met up with my ex, what do i do now??

So I’m waiting to pick her up from work, and our song has just come on the radio. Confidence is now on edge lol. Wish me luck

Well put it this way. She brought up the convo. And we both agreed to go to coffee this week and sort us out 🙂 when I get out if bed ill tell you in more depth

so heres how it went. the night out was awesome, just as good as the last. the show was okay, could have been better. on the way home, she turned and asked me if i enjoyed our night out, and i replied of course it was great.
she said that she doesn’t wanna make it awkward and that i need to stop asking people about her and if i really am okay being friends? so we talked outside her house in the car. i said of course im okay being friends but she has to understand its going to be difficult. i still have feelings for you and they are not going to go away any time soon and that’s just how it is. and im asking about you becuase well.. picture yourself in my shoes, we spent every day together for almost a year. during this two months apart, all i have heared is that your extremely down in the dumps, upset etc and i just care about you too much to not know how you are. of course im going to ask how you are, i NEED to know how badly you are feeling because i just do. i care too much to just ignore that, i cant and its impossible. throughout all this she is just smiling to my response. i feel as though i took charge of this whole conversation and said what i wanted to say.

i told her that there is no doubt in my mind that you still have feelings for me. no doubt. its just to obvious, when we are out it just shows. and from things i have heard it shows there.. and i also brought up the fact she bought me socks. i said..
and those socks you bought me.. no way did you just buy them, and forget we broke up like you said. thats the most bull story ive ever heard lol
she laughed at that knowing i was right!

she even replied to what i just said, telling me she does still have feelings. but she also told me the reason for ending it.
which was this..

she said she ended it after finding out i was planing a two day weekend away for our first year together. she said that i am so nice, so sweet, and so thoughtful and that it is not fair she cant give back what i give her. that i am more committed than she is. she said its not fair and i deserve better. in response to this i told her that it is fine. it REALLY is fine. what is not fair is the fact we both feel the same way about each other and that we are not together. that is not fair. i said the reason i am so nice is not because i try too hard, but because you so often feel down and in the dumps because of your job and i am here to cheer you up, it is my job to do that, i love cheering you up. i love making you happy. it makes me happy.. that is how it is and it is totally fine. and you shouldn’t feel selfish for that. it really is okay.

all she could do was smile at this.

i also brought up what i thought of our relationship, i said this.

i feel as though the year together was amazing but i said you have to agree, on both of our sides we made mistakes, mistakes as in we talked too much to other people and not to ourselves. getting other peoples opinions and not our own and not what we think is best for US. not them. she COMPLETELY agreed. i said it should be us against the world sort of thing. OUR relationship. not anyone elses. if we have an issue we should talk to eachother. i said i am also to blame, and it comes down to confidence for one another. which would naturally grow and take its course and naturaly develop a loving relationship towards one another if we did that and i wish we did and we should. COMMUNICATION is everything in a relationship. i said it really really does deserve that chance now we have realized, to see and prove that everything is okay and that it can definitely work knowing how we feel about each other.

she also knows that the reason there was no intimacy was because i never pressured her in that way due to her past and she loved me for that and said i am the sweetest person for knowing and cant say how much she appreciates it.

so we both agreed to savor this conversation and say what we gotta say properly over a coffee or a day out 🙂 she wanted this as much as i did. im so happy we are going to try and work this out and hopefully give it another shot, whether it be a fresh start or a continuation. either way, i hope it happens. i really do.

amy how long has it been for you now? and it really helped that she brought up the conversation lol