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I saw my ex two weeks ago for the first time in 4 months. He showed up to a party with mutual friends. They didn’t have to convince him or anything – he heard about the party and wanted to come, knew I’d be there, said it was fine. I didn’t acknowledge him at first, so HE was the one to say hey. We didn’t talk much. I was nothing but friendly, BUT didn’t give him any more attention than my regular friends. No hugs, no special treatment. He would make a small talk comment to me occasionally, which was a nice change from our 4 months of silence. We went to a club, and during driving arrangements my DD was gathering me, my other friend, and our friend John to ride – heard my ex say under his breathe “Is [DD] trying to get John and her together in a car…” There’s nothing between me and John, BUT was he jealous? Seemed like a jealous comment.
After the club we went back to hang out. While there he talked about how many matches he got on Tinder, OK Cupid, how on his vacation to Asia he wished they’d hit up a strip club, how hot all the girls were, how he went on that date and brought condoms, etc. I pretended I didn’t care to save face. My friend who went with him to Asia said to ignore it all. He didn’t go out with the Tinder girls! He didn’t do anything! In fact, my ex not only didn’t need condoms, but didn’t even kiss that girl on the date. It was all bragging apparently? My aunt is a therapist and she said he said all that stuff and bragged because he’s trying to build up his self-esteem.
I saw him this past weekend. He showed up to another event! I knew he was coming so I prepared – hair, makeup, outfit, everything was absolutely the hottest I could be. My friend told me I looked 11/10. I was nothing but friendly and nice the whole time. That’s two weekends in a row he’s shown up to events I’m at. Why is he suddenly back in my life? The whole time he blatantly flirted with another girl there, who we both just met that day; she was visiting from out of state and leaving the next day so it’s not like it could go anywhere. Everyone else noticed too; it was obvious. I pretended it didn’t bother me.
Was he trying to make me jealous with all this?
If so, what does it mean? Should I keep pretending it doesn’t bother me?
Thank you.
Don’t pretend. It doesn’t bother you. You’ve been told from multiple sources that he’s all talk with no reality to back it up. He’s trying to get you to come back to him the easy way (With the “I miss you”s, the crying, and the apologizing) by making you so jealous that you snap, giving up all control you have over the situation (Imagine if you DID let all of this build up, leading to an enormous display of genuine emotion on your part, only to be met with a “No” and smug grin on his face). Alternatively, if he’s so insecure that he feels as though he has to pad his “reputation” with loads of bullsh*t in order to get your attention, then you’re left in the position of control, and if the day comes that he actually gets ballsy enough to ask you back out, you can, of course, say yes (or “No” with a smug grin on YOUR face).
But if he was trying to get my attention or get me back, why wouldn’t he come right out and say it instead of making me jealous? He could simply ask me out and get a yes…no need for such a show! I don’t see the need for jealousy.
Also, if he is actually trying to get my attention, why not text me or something? Seems a lot easier lol..
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