met up with my ex, what do i do now??

Thatgus I think that whether you tell her or not is completely up to you. either way if you tell her or don’t, it will show how much you mean to her (if she contacts you or not)
I think personally, not telling her and just going no contact would be good. Leave it up to her to talk to you now. If you bump into her and she asks why you haven’t been talking, just say you started a new hobby (you actually do have to start one though!) and say you’ve been really busy etc 🙂

Amy, how are you doing? I’d love to hear any update, as it sounds like things are going well and I’m trying to keep my mind off my own situation. It’d also be really cool to keep in touch with you. If you have a facebook or something, you should add me!

Hey Thargus,
This is my first time on your post. I just read your story. Incredibly similar to mine. I dated her for 4-5 years then we didn’t speak for a while and then we spoke on and off for 2 years and blah blah. But the point is she wants a good friendship.. She wants to start afresh and wants things to be like before we started to date i.e. best friends.. What I realize from your conversation is that your ex goes hot and cold on you… Same as mine.. I gave her an ultimatum like you were planning.. Doesn’t work she said its better if we don’t talk.. She said she did not want to hurt me.. She wants to be a good friend.. I was needy and insisted she made a choice and she chose not to speak.. It doesn’t work..
So, I texted her after a day saying that friendship doesn’t work between exes.. but I think we are different.. I could not accept that you have moved away but honestly since you decided no relationship I felt much better the next day.. Deep inside I could not accept that its not going to work out but I feel much better.. We understand each other so well and I would like this friendship to last.. I told her you decide.. I am okay with whatever…

My ex used to behave like your ex and I always messed up.. It’s not like a power game but what makes them happy is knowing you will be there.. They will contact you some way or the other in a couple of weeks time if we don’t speak and yet they will not take things further.. They want to know you will be there.. What I plan to do is be unaffected by any of it.. Show them her that if they want just friendship we are fine.. You don’t need to be fine but you have to show it to her that you don’t care and are absolutely fine with being friends.. If she treats you cold or does not reply for 2 days like my ex.. you also stop replying or just reply with one word – making obvious your annoyance and yet not shouting.. Show them that they do not matter as much as they think they do.. Show them you are more than ready to be friends.. And don’t always make plans sometimes after a meeting with her disappear or don’t text her for like a few days and make a plan if she doesn’t.. Let her miss you and wonder where have you gone.. It’s impossible for them not to feel or remember.. Just act as a friend and when you go out initially it would be a good idea if you invite your other friends and make it a chill scene.. To make them like us we have to show that it does not matter if they are there or not.. That’s how they function.. Be absolutely cool about the friendship..

I am planning this line of action and then decide later the next step.. Any other suggestions?

Hey Amy! It’s great things are going that good. Honestly I know it’s very hard not to overthink but if he is that sweet to you and you feel things are going good, that’s what matters really. Those things don’t really mean anything in my opinion. You just got back, let things unfold naturally. Status on facebook or kisses on a text aren’t really important or telling of his feelings or anything.

Also I think @Thargus shouldn’t tell her he is busy with a new hobbie. I think he should just say he is busy and leave her wondering 😉 if she asks just say “aaah, I’ve been just going out more” or something eheh

Don’t give her what she wants. Let her come to you. You have things to do as well.. let her find it in her own time to come to you. That’s like a trap.

Say your really busy and can’t make it today-avoid seeing her. If need be, go out, leave it under a flowerpot at your house or something and say “im reall sorry but am out this afternoon, I can leave it under the flowerpot if you want to pick it up?”

Yes Amy is right don’t do it.. Just say you’re busy you have some work…