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Amy111 thank you so much, and I hope she doesnt.. it just sucks she completely erased me in a way. So after 30 days.. you think I can wrote her that letter or hold off longer?
My email is [email protected], if you’re free at all. If that won’t be any faster or is an annoyance, no need to bother 🙂
Well done @Thargus.. we’re all proud of you.. you did the right thing.. Amy could you advise me as well please?
so i took her sister to the doctor who thing on monday evening instead.
she text me telling she hopes i have a nice time with a smiley face to which i did not reply. she then text after she finished work telling me “how was it? not too good i hope? lol” all i replied was “you would have loved it”
she text me telling me what time she got back home for some reason also?
from the sounds of her texts she felt extremely bad and just in general a little surprised i was so blunt and straight with her before. so i think its left an impact which is good. she likes mugs, so i bought a mug from the doctor who show for her sister to give to my ex with personal intentions knowing it would make her feel worse. that sounds horrible but it makes her realize even more what she missed out on. which seemed to have worked also.as far as that bus pass convo went.. well here it is. and ill let you guys decide as to what her replies and reaction was like.
i did not text her saying i had printed it. i waited for her to ask me purely because i dont want her to think ill do it off my own back for her. she has to ask me.
so this is how it went..Her: “I’ve left for work. could you drop the boarding pass at my house please 🙂 ..or you could come visit me at work lol :D”
(i didnt reply at first becuase i wasnt sure how to react to that text let alone what to reply.)
Her: ” You busy or are you not texting me back now? Lol :D” (she sent that 20 minutes after the last one.)
Me: you are a silly person. Lol your phone is probably in your locker now so ill make a surprise visit.” (here i realised i made a mistake which i posted about before)
so i said this Me:”i cant, mum has rang me i need to go. ive popped it in your letterbox for you. sorry.”
her: no worries. thanks for dropping it off. you’ll have to come visit me next week lol”
her: “whats wrong? ” ( she asked this becuase i said i had a phone call and had to go home)
me:” i just have to look after nan while mum and dad have gone out thats all. sorry left my phone in my gym bag lol. just made her a cheese and onion quiche”
her:”lovely”
me:” hows work? on break or?”
her”:na just hid my phone under the till. honestly i wished you’d come in. if only to give me someone to serve lol”
me:”such a rebel lol Awww. is it really that quiet? not working late i hope lol”
her” till close”
i didn’t reply at this point because i didn’t want the conversation to go on any more.
so i said no more. i feel as though i have left an impact as she has never text me like this before. so many smiley faces etc, she must feel bad..she has gone away from yesterday and today to the harry potter studios with 2 of her girlfriends for a birthday. so i resisted the urge all day to tell her to have a nice time, but instead i did the next best thing. i messaged her friend and told her/them to have a nice time instead since it was her birthday. she replied saying thanks etc.
i havent messeged my ex since and that was a day and a half ago. i think im doing the right thing.. i hope.
Ok awesome, so you do see that she obviously still is interested I n some way. But try not to use her best friends and tell them to have a good time because everything goes to her in the end and she will take that as a contact in a way.. if you talk to her friends try to be a bit different in the approach. Really just talk to the friend and don’t even mention your ex or imply that you wish all of them (your ex included) a good time. It’s good to have her friends on your side just be careful. I miss amy.. we need her back in this board. Lol. So thargus.. let her come to you now. You are getting closer and closer to getting her back keep playing your cards right my friend.
@Thargus well done! Next thing i think is not to fall into the temptation and help her out all the time again… Show her that your feelings and needs are important too for her to respect you. Be nice to her if she is nice to you. Be firm if she just asks for favours. And I agree with Robertizle in the way you contact her friends. Don’t refer to her.
Hey Thargus. So you are the best judge here really but I think your texts are too friendly. Also next time just say “something came up”. And don’t go see her. Don’t tell her it was your mom. Let her wonder. Act in a way that it makes her wonder if you are seeing someone else now (taking long to answer especially at night, doesnt see you much at the gym, texts are colder, seem distant, never knows what you up to)
She is playing around with you and I honestly feel sad and frustrated for you that she is doing this. Or maybe I’m getting it all wrong? I don’t think you did bad in texting her friend. but should have just said hi happy birthday and have a good time. Without the “all”.
Was “good” you bought that mug to make her feel worse (lol we are such bbig manipulators), but don’t get her more stuff.
You need to treat her like a distant friend I guess. But see, now that you are stepping back she is coming after you. Thing is, it’s only gonna last if it’s something deeply ingrained in her. If it’s just something on the surface as soon as you make her feel safe again (that she is not losing you for good) she disappears again
That’s true.. don’t be so friendly. And the mug thing isn’t necessary.. she will get the intention. And I suggest not getting her anything. Remember, she tore your heart out. Let her come to you. If she feels again that she has you in the palm of her hand, like Kaila said.. she will dissappear. I know, it really sucks people are like this but psychologically.. it’s how they are wired. Stay strong. And once again, where the hell is AMY111?!
alright, thanks! i guess im just trying to learn the right way. its difficult lol
i will get there. i think im going in the right direction at least but i will take into what you said in consideration!
your definitely right about some things, i re-read what i had done and yeah i agree. its difficult to see at times lolIt’s ok Thargus 🙂 This is someone you have been close with for some time, sometimes it’s hard to draw the line. I used to think it was easy for me not to contact my ex regularly or something because deep inside I knew we were getting back. And well, we did. But now I think… even though we loved each other (i believe), maybe we never had that deep connection. So it was easier for us not to contact each other… I don’t know… it sucks but whatever.
Today I saw a motorcycle just like his, it was stopped on a red light. It’s really close to our area so I thought it was him. One time he arrived at a coffee shop in his bike and I didn’t notice it was him and went away without saying hi. That caused a huge ordeal so now I wanted to make sure. It was night time already so I looked straight at the guy (my eye sight is really bad xD), he kind of waved and I stopped and was like “I don’t know you do I?” and he kind of angrily said ” NO, just being nice!” LOL. I didn’t understand if I do know him (i knew a lot of bikers thru him) or if he thought I was complaining that he waved to me LOL wtf xD
I cant believe how hard this is. I’m struggling quite a bit.. She hasn’t messaged me since. Maybe that’s a good thing?
But I have a question, do I just keep saying to her that I am busy etc when she texts?@Thargus The problem is if you keep making excuses saying you’re busy and being blunt she may get too much of a bad idea about you. It’s a fine line to tread but just don’t go to drastically in one direction or the other.
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