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well i tried to give my opinion a lot of Times and wasn’t really heard so i gave up. I did really try to join your discussion, but it seems like a private select group haha
ill do my best @between1standa. its harder at times than others, especially that i cant stop thinking about her..
i guess that’s natural though.
how are things going for you? could you link your thread again so i can get an update 🙂I know it’s hard. Trying is all you’ve got though, and you’re doing that!
You probably need to read the last couple pages to catch up, though that shouldn’t be hard. I really could use the advice or support or thoughts on what he’s feeling from a guy’s perspective.
Finishing work In a sec, I’ve read up to date @between1standa so get ready for a response 🙂
Thanks Thargus! Only real update since then that I didn’t put on here is that I had breakfast with my ex on Monday morning, he dropped some hints about wanting to hang out/make plans (asked me what my schedule was like for the day and told me he had no plans) that I totally missed, and then I accidentally ended up in the same froyo place as him and his friend yesterday. They were across the room so I pretended I didn’t see them, paid them no mind, got my food, and left. My ex texted me later and said, “You didn’t come say hi!” I pretty much continued to pretend I hadn’t seen him, and we didn’t talk or say a whole ton. I think he was a little peeved/butthurt I didn’t pick up on his hints on Monday and then that I pretended like I hadn’t seen him (though how he’d know I was pretending, idk) and ignored him. Nothing today so far, though I know he’s just sitting at home right now. Hopefully you see this before you reply, but no worries!
Right I’m on a train now so have a bit of time 🙂
Thargus, it’s good that she finally replied! When did you say the next time your meeting was?
I’m just worried that she’s dragging you along when she wants you and dropping you when she doesn’t if that makes sense? I don’t want you to get hurt and for her to take advantage of you-it would be extremely cruel! Has she ever said that there is a future or a possibility of getting back together for you guys?
1stanza I think it’s good that
You didn’t go rushing over to say hi!! It seems like he’s been mucking you
About a bit the past few days/weeks. Again, seems to think he can have/drop you whenever he wants :/ be careful not to let him walk all over you and let him know it’s all or nothing-it’s unfair what he’s doing :/Things with me are good! It’s still a little weird-we had a big talk about it all, he said how miserable he’s been with ought speaking to me and that he didn’t appreciate me when we were together, that he was a terrible boyfriend etc, and said the 3 months we didn’t talk at all were good in a way because he realised how much he didn’t appreciate me and how much I meant to him! He now wants to go on holiday, and he wants to do a “pretend” Valentine’s Day becUse he dumped me the weekend before.
I’m still being a bit careful…and we’re taking things slow, hVent said the “L” word or anything 🙂 but hopefully we’ll eventually get there again 🙂 he even rung me last night without me asking him to-something he never did when we were together!!I think 3 months no contact whatsoever was the best thing I could possibly have done ever!! No matter how hard it was, it really makes them realise what they’re missing!!
Congrats, Amy! I’m glad to see neither one of you let your fear get the best of you and that you’re just taking things slow and easing back into it. I think this is all going to work out for you, and I couldn’t be more happy to say that 🙂
I’m stuck in this place where I’m essentially NC/very LC, but I don’t think he necessarily knows that’s what I’m doing or understands why. He seems to be really butthurt that I haven’t talked to him or initiated plans or done anything, from the few messages I have received, and I keep wondering if I need to ask him to do something to try and explain why I’m going to be off the radar. I don’t know if this sounds like a stupid/bad idea, and with his schedule, I don’t know how we’d have time for it unless I specifically tried to make plans with him to talk to him. Any thoughts? I don’t want to lose him because he thinks I don’t care or have given up, but I also don’t want to keep letting him drag me on when this is so clearly dating/the beginning of a relationship and he just doesn’t see it.
I’ve kind of been keeping up with everything here and I do want to say congrats to @Amy111 , I got really happy hearing how things went between you and your ex because it seems like you have a fantastic approach and your ex is serious about rekindling things. I also am a little jealous because I wish I could have that happen with my ex (but time will tell all!)
@Thargus , I know how you feel about fighting a losing battle and not giving up. I’m the same type of guy. I actually told that to my ex when I tried getting her back right after she broke up with me is that I’m not the type of man to just not try. In these situations though, we have to put a little spin on things and realize, taking steps back may be the best way to try because absence does make the heart grow fonder. The gym trainer was right about being patient and I know you said you’re good at being patient. It’s also good you’re still getting to see her! That’s a good sign still.@between1standa sorry i didnt reply, not long after i said i would i got myself in a right state. depressed. i will do so after i have posted this.
@amy111 @UrbanOasis i think im about ready to have this talk on monday with her. shes not being fair and its making me feel bad.
basically, i have asked her if she is free on monday/tuesday. it is half term, (i know shes free) i basically had two free tickets to west midlands safari park. i got them using my tesco clubcard vouchers on a staff deal. she has ignored my text multiple times about me asking if she is free. i have asked her sister to ask/make sure she is. and still no reply.
the thing is, at this stage im just trying to be a friend, and i drove her places and dropped her to deliver cv’s etc, what im trying to say is that i did that for her all over the week. i was there when she needed it. but now i want to spend time with her as freinds, just ONCE. she ignores the text..
and i feel like crap. i feel like an idiot. and to think she supposed to be my best freind or one of..? i dont know what it is. i dont think she is intentionally doing this, but i dont know why she just cant reply “no im busy sorry”.
why is that so hard? this is so much more complicated than it needs to be. she knows how i feel so why do this? im raedy to just ask her an ultimatum on monday. i can be patient, but i cant be left feeling this way because it is just unhealthy.In general, I agree with everything you’ve said. i don’t think that it’s fair for you to be left dangling or to have to worry this much when you’re only trying to be a good friend. You’ve been so patient, not asking for more, and it feels like she’s just abusing that now. I think you have to do what’s best for you, even if it may hurt or may not be fun.
That being said, I do have one question. Not to excuse her behavior, because it’s still disrespectful and just not that damn hard to send one text message back, but hasn’t she kind of done this before? Way back when she was having some hard times or was depressed? If I’m recalling correctly, she usually seems to come around after a couple days and respond and tell you she’s sorry and that there was some external stuff going on in her life that just kind of wrapped her up. If I’m remembering this right, I think it’s entirely possible she’s not meaning to ignore you or that this has nothing to do with you. That doesn’t make it any more fair, but it is something to consider. I’d maybe wait it out a little longer or check with her family to see if anything of that nature has happened. If it has, I’d probably be a bit more forgiving, though I’d let her know that in the future you want/expect at least a simple text back telling you she’s going through a rough time, doesn’t feel like talking, but will be in touch or see you there.
your completely right.. im trying not to act or react out of how im feeling. same applies to if im annoyed, i never act while im still annoyed.
this is how it started in texts, where she was very quiet and didnt say a thing over the weekend and not replying to see if shes free saturday.
me: “where was my boxing partner today? i missed you. and tony tutted becuase you werent there and made me work twice as hard to make up for your lack of being there lol. i got stuck with a guy smelling with cigarette breath and i punched him in the face by accident. lol”
her “im sorry lol, its half term next week so i can go to both sessions. im promise. sorry ive been lame texting back. ive been writing. seriously i havent stopped the last few days. and saturday i read all of the last hunger games books. i only stopped to watch britains got talent 🙂 then sunday me and soph watched the first two movies.”
me: “half term already? jeeze. and next time we see each other i want to hear what you have added to your story, its always really good :). i take it you enjoyed the books haha. how has your new job been so far? you will have to tell me your work times.”
her: “(she just talked about her work times) i enjoyed the books a lot. plus its nice having a chance to talk to soph about them. shes reading norhtern lights now 🙂
will do. a lot is going on in the story lol”i just replied stating our tickets for monday night arrived and that if she has nothing planned keep that day or tuesday free. its those days i had the safari park planned.
im thinking of texting her this now in a few minutes ” whats up you? youve been very quiet ever since you said you felt funky last week, and ya didnt even come say hi earlier”
she walked from her sisters car into her house without coming to say hello to me becuase i was talking to my cousin in my car. she knew i was there..
i KNOW she has been writing a lot, but it still doesn’t take two secodns to reply. and im just confused about things. i feel like im fighting a lost cause @between1standa becuase everyone is telling me to just talk to her and give her an ultimatum so we can all go back to the way things were. but it will just ruin my chance of being with her again. :\
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