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You don’t sound too available. You sound available but not to the point that you’re a door mat or letting her walk all over you. It likely has nothing to do with you, and that’s why it’s so great that she comes to you for the help and comfort. Not overanalyzing is good and will serve you well in the long run.
so i picked her up and dropped her off, she didn’t actually tell me what was wrong, she was enjoying herself singing to the cd i put songs onto for her to cheer her up, (she doesn’t know i did that). after work we went straight to go shopping and she just seemed a lot happier. i didn’t bring it up, purely because i must have done something right for her to feel a lot better. that was satisfying enough for me. she was telling me all about her new ideas and stuff for her story she is writing, (shes a writer too).
so i dunno what to make of it. she did say we need to go and see Ted 2 when it is release in the cinema, that’s a few months yet though. and she wants to go boxing next week too.
i hope im going about this the right way..
as cheesy as it sounds, every time i see her its almost like my feelings just come rushing at me like crazy.
I think you’re doing a great job. I think that the only point at which this could become problematic is if you hit the point where you can’t be patient anymore, but things haven’t been resolved yet. This unfortunately sounds like it’s going to take a ton of time, but it does seem to be taking positive steps. If she doesn’t even have to tell you what’s wrong for you to make her happier, that tells me almost everything I need to know. She still really cares about you and you have a big emotional impact on her. The fact that she brings up plans for the future seems like a really good sign to me too.
I just updated. Mind reading my latest big post?
I’m glad to hear you can be patient! If you can do that endlessly, I genuinely feel things will work in the long run. I say that with like 90% certainty. Things just seem headed in the right direction for you, albeit slowly 🙂
Thank you so much! I’ve got two hours until I have to see him again and I just feel really unsure of myself and how to feel/act for the next couple days.
sorry about my late reply!! thanks so much for your opinions guys – we were having a great conversation! but I didn’t want the conversation to die out, so I ended it (nicely of course!) by saying “have a lovely time with matt today,hope hes well and have fun climbing the tanks! and working of course :P”
I thought if Im seeing him friday (hopefully – he hasnt mentioned anything about it to me in our messages :S) that 2 days of not talking will give us something to talk about if that makes sense hehe.
now that ive had time to read all your guys threads, I’ll go through each one.
@thargus it sounds so so positive! just keep what youre doing – you dont sound too available and it sounds really positive that she wants to do boxing too! I really hope it works out for you – you’ve been so patient with it all which has been amazing! I think thats the key with all of us here! and thats good that shes planning in advance- she’s already wanting to see you in the future!@1stanza ill go onto your other thread and read the updates! 🙂
I hope so, I just feel I have my doubts for some reason. I dunno. Could be just me feeling crappy or something. One thing I did notice was that when we went shopping I picked up her basket to hold and she took it to hold herself. I would carry her shopping normally because, well, why not? Its nice. Plus she buys a lot of stuff and it becomes heavy. Later on I took it back off her because she was struggling. But I could tell she didn’t want me to and the reason is obvious, because I’m not in a relationship anymore with her it would make her feel awkward me doing small things like that for her. :\
if it makes you feel any better, when i saw my ex we had a similar type thing…
it was really rainy, and i was like “shall we find shelter?” and he was like “theres no-where really around here, apart from that phnebox but that would be a bit cramped….” in the end i was like “pffft FINE lets just walk quickly!”
think of it not as awkward, but keeping the cards close to her chest/sexual awkwardness if that makes sense? i dont think she did it in a way that meant “i dont want to be in a relationship with you”, but maybe just wanted to show she can manage to do stuff by herself?
its not a bad thing 🙂 i did it with my ex when i met up with him haha, its a bit of a confidence boost 🙂 but yeah dont think too much into it, its not a bad thing 🙂
Hmm I see what your saying. Tha ks 🙂 and yeah I’m still trying to learn not to think too much into things. Its difficult to realise when you are doing that lol
she just text me again, saying, “Hi. could i be an absolute pain and ask for a lift again today. My sister cant take me but i was meant to be seeing my friend this afternoon.”
shes asking me to give her a lift to work again today,
i replied with this
“just gonna find out my shift and ill let you know, i dont have proper rotas yet since ive come back to work so im having to wait/ask for my times when my boss answers his phone. and woman, how many times do i have to say you are not a massive pain lol”
she replied “haha i disagree 🙂 thanks. if not dont worry :)”
I dunno what to do. People are telling me to just give up, people who dont know her and things but are giving me advice and I dont know where to go with it. They are saying if she wanted to be with me she would be by now and things, it’s very off-putting and its messing with how I feel. I want to stay persistent and its been 3 and a half months since she broke up with me.. Hells sake.
Thargus everyone has a different timing 🙂 You two are talking and going out, she is even talking about the future. Why would she say you should see that movie in months if she wasnt thinking of being with you by then? Don’t fret, just keep going for now 🙂
Excuse me, Kaila! Wow. Just woke up and that’s what I do 😛 I should not be online right now.
From my experience you have to…
1. Trust your gut instinct. One of the things I regret is not following my gut as I knew there was something wrong with my ex but rather then nip it in the bud, I let it go and it ended up becoming worse.
2. Follow your heart. Your heart know what it wants, believe in it and be patient. Don’t over-think and if it’s meant to be,it’s meant to be.
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