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It’s me again, this time from Croatia – I’ve succesfully arrived 😀
And I don’t have english spelling checker on this notebook, so I’m sorry for my mistakes.So… Yeah. It’s 12th July. Strange. Very very strange to think about where were I a year ago and how far I’ve got for today. Now I’m in a hotel room with my parents, laying on a double bed alone, and beside me should lay that girl with who I’ve started a beautiful and romantic relationship exactly one year ago. Everything was so perfect… But I think I don’t have to describe because you may know this feeling.
So where were I one year ago?
Walking home after a long day and after a long train traveling. My soul was empty and overflowing at the same time. I’ve just left my girlfriend at the station, and I were already really missing her, but at the same time, I was full of positive feelings. And it’s not only because I’ve got my first girlfriend, but every little thing was perfect around that day, I got positive energies from everywhere (that’s why I used the word overflowing). It seems like it was destined to happen. Of course I don’t believe that much in these mystical things, but I must express myself somehow.
And now, here I am – I’ve changed a lot, I’ve improved a lot, I’ve stared a lot of new things, I’ve became better at lot of things… I’m here, with a better myself – without that girl who was everything to me.
From July to February, my life was the same. Happy, but always the same. The meetings with my girlfriends were the peaks of this happiness. And concerning a time period around last July, August and September, I’m not only talking about myself. My best friend had her boyfriend, an other really good friend of my had her girlfriend (also a ldr). Recalling these times, I always find myself asking why did these days have to pass and fade away, while everything was so perfect? I’m not saying that I’m not happy now, but these days were so idyllic.
Okay, that might be so boring for you, but I had to sum up things for myself.Well, a lot of people have told me that why is it better to have an experienced partner… But I just simply can’t understand that. In my opinion, having sex with someone is much meaningful if you do it for the first time. And if you have a partner who had done it with someone else, you might have a feeling that it’s less meaningful to them than it is to you.
And I would also find it a bit disguisting that if my partner has had sex with someone else before me. I know, concerning these topics, I’m totally weird. It was also a bad feeling for me that my ex had her first kiss with an other boy 4-5 years ago (I had my first with her). So… Sorry, but you can’t convince me 😀Haha, my best friend is really just a best friend 😀 And remember, I told you that I was in love with her about 1,5 years ago 😛
Our relationship? Well, it’s changing. Sometimes we talk really often, and during the whole day, but sometimes we don’t say a word to each other for a week (maybe only in the group chat). But we are really close to each other I think. Concerning my side, she is the person who knows the most about me (since the break up, even more than my ex).
I don’t exactly know how to imagine a relationship with her. But to be honest, I would be interested. I’ve mentioned that she is a really pretty and nice girl, and we are best friends, so we can really understand each other, and at the same time we can talk about silly things and laugh a lot 😀 So the basics are given.
By the way, it would be an other long distance relationship, so it’s a disadvantage. But I’ve told you that next year I’ll move to the capital, and she lives nearby the capital in a sorrounding city (strange case, I don’t know the english word for these cities but I know that in german it’s Vorort 😀 ).
Anyway, these were just theories, I’m totally okay with having a frienship with her, and I don’t want more.And now I’m in trouble. My father wants to borrow the notebook. Sorry >< I’ll reply to your post about your case and write down a few more things as soon as possible!
Aaaaand I’ll break my promise ><
Tons of things happened. Yeah, in connection with my ex. It’ really slow to type from this old notebook, but I’ll tell you everything on Sunday! (I’m about to arrive home at Friday, but on Saturday my best friend will have a “fan meeting” (reminder: she is a YouTuber) and I’ll attend that. Of course I’m not or not just a fan, but any friend of hers are welcome as well 😀 ).
And I’ll react to your case as well, of course! 😉Have a great summer till then!
Oookay, I’m gonna break my promise >< I think I’ll write a long post on Sunday, in whick I’ll react to your case, and also tell you a lot of news. Because a very many things happened! (And what’s more, it would be really exhausting to type a longer post from this old notebook).
I’m going to arrive home on Friday, but on Saturday I’m going to the “fan meeting” of my best friend (reminder: she is a YouTuber). Of course, I’m much more than just a fan of her, but any friend of her is welcomed as well 😀If you visit this forum, you can tell me some news till then 🙂
(lol. That’s awkward. My notebook did not show the previous posts in this topic and I’ve forgot that I’ve already told you these things. No comment… XD )
Alright… hey! 🙂
It’s been quite some time, hasn’t it? ^^
Now that I’m working Monday ’til Friday I don’t really have any time so I hope you don’t mind too much.Actually.. not a lot happened. I’ve been thinking of my ex. Dreaming of her aswell, which sucked because I always have this weird feeling when waking up and realizing that it didn’t happen.
Also I realized that since March (since the breakup) I had contact to about 500 (not a typo..) girls and believe me.. I would trade ALL of them together for my ex -.-
I also thought about when to contact my ex again because I know that as long as she’s in London she won’t start a relationship with that other guy. So I’d have to get in touch with her again about a Month or so before she comes back BUT I also want to finish my stuff like school, drivers license, etc.
I want to be in a spot where I can say.. I moved forward. I did something. Right now I am still doing it but I want to finish it!
After that I want to get in contact with her again.
Also.. tomorrow 2 years ago I met her.. let’s see what I’ll feel like tomorrow.I see your point but sex is always just as meaningful as you want it to be. If you meet someone at a bar one night and you end up sleeping with that person, then it’s literally just sex. However if you have a significant other who you love and desire then it’s a whole different story.
But yes.. everybody has their own opinion on things, therefore I don’t even want to change your opinion because yours is just as valid as anyone else’s 🙂For everything else, just write me when you have time to!
-Andi
quick update..
I am meeting a few new girls recently which finally made my thoughts about writing with my ex again very very rare.
I know that if i write her again, I will fall in love again quickly. So right now, I’ll use the time I have and do what I want.
Let’s see how things turn out in a few weeks..How’ve you been?
-Andi
Hi im grace. Just saw the word LDR and decided to join in since i have similar situation.
I was in a long distance relationship with my good friend after 2 years of knowing him. I liked him from the very beginning. It was a dream came true when he confessed to me after a breakup with his ex. We were only together for two months and we broke up after he found out i lied to him. I begged for him to let me prove that im sorry. He said he will wait for my changes.. saying that he really love me.
Yet, the texts just got lesser and lesser.. i begin to panic and sent texts to him. He then replied that he already have someone else he like.
Im sad of course as it seems to go back to the beginning where he left me for another girl. He will only be back after break ups. I really love him. i dont talk to him anymore. I too, starting to hit the gym, get myself involve in socials.
Andy
First, I would like to apologize for being inactive for so long, but lot of things happened in the past weeks. And what’s more, when I wanted to write a post there in the evening – as I always did before – someone or something always came into my way 😐
Whatever, I think you’re not interested in the excuses, but in what happened 😀So, I try to sum up everything shortly.
It all started on 12th July. But not last year, when me and my ex started to date. It was this year’s 12th July, the date of our “anniversary”. I was on holiday as I’ve said, and my ex… well, she was drunk as hell. Yes, this is an obvious sign that she is not 100% over me, but it’s not that surprising, because 1) it’s not the only sign 2) I would have done the same if I were not on a holiday with my parents (Croatia was beautiful by the way).
She wrote a lot of stupid things to the group chat while she was drunk. And not funny stupid things – awkward and disturbing stupid things. She said several times how drunk she is and that she has never been so drunk. Which is false, because some year ago she had an accident: one of her friends made her so drunk that she even had to go to the hospital (I mean not she went there, someone took her to the hospital because she would have been not able to go by herself). While we were dating she said she will never be drunk again because of it. Well… She violated this plan many times.
So, back to the story. The peak was when she sent a video of herself and her friends saying random four-letter words and shouting things that no one could understand.
At this point, I’ve decided that no matter what consequences will it have, but I’ll write her a long message, in which I tell her nicely how fkin irritating is she.
So in the morning I’ve sent the message. I think I was very diplomatic but honest at the same time. At first she believed that I’m not telling the truth, and it’s only me who has problems with her. But I showed her some sreenshots of private conversations with the others from the group chat.
Of course, it’s easy to guess: she was nervous and angry as hell! But I can understand that. I think I’ve managed to stay calm during the whole conversation.
To be honest, I really hoped that she will leave the group and I won’t see her again in my life.
That day was very tiring, I’ve talked with a lot of people, but by the end of the day, she promised that she will change her behavior, and she offered “peace” to me (I don’t know what’s the right expression). After this, I was not active on the group chat because I wanted to enjoy the remaining part of my holiday.
But I talked with some people in private. I think I’ve mentioned in some of my previous posts that there are some new members in the group chat. I’ve chatted with one of them, and you know… New guys are more likely to tell you more things, cause they are a little bit awe due to the fact that they are the “new ones”. So she told me that she had a long conversation with my ex, and she knows about our past, and my ex told her that she actually really wanted to leave the group because of me some months after the break up.
You know, my ex always said that she is totally over me, she is living her life… And actually, I always knew that it’s not true, but it felt really good to finally get some verification! This new girl doesn’t even have a guess how much she helped me.When I came home from the holiday, right after the day I arrived home, I went to the fan meeting of my best friend. Aaand it was much better than I expected! And not because of her. Of course, everyone was there because of her, but she was busy, she couldn’t be everywhere always. The community was really good, I’ve found some new friends. And a good friend of mine met his current girlfriend there! 😀 They met for the very first time in the morning of that day, and when the meeting ended they walked home holding each others’ hand. I don’t really believe in falling in love for the first glance, but I’m keen on what will happen between them 😀 This guy is a really close friend of my (let’s say he is my second best friend) and he was the one with who I’ve talked a lot about relationship related stuffs, because we had our last relationship at the same time (his was shorter by the way).
I did not expect that this will be so meaningful for me. I’ve got to know that I’m open enough to meet with new people and to communicate with them, and to make new friends. I would have not been able to do that before the break up I’m sure.
One more thing that surprised me is that my best friend hugged me and petted me a lot. She is a kind of that who is really hungry for love, but she has not done these things with me so often before. But I’m not complaining at all, it felt good 😀
I spent the next week with worrying about the new meeting with my ex, cause on last Sunday, we had the meeting for the group. Yes, I’ve spent a whole day with my ex. And I’m still alive!!! 😀
Actually, the whole day was strange. I don’t have the feeling of an average meeting. By average, I mean… there were 3 big meetings before, so there is not really ‘average’, but you know… 😀 But I think that’s due to the fact that we, the people in the group, have got familiar with each others’ physical presence too much, so there is no such feeling that “oh my good, we only know each other from internet and we barely see each other”. Actually, it was the third time that I’ve met with my best friend and with the “second-best friend” guy only in this month, so there might be some truth in it 😀
And the meeting, concerning my ex… Well, not so many things happened at the meeting itself, I treated her like an average member of the group. But after the meeting… I’m still surprised, because our relationship improved a lot. I no longer feel the pain (only if I think about it deeply), I don’t find her irritating and annoying, and we can talk more easily.
I’ve got to know that she is in love with a boy from her city – but the boy is not in love with her. I don’t know if is it just a “rebound love”, or she might be able to fall in love 4-5 months after our break up.
And well, concerning our romance… At this point, I’m definitely don’t want to get back together with her. I mean totally 0% chance. As I’ve told you, one year later we’ll both live in the capital, so distance would be an obstacle no more, but… 1) it’s pretty far away. You can’t imagine how many things can happen during one year. 2) I’m not refusing it, but even if we would be neighbours right now or 1 year later, getting back together is not a plan of mine.
But we can’t say anything for sure. Everything could happen and everything could turn around at a glance 😀 Just remember my friend who got a romance from one day to an other 😀Well… That was not short. But at least I’ve managed to summarize things. And I’m pretty sure that something is missing. However, I’ll write it in a further post.
How do you feel about your ex? Do you still want to get her back? And can you keep no contact? Tell me if any interesting or unusual thing has happened! 😀
Hi there! 😀
In what have you lied to him? Is it something serious or just a hilarious misunderstanding?
Don’t be too needy, don’t text him too much. It will only make things worse. He’ll find you irritating. If he really likes you, he will keep up the contact in some way.
Wish you the bests!Hey, I’ll keep it short.
First of all im happy that everything seems to work out for you that good! 🙂
Now for me.. I don’t miss the person my ex has become. I do however miss the person she was 1 or 1,5 years ago. Anyways.. right now i have no contact to her and i’m not even sure if i’ll ever change that – we’ll see how things turn out.
I definitely dont want to be together with who she has become. I might get in touch with her when i go to university but untill then i dont know if i want any contact. Also i dont think i need it – it might just confuse me or hurt me. Why the hell should i risk that? ^^Now since both of us dont really want our exes back anymore i think it’s also time to stop writing here. Thats also why i haven’t answered sooner. This blog is in some way the final chapter in the story of me and my ex – lets close it.
However i’ll gladly help you if you have any problems. I wont be gone all of a sudden! ^^Thanks for everything and best of luck!
-Andy
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