Is this breaking NC? Or should I not wait? Thanks!

Hi everyone, my situation is a bit different as it is my best friend and not a significant other that I want to win back. No contact has worked for me twice before in my life in romantic relationships…one time it worked to win my ex back but it worked both times to heal my heart. I know it always works to heal a broken heart, but I’m hoping and praying and have a gut feeling I will wind up with the side effect of having her back in my life eventually. I won’t go into details about what caused the fallout in our friendship, because I have already beaten myself up enough over my stupidity and don’t want to be lectured and raked over the coals. Long story short, I have a mental illness and have always struggled with compulsive lying. We have only known each other a couple years, but something really, really “clicked” between us right away and we became very good friends, more like soul sisters. She eventually told me that I was like a little sister to her (15 years between us), and I felt (and still feel) the same away about her. She finally confronted me about something, and I voluntarily confessed all the things I’d lied to her about, counting on her promise that nothing could ever separate us.

She immediately forgave me that time, but when I wrote her a long letter confessing everything…she stopped speaking to me and said she needed time to process it. I realize that’s reasonable and don’t blame her, but I freaked out at the thought of losing her…and resorted to the begging, terrorist texting…you know, what DOESN’T put someone in a forgiving mood. I said a prayer and went over to her apartment a few nights later…it didn’t end well. She told me she hadn’t really thought about the situation yet, and felt numb about it. That hurt, and there was some yelling between us. Her boyfriend (who has cheated on her multiple times, which she knows all about) had the nerve to lecture me on honesty…and told me I needed to leave, I had no choice, so I did. I gave her a couple weeks, then sent her a text telling her I needed to know if we were going to work through this….or part ways. She responded and told me she wasn’t ready to make any decisions yet. My heart was hurting so bad and it was eating me alive to the point that I needed a yay or a nay, so I told her I was going to have to make a decision – and told her we better part ways. She didn’t really put up a fight. But then a couple weeks after that, I bumped into her….she ran off and avoided me, after a cordial text earlier that day, the last text she sent me read “I told you all I needed was for you to give me some time. But nooo….you have to have it your way. Very manipulating. And no, I didn’t lie to you like you did to me”. Going on auto-pilot I replied but kept it short and said I’m not going to respond to that, it’s time to part ways, please don’t contact me.

Now, looking back on how it all unfolded, I’m realizing how stupidly I behaved throughout the whole thing, and that I DID twist a lot of the things she was saying to me. She means so much to me, and I know that no matter what she says, deep down, she still loves and cares for me too. I really don’t think a strong bond between two people just shatters overnight. I know that our friendship held her up at a few critical points, and at this point my only option is to give her space….and I’m hoping doing no contact will give her time to miss me and to cool down. I realize it’s all my fault, and if I could give an arm or a leg to be able to have just one conversation with her right now, I would do it. I sent her a few texts of “love you chica” and “miss you” over the last couple months, but realized I was probably only fueling the fire at this point….tomorrow I will officially be at 3 weeks no contact at all. I’m to the point where I’m functioning again, being able to focus at work, have my appetite back, my co-workers have all commented that I look much better than I did two months ago (when everything fell apart). My question is….I have this nagging feeling that I should issue her one last short but sincere apology…one that doesn’t sound desperate and needy like my pathetic attempts early on did. If I leave a short but sweet and sincere letter on her porch…is that breaking NC? Should I wait 60-90 days and THEN leave the letter and leave the ball in her court? I fully believe in the power of NC, from experience, but my psychiatrist who I’ve been talking to about the situation, said he thinks people all too often underestimate the power of a piece of paper and a sincere apology. I asked co-workers (many of whom I am pretty decent friends with) for their input, and the response was about 50/50. One however, said he strongly feels I shouldn’t apologize anymore than I already have, and should let it go completely and see if she comes around. Opinions and guidance here please! Thanks a million!!