December 13, 2014 at 8:27 am #18728
I loved my bf very much. it was my 2nd relationship. i was very honest to him.but made many mistakes as i couldnot think what might be the outcomes.i dont know may be i was a real stupid.but i made d mistake of contacting my ex as he was trying to get me back. but i made it clear to him that i loved my 2nd bf more than my life.but it happened so that i cried a lot infront of him.this was not liked by my bf and he left me telling me that he had got back his ex gf back to relation so told me to avoid him.so i got more desperate and broken and committed a series of mistakes again.i tried to take revenge on him with the help of a boy.but seriously i had no idea what mistakes i was committing.i tried hard then to get him back but he ignored me all the time.even i was told by him that he loved someone else.so out of frustration i too decided that if he could move forward why not me.so i took a bf.but just to show him that i too can.have new relations. but actually he took none but was waiting for me to realise my mistakes.so i started not talking to him & fakely got busy with my new bf. but i was not interested on my new relation & every year on my former bf’s birthday or any ocassion i wished him n tried to get him back.but he made the situations worse by scolding me calling bad names.so i avoid him again.after 3yrs recently i got confirmed that he took some1.so i too decided to get engaged with my new bf.this was my greatest mistake.i got engaged but couldnt love him as i was stuck to my ex.so i broke up with my new bf and tried again to get him back.but yesterday we had a long conversation and pinpointed all my mistakes which i admit were true. and he said that there’s no chance of getting him back although he still loves me. now m.broken. i cant live without him.we broke up in 2009 still m not able to get over him even after all these things i have done. what to do just suggest me.or i might end up committing suicide.December 18, 2014 at 12:19 am #19648
I think if it’s been that long, you should seek therapy. especially if you feel like this could lead to you harming yourself.
sometimes in breakups, we are made to feel like it’s our fault. Sometimes, we feel so badly about the prospect of it being our fault, that we experience a great amount of guilt. And because of that guilt, we try extremely hard to get our exes back and fix or mistakes.
It is a human thing to want to do. no one wants to be the reason. You say that he has scolded you. He has pointed out your mistakes. but has he pointed out his? Have you realized his mistakes? Have you tried to set aside your feelings of love and really evaluated the quality of the relationship? Love is a very strong addiction/feeling. It’s not easily thrown away, but if this was back in 2009 and it’s still as strong as it was, and you’re considering hurting yourself, you need to seek professional help that can work through this with you.
Your desperation and your wavering stability concerning your lost love can’t lead to a happy future. You have to become a stronger person. Do that by seeking help, and really discovering your worth. There is someone out there looking for good qualities that you possess. You are holding yourself back from true happiness.
I can write a novel, but at the end of the day all of us are responsible for our own happiness and progression.
I wish you the best of luck.December 18, 2014 at 12:22 am #19649
You need to cut contact with your ex. Completely. Remove everything you have that reminds you of him. Stay away from his social networking accounts. Don’t even look at pictures or old letters/cards.
the slightest thing can re-trigger those emotions. You need to cut all sources off.December 18, 2014 at 1:31 am #19656NyanCatParticipant
- Total Posts: 20
I concur with what LABound said said here.
Also, you really need to go see someone about those feelings of yours. It’s hard, I know, but you need to really step back and ask yourself a lot of questions.
Do some soul searching. Meditation, that kind of things.
All the while, you can do something that will make you happy… Maybe except sit on a couch and eat potato chips all day (but that’s ok too, but only once in a while.).December 19, 2014 at 10:56 am #19932
thanks for your advices… may be its time that i let it go and see what happens next without expecting anything from this broken thread… it might take some more time. but i know i can overcome this..December 19, 2014 at 11:25 pm #20056
That’s the spirit. Good luck to you!December 20, 2014 at 4:48 pm #20147BelleParticipant
- Total Posts: 397
I’ve been totally addicted to an ex maybe 10 yrs ago now. It took years to get over him. The mistake is that you need to understand that you’re wasting happiness on chasing him. I made the mistake too, the guy I couldn’t let go of really was not that attractive, interesting or really my type. I let my feelings hang on to him though and I let thoes feelings get in the way of finding someone else.
I now find myself alone again and in love, I can only give it so much time for a reconciliation before I have to work hard on letting go. It won’t be easy but it can be done.
If I’m not supposed to be with my ex who I love I will give myself a year or so before I need to look for someone else. I can’t hang on in there for years and waste time and happiness on someone who doesn’t want to be with me, no matter how good things where when we were together. It’s heartbreaking but it’s part of life and you never know who is round the corner and a whole new set of memories to be made.December 22, 2014 at 8:11 am #20448
thanks #Labound & #Belle. I’ll try hard not wasting much time. but a problem have arisen. Even if i m not contacting him. he has satrted texting & calling me back. though he has not said anything about getting or that kind of stuffs, but he’s getting friendly. what shall i do now? avoiding him seems to be impossible & rude. i hav got no idea. 🙁December 22, 2014 at 8:54 am #20455
Do not contact him. At all. It’s not rude. He ditched you and make it seem like it was your fault. The best thing you can do is disappear from hisnlife completely and forever. He isn’t going to be with you, and you only put yourself through pain.
Dont contact him. Change your number.December 23, 2014 at 12:08 pm #20646
hav decided to change my number.. but when i see his name flashing on my cell or a text by him i get restless and depressed as well… am getting helpless.at some point i feel as if i can forget him d other moment i feel i ‘ll die witout him… really do i need some psychological treatment or is this normal?January 9, 2015 at 1:48 am #23461AphroditeParticipant
- Total Posts: 323
Yes, I definitely think you should go to therapy for this.
I believe the reason you have had such a hard time letting go is because you two have stayed in touch. Every time he contacts you a bit of hope flares up inside you, and this only makes the pain continue. There is a life for you without him. You need to not be in contact and mourn him properly. Google “Brad Yates” on YouTube, he’s got some great videos. Especially the one called ‘releasing emotional pain’. Copy what he does. I find this very helpful.
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