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I broke up with my girlfriend about a month and a half ago. The best part of my life didn’t feel right and I panicked and was scared and made a brash decision. We dated for almost two years with a solid 5 month period prior to that in which we were “a thing”. So it’s been a while, from when I was 14 to well past 16, and she’s a year older.
During the breakup, I learned more about being a better man and boyfriend than I ever could’ve thought, and I learned you have to hunker down and love somebody even when it’s hardest. I was so excited to ask for a second chance to be better than I ever had, but she doesn’t want that. She’s everything I want from her values, personality, interests, and beauty. She’s the girl I want raising my kids (not a standard thought for a teenage boy). I genuinely could see myself marrying her, and she’s said the same to me. She was talking to another guy within weeks of our breakup, which blew my mind and hurt more than I could imagine, and they’ve been hanging out. Of course I already messed up with the frantic texts and calls. We were never like every other stupid high school couple. We had real love and concern for each other’s well being. I want her back so badly. Each of the past 5 nights I’ve written her a letter. I’m going to continue to do so until it’s 40 nights in a row. If I can end each one with “I love you” with the same conviction, I’m going to give them to her. In the meantime, I’ll limit our contact and allow her to venture on without me. Seeing her with this other guy makes me sick to my stomach. Any thoughts?Do not concentrate on her being with another guy. You two arent together and feeling any type of betrayal in this type of situation is misguided. She is probably trying to fill a void. Why did you break up exactly? And do you think this could be a case where you just dont want anyone else to have her? Our minds play dirty tricks on us during the loss of love/ a breakup.
I think the letter writing is a good idea. It will help you work out emotions etc.
Do not attempt to reach out to her. If you have to interact with her, make is brief and always be the one to end the convo. Good luck
I broke up with her because I was confused I guess. Relationships aren’t always perfect, and ours had been for like 18 months. And I faced some emotional adversity I guess and didn’t handle it properly. I think the pain and separation were really necessary to teach me a lot of things.
And good point, but I already asked myself that question thoroughly. I would want her back just as badly as if this guy didn’t exist. And I’ve been working hard to eliminate the bitter feelings toward Her and just allow her to do what she needs to do to be happy. I’ll suffer for her to be happy. She’s just made quite a few promises she isn’t keeping that are hard to let go of. I know I did the same by ending it, but within a short amount of time I was willing to do everything I could to make up for lost time and love her with all I had. I’m still willing to do so. We haven’t spoken in over a week per the advice of this website, I’m just afraid she’s more and more okay without me as the days go.She’s just trying to cover up her feelings and filling the void with this new guy.
Have no fear. Fear is a liar! Keep faith and hope. Fill yourself with happiness. And give it all time. Time can do wonders, and time will give you both perspective. She will not move on quickly or easily.
Ive had all the fears you have and my ex still misses me like crazy and recently told me I soothe her soul. (8 months since break up. Almost 3 months since last attempt at reconciliation) Ive been NC for three weeks and even told her to not reach out. That I am moving on completely. This time, she reached out, but I didn’t give in like usual. She then messaged my sister. Which she hasnt done ever… so my point is.. your ex will still be confused and miss you. She still loves you on some level.
Get right. Get the girl.
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