimes he replies, sometimes he don’t. So like it’s not the best kind of conversation.

We broke up right after our 3rd anniversary, and that was actually my request since he actually wanted to break up a week before that but since I wanted to celebrate our 3rd anniversary, so he accepted my request and just hold on for a while.

So after that, we still kept contact with each other. One thing that really disturbs me is that a few days after the break up he said he loves me so much and that his heart has both me and Erica and he’s just gonna choose between us. Then, the next day he’ll say don’t trust him and he loves only Erica and he’s going after Erica and that he doesn’t hold responsibility if I believe him. He keeps on changing his words and it’s very disturbing to me.

He did say he cares about me and loves me. But I’m not really sure of that because of his attitude. He even texted me saying he extremely regret that like we talked on the phone yesterday and stuff when before that he was the one who was okay with it. He even sent me a screenshot of his phone’s wallpaper which is a photo of Erica and said he needed to clean up his mess for her.

Before that, he even like wanted to leave me because he was like saying he wanted to become a better man and all that. I think he just wants to be a better man for Erica though.

But really, is doing this to a woman like me really makes you a better man? That’s messed up.

Anyway, starting from recently like on last Thursday he screamed at me on the phone and hung up. He even texted me saying me I’m so pushy, a dictator etc. I think it was because I was all needy and all at the first place. But then I said I just wanna talk with him in peace and just be in good terms with him and hope he forgives my mistakes. He did say he forgive me for everything and he hopes I forgive him for everything too. I didn’t say I forgive him but I did say that I’m glad we’re in good terms and all and told him to take care. Since then, he haven’t picked up my calls nor did he replied to my texts. But, he hasn’t blocked my number from calling him.

Today is the 14th day since we break up. I have college trial exams tomorrow and the day after tomorrow. I seriously am trying my best to pull myself together but it’s still so hard. I appreciate your support so much, thank you again x

What do you think about all this? Would love to hear your thoughts and advice, thanks hunn 🙂