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Thargus, it seems like she really wants to see you and spend time with you. You just don’t know what’s going on through her mind because in one way it seems like she doesn’t want to lose you and in the other she doesn’t feel she can commit to you.
It’s up to you whether you reach out and continue seeing her but if I were you I’d reply saying maybe with some excuse and work out if you can spend the time with her she wants.
Dude.. I’d go. Honestly. And btw I checked my email @hensey. Nothing. Anywhere
Hi everyone, I know I’m new here but I really want to join the conversation. I have spent time reading all your stories. Anyway, I’m not good at giving advice because I’m just like an amateur in such thing đ but I will follow and try to help you guys out if I can!! I also have my story which need your help too. I know we’re all in the same situation and I am happy that I can find somebody to talk to… so I hope I can do it with you guys here đ
If you have time, please help me out with my story đ
Background: I was away for 2 weeks. During that time, I was very cold to him (itâs my fault I have to admit). I did not text him regularly and we did not communicate much. He did text me that he missed me during that time. Everything was fine. But after I came back I misunderstood something and I was mad. At first, he was trying hard to apologize. But I was kinda losing my mind and texted him to break up. He replied me back a very long message saying how much he loves me, but he still agreed to break up. After a day thinking, I was quite regret and I call to see him and talk. I told him that I do not want to mess thing up because just a small problem like that. However, he told me that he now wants a single time for himself, although he loves me, he just does not want to be in a rlts. It hurted me a lot, but I still acted calm and said Itâs okay if thatâs what he wants. He then even cried and hugged and kissed me. It took us a few hours to actually say goodbye to each other. The next day he texted me to talk about random things like normally but my best friend (who is also his best friend)got angry and she told him to stop it in an angry voice. I just know about that later. My ex also told me heâs sorry for contacting me, and he wants to meet for the last time to return things. I agreed. But then he did not showed up without saying anything.
After 1.5 months no contact, I called him to return things. We talked in a friendly way. When I saw him, I made a mistake to ask him if he still love me. He told me he would think about it and answer me. But he just keeps silent. I thought about our rlts a lot. But I still don’t know what the exact reason he wanted to break up. I thought he was hurt by my decision to break up (because he said he would never think I say it) and he accept it. After the break up, he still try to talk to me like normally and say he miss me in his private twitter account ( he doesn’t know that I know about it). But after that time of NC, I felt like he totally got rid of me and he is fine without me.
So after a week, I texted him to forget about that and just be friend. My ex doesnât ignore me but he just answer what I ask him (in a friendly way), he doesnât try to keep the conversation going. I am always the person who initiate the conversation (texting, 3 times). I acted normally and I didn’t mention about the rlts, just ask some normal questions. I donât know if itâs true that when I text him I feel he is not happy because I had ignored him before because he mentioned my deleting his Insta acc and he said he was surprised that I even contact him again. When I text him, his way of reply is very weird, although still friendly. When we hang out with mutual friends together, he ignored me completely. So I decided to go on NC with him again.
And I also found out that he’s currently texting a girl. I think he has a thing with her, but it’s kind of weird because this girl is absolutely not his style. I will even feel it’s kinda irony if he date her. But anything can happen. I am sad because how can he move on that quickly? I know he really loved me when we were together, and I can’t believe now he likes another girl, who I don’t even want to be jealous with because she’s so different.
Actually I don’t care about them to much. I just want to hear some advice about: How long should I do NC?? Should I call him to return things now or wait for a longer time (because I don’t need it at the moment).. or wait until he make the first move?? My mind is really tired now.. I am also still confused about the reason he wanted to break up? Is that he really want his space, or he just angry because I insisted on breaking up and he felt that I don’t love him anymore? (He was unhappy because when I was away I didn’t text him much).
I know I have to focus on myself and I am doing that, but can’t help thinking about him a lot! I just want to talk to somebody about it so I know I’m doing things right.
@Robertizle I copied it here. There’s a problem with the email. So thanks for help!!Ok so, you basically were the ex that broke his heart and then regret it.. from what I am reading. And now after he gave you the cold shoulder.. the one that you made him feel during that time you didn’t even pay attention to him while you were away.. you realized you made a big mistake. You are basically the ex that we all have been crushed by.. I guess being cold does make you guys come back. The only thing you can do honey is live your life. And NC. Because he is in what we call (rebound stage) sucks but… since you Hurt him.. he is trying to not really pay attention to you and it’s working.. and on top of that .. living his life and in a way trying to turn the page. We all make mistakes but this mistakes come with a price.. sometimes it’s the biggest price to pay.. give it time. And if you are ok with him sleeping around and still want him back I suggest you just distract yourself in every way possible. . Live your life well and wait for his call a month from now. Yes you can contact him.. but only after a month where you rebuilt yourself and learned that you don’t need him either. Reality hurts.. I know. But if he is the one, it will happen. Do not contact him no matter what. Best of luck to you!
I’m not okay with he’s sleeping around. But I know he’s not sleeping with her. It’s not that easy for him to sleep with someone he isn’t really serious with. But he may likes her, although our friends said that this could never gonna happen.
NC is what I’m intend to do now. It’s 17 days and I think I’m doing good with my life. It’s just deep down, I still think about him and miss him. I feel a little bit scare that the silent time will make him forget me, like before. I know that’s he still miss me after we broke up, so I can’t imagine he can act that cold when I contact him đLike amy111 told me once.. it’s normal to have that fear of them moving on, they wont. Not if you guys have had a long and meaningful relationship. The fact you don’t talk to him for this time will make it harder for him.. not having you there suffering.. will show them and make them think YOU moved on. And maybe he isn’t sleeping around.. that’s good but you should think positive and not even think about it. If he acts cold. Use that against him like judo.. his own force to make him slip and fall.. once you talk to him you need to be a different you.. version 2.0.. be happy. If he is cold.. you treat him like an acquaintance.. be nice but not too nice. And over mature about things. If he is a dick.. you be nice. He is gonna be like.. why is she being so chill about me being a dick? Then you will make him insecure.. he will think both consciously and sub.. did she really move on?! A while back she was crying over me!! And then.. you have him in the palm of your hands. At least, that’s how most people react. But let time heal all and focus on yourself my love! THINK positive and kick ass!
so i just got back from the cinema. heres how it went..
i met her at work and then we just head straight to the film. the film was awesome, we had such a laugh. on the car journey home we just spoke random babble. nothing really happened. she mentioned a guy’s name 3 times on the journey home, a guy she works with now. but shes leaving the job pretty soon as she finally got a job as a teaching assistant at a school. so im not.. TOO worried about this guy.. but the thing is, every time she mentioned his name, my heart just beat out of my chest and i felt hot all of a sudden. its jealousy. i didn’t show it.. but still. it flipping annoyed me. she was telling me he seems like a really open and talked about his brothers death and things, and also that some guy was demanding change from my ex at the till, and he was speaking awful to her. so she went out the back to get the manager and when they came back this guy she spoke of was telling the customer you dont speak to girls like that.
im probably being a moron worrying about that.. but christ.
im going boxing with her tomorrow and tuesday.
what the hell am i doing. i dont know what to do at this stage.. is it even worth it..? its been since january 30th she broke up with me. thats a little over 4 months.
should i just text her and say, look. i need to talk to you. or what?
i feel SO crappy.maybe i am overthinking that way too much.. but still. i cant beleive it outraged me like that just becuase she mentioned some guys name..
We’re all guilty of overthinking and most of the time that leads you to make irrational decisions. Only rarely does it all make sense.
Are you not going to continue doing No contact/limited contact then? Because it seems like when you did she wanted you more… I’m not saying ignore her but don’t go back to seeing her/contacting her daily. Leave her wanting more.
i think i should. im going to go boxing with her tomorrow and then leave it at that.
Probably best I think, be there for her but don’t make yourself too available. At least things are improving between you two and it genuinely seems like she wants you in her life which is a huge positive. Just make sure there’s not too much pressure on either of you and hopefully it will continue to improve.
@Robertizle yay thank you, I’m gonna do exactly what you told me. How are you doing with your NC?No problem! I’m here for you all! And im.. well in pain every now and then but hanging in there.. only one more week of NC then I contact her.. but she hasn’t even contacted me at all. So it sucks. I only see her sometimes at the gym and stuff and we have only had like a 1 minute conversation lol. I don’t think she really cares anymore and it’s crazy cause we had a great relationship and now fight at the end just an agreement and me trying to get her back.. that’s when I started my nc. Let’s see!
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