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Posts
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Hello,
I have read all of your stories and i am in the same situation. Everyday i get up i feel like the world is empty. i have got nothing to do without him. I don’t wanna go out without him and only thinking about him wishing around sitting next to me hugging me as the days before. We broke up just 10 days ago and i am going to do the NC. I dont know how it works but i am trying anyway. I only want to send him text every second to remind him i am alive and i exist.
Your share and thoughts really made me cry because it truly says what i am feeling and thinking as well as going through. This Xmas we should have a plan together but its now going to nowhere as we broke up.
I only wish to have him back. I am very bad giving advise but i wish and hope your exes will change their mine and come back to the girls who love them more than theirselves. I wish my ex too.
Hey scatteredtracks 🙂 Yes I believe only true love lasts in the end. We may not know for sure if they are really the one, but for me I guess the best things to do is move on with my life too, I’m no longer at all thinking of wanting to get back with him. I mean of course I still love him, a lot a lot. I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone this much again. If I can turn back time too there’s a lot of things I wished I’d do also thingss that I wished I didn’t do. 🙁 Sadly life doesn’t work this way so.. we gotta learn this hard way . I just.. never regret of loving him, because I must admit, time spent together with him are still the best times of my life. I never regret fighting for us to work. And a part of me will always wait for him. I got a feeling that he will too.
I’m not sure what is your ex thinking babe.. It may be a rebound or even GIGS. (Grass is Greener Syndrome) Because nothing beats the bonds that you both build together for so long. You may have differences but true love conquers all. My heart is partially moved on now. I didn’t give up or stopped trying , but I no longer cry so much and over think things. I just want to focus on what I should be focusing now – my studies.
Our break ups suck because we really loved them with all our heart. Simple as that. :/And OMG my ex texted me! He asked : your exam coming up? On thurs but I didn’t received any noti .. Then on Friday he sent an emoji ( kinda like a sad face) but still I didn’t receive any noti until now! ( Saturday) Why… it’s so weird that I only received the noti now :/ He must be thinking I was ignoring him >< Do you think it’s a good sign? Haha :/ I replied him back and he haven’t replied back yet. Not hoping anything much more though, but I’m glad he remembers :’)
Hiya, sorry I haven’t replied for a couple of days. I’ve been thinking about everything.
I’m still thinking that my ex is probably in a rebound relationship. But even if he is, it’s time for me to move on. I need to start living my life and doing fun things that I’ve always wanted to do. I’m going to start saving up money to pay off my student loan and then hopefully I’ll be able to save and go travelling.
It’s really hard to get up every morning as I always remember what has happened. Although, sometimes it still doesn’t really feel real. I think I’m in denial or something.
I really want to go on a date or something, probably nothing further. But there’s no one around here that I’m really interested in. As I live in a small town and know everyone already. Hopefully I’ll be able to meet some new people some how. My ex did say ‘You wouldn’t believe how many new people I’ve met in the last few months’ – I just wish I was the same.
@tropica I think you need to focus on yourself now. I know it is so so so hard without your ex and you will feel really empty without them. But the thing is, if you don’t start doing things to make yourself happy and move on then they will see that you are miserable. I had to admit to my ex that why he was out having fun and meeting new people, I had been lying in my bed crying and thinking about him for two months. The only way we can get through all this pain is to find things that we enjoy and distract ourselves. At the moment, even if I’m not busy I’ve been watching TV shows that I really love and I’ve been listening to music. Sometimes the music reminds me of my ex and I cry for a little bit, but I think that’s okay and very natural as you have to truly feel things.
I really hope your ex changes your mind. Good luck with your NC my dear. It’ll be a very hard time but the most important thing is that you focus on yourself and not him. Now is the time where it’s okay to be a little bit selfish.
@moonbunny I just want to thank you so much for always being here <3 I really hope that you can add Sri on Facbeook and then she can send me your name and I’ll add you. I don’t know what I would have done without your support for the last few weeks. It really does help just to express everything that I’m feeling and have someone that understands and really listens.
But I think your plan is a really good one. We have to go on living our lives wether our exes are there or not. My heart has moved on as well, as I don’t have any other option. There is no way I can force my ex to love me again. So for now, I have to move on. I still feel as though I will talk to him in a couple of years but maybe when the time has passed I will no longer feel like doing that anymore. I’m not feeling as hurt as I was when I first found out. Because I understand that people do different things to get past the hurt and the emotions and I can’t hold that against him. I can’t be bitter because ultimately it’s his life. It is really sad that he doesn’t really care what I’m thinking of him or what I’m doing anymore. But there’s no way I will be out of his thoughts completely and I think that in a few years he will probably wonder how I’m doing.
I’m sooooo excited that your ex texted you!!! Although we probably shouldn’t get our hopes up just in case. It’s really strange how you didn’t receive it for a while!! Maybe he will just think that you’ve been super duper busy, which can’t be a bad thing. I really hope that you can reconnect with him my dear, let me know if he replied to your reply!! :’)Aww yeah I wished we could chatbin fb too! I’ve searched for sri with her email add and nothing came out so I searched for just her name but there’s so many people with the same name 🙁 Can you tell me which characteristics does hwr profile picture has?
I’m really glad I have you with me here too. I can’t imagine how miserable I would be without chatting here with you and have someone and understand me so much too. Thanks babe <3 Ahhh I’m feeling the same! But I don’t really wanna date yet I just want to make new friends at the moment. Because although I seem like an extrovert person but really, I don’t have much trustable friends and it suc. Aww good luck on your travel plan! Maybe we even get to travel together someday haha 😉 I’m saving up money too because I really want to go to my favorite band’s concert in Japan in November! It seems like a big dream but I hope it can happen haha. I hope I don’t get too distracted too as my exam is just around the corner :S
Ohh btw my ex dod reply me. After he asked me about my exam, he sent me an emoji the day after because I didn’t reply him, which means that well, he actually cared for my reply 😛 Anyway we chatted back and forth a little, he asked me about my exact exam date and I asked h about his classes and just some random things nothing much. I ended the conver after I have out of things to say. :/ I down care anymore but I have a plan to maybe ask him out after my exam. not that I miss US so much but I really do want to care for him still. :/ I don’t know ill see how it goes.
Anyway let’s continue living our lives and striving our dreams! We don’t need them at all. And is meant to be is meant to be. Let’s havw faith and keep moving forward . Life is too short to be wandering around peeple who doesn’t deserve us at all. Love you babe! 😀 Have a nice day!
Today has been awful. I wanted to contact him so bad but I haven’t. I can’t believe he hasn’t text me to see how I am, or wanted to talk to me. I feel like he just doesn’t care about me at all. I don’t know how much longer I can carry on like this.
🙁
Moonbunny
I am feeling very upset
Because i feel attracting him now is very hard for me
because after doing nc
I had asked him about y our relationship ended
Few weeks ago
And i feel he has build up his wall against my emotions!!
I seriously dont know what to do now.
Do you think i should move on??Sri’s facebook profile is a picture of her and her friend 🙂 Hopefully you will be able to find her now?
It’s really great that we have each other to talk to. I’m not just saying that it means a lot, it really, really does. For some reason I can’t sleep tonight so I’ve just been trying to give people advice on these boards 🙂 I really hope that things work out for the best for everyone. I know what you mean!! I don’t really have anyone that I can think of that I could become friends with. A guy that I was sort of interested in going on a date with (nothing more really) now has a girlfriend so that was pretty disappointing. My biggest social event of the year (my friend’s birthday – he always has a big party) will be coming up in December so hopefully by then I will be really confident and happy and may be able to meet someone or at least make some new friends. Maybe we could travel together one day! That would be very cool :’) At the moment I’m not sure who I could travel with. I had planned to go on a tour some where with my ex… but I never got the chance to ask him! D: We hardly ever went on holidays together. I wish we had while we had the chance… But we need to live life with no regrets anymore. Going to Japan sounds sooooo exciting! My sister’s boyfriend has been there before and he really loves it, so they’re probably going to go back at some stage. I’d really love to go there with them!
I’m so happy that your ex asked about your exam and that he replied as well! It’s so cute that he was sad when you didn’t reply to him straight away (not because I want him to be sad – just that he was thinking of you and when you would reply!). I think asking him out after your exam could be a good way to go. You could start on rebuilding an attraction. But it just depends. You never know what will happen in a few weeks. I know what you mean about not missing ‘US’ anymore. I missed the ‘US’ between me and my ex for a very long time. In fact, it’s only in the last couple of days that I’ve been able to see things clearer and not miss that so much. I still miss HIM but not the relationship that we had. I know see that is in the past. And even if we have another chance some time in the future (which I’m starting to think is less and less likely) it won’t be the same relationship. It will be a completely new one. A different US. I know that he doesn’t miss being with me. He told me he was heart broken because he had to break my heart, but not because we’re not together. When he said this, it really stung me. But now I can see where he was coming from. It still hurts some times and I feel like crying a bit occasionally, but I think I’ve finally managed to accept the fact that he’s not in my life anymore and won’t be anytime soon.
So I’m still not going to contact him for a few years. His brother’s birthday is in November so I will contact his brother then. If I ever hear that his relationship has broken up, I will not say anything. I feel like it is not my place and that it will just seem like I am bragging or trying to steal him back. At the moment, I’m not comfortable with talking to him – mostly because it seems like he doesn’t want to speak to me… But also because of his new girlfriend. It’s not fair to try to get him back from her. I know that I would be really upset if my new boyfriend’s ex was hassling him. But maybe after my couple of years NC we will have grown and I will see him just as a friend. Maybe I will still love him more than ever. We won’t know until all that time passes. I think so much could happen between now and then. We never really know. And true love will always find a way! Love you too Moonbunny. I hope you have a great day!! I’ve had a really good day today and now I can’t sleep at all zzzzzz.PS: I hope you’re okay Sri and Bangers <3
It’s so hard knowing that they’re out there living their lives and just not contacting us!! I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m a wee bit lucky because I know for sure that I have to give up on my ex for now. You guys are still not so sure whether you should give up or not, and I think that is the hardest part about break-ups and NC and loving someone with all your heart. But you are both strong and you will be able to get through this.Sorry!! I’ve just noticed that your username is Hangers, not Bangers. That little H really looks like a B :p
Scatteredtracks-All’s fair in love and war, so if there was any sign that he wanted you back, it’s okay to try to take him from her. Even though I realize that a lot of people are going to say take the high road and let their relationship play out. But he was yours first so you have every right to take him back. Tough if the new girl doesn’t like it. The whole idea that you are going to do NC for years and then see where you guys are at..the fact is most likely one of you will have kids, moved away or have settled down. And if one of you had a better relationship that left a lasting impact, this relationship will not be memorable even though it seems like it now. The intensity of the relationship fade away depending on the next person you both have a serious relationship with.
Sunshine can u help me?
I dont really know how to attract my ex
I feel so helpless sometimes
I dont know how to do itHi Sri I don’t know your story. Post a link and I will try to help you. I work for matchmaking companies to help singles find a great relationship so I know a lot about guys/girls!
Thanks sunshineflower. I know that you’re right deep down. But at the moment there is no way that my ex wants me back. I’m not expecting to hear from him in years either. Although I would still love to reconnect I know that it’s not the right time for us at the moment. We still need to do some healing and growing up.
I know that everything could change in the blink of an eye, so in two years absolutely everything will be different. But at the moment, this is the only way I can think to deal with everything that has been happening. I think, if my ex were to actually contact me, then I would reply to him. But I know that’s unlikely, so I’m just saying that I’m not going to contact him for ___ amount of time. Idk if my feelings for him will change in that time… they probably will but that may be a good thing. If he is really the one for me, then I will still feel the urge to re connect with him so far in the future. He may find someone perfect for him, and if he does I will be happy for him, and I won’t burden him with having to talk to me and relive his past or anything.
Maybe one day soon I will change my mind and feel like speaking to him again. I just don’t want to push him away any more than I already have. It feels as though he hates me, and doesn’t even want to talk to me in a few years. I made a fool of myself and asked him for a hug. Although he didn’t flat out say no, he just made a ehhhh sort of sound like ‘Would that really be right?’ But I still felt really pathetic that I actually asked and I was crying.
If everything changes then there’s nothing that I can do. Hopefully if he has kids or settles down with someone else, that will be enough time for me to heal and get over him completely. But I believe that if he is really the one for me, then we will be able to reconnect when we are both ready. I don’t know if he will have kids, or get married because that’s not really what he wants and he is still really young. But idk.
I do agree with what you said, but at the moment this just seems like my easiest way of dealing with it. I say that I’m not going to talk to him for years but the truth is I will probably say happy birthday to him & everything. May even try to reconnect with him then. We will see!! But I think for now, I am okay with not being together. I’m becoming more happy with myself and my life is very exciting at the moment. For now, my No Contact is for a few years but I may reduce that and contact him when I feel ready. If we both have relationships that make more of an impact than that one, then I think that’s just life and it will mean that we were clearly not meant to be. I don’t think that my ex would ever just forget about me… We had so much time together and it was really strong. Those feelings will definitely fade in a few years, but that’s kind of what I want because I don’t want to feel so emotionally connected to him when I try to re-establish a relationship with him (whether it’s a romantic or platonic one).
Deep down I still hope that he will contact me and be feeling down or something and need my support. But I can’t focus on things like that or wish for them – because they may not happen. At the moment, the healthiest option for me is to move on with me life and try not to worry about what he is doing. If he comes back, then that will be great. And if not, then hopefully I will okay with that too.
But I really appreciate your advice and it has definitely given me something to think about. I don’t think that I won’t contact him for YEARS that’s a bit of an overstatement on my part. I’m just going to leave it the longest possible time so that I don’t push him further away. Hopefully he will miss me eventually and will try to reconnect with me. I hope that makes sense?ahh I’m so sorry @scatteredtracks! It’s been so long since I’ve been here :/ How have you been doing babe? 🙂 I’m missing him a bit today :/ Although I don’t hope as much anymore but I guess I’m kinda moving in the right direction? Not 100% sure but for sure it’s not 100% the wrong direction either. Yeah I also got a feeling that maybe after a few years only will me and him really reconnect with each other. We just won’t know the future right? And how we truly fell for them in that time.
I guess the best think we can do now is move on with our lives. I’m glad that you’re finally living your life for yourself too babe <3 And I really hope that we could travel together someday maybe when I can afford it! But I am living at the other part of the world from you probably! I live in Asia D: But we can still plan hehe 🙂 I still cannot find sri btw I don’t know why.. TT
Somehow I just know one thing, if I have the choice, I would choose to fight for us one more time. Because that way I can move on knowing I’ve tried my best. But then it seems like it’s best to leave it like this too. :/ At least me and my ex are somehow still in talking terms? :/ I just don’t want to linger around hurting myself anymore anyway! Even if we love them wholeheartedly and would be willing to fight for us everytime, it doesn’t mean tat they would do the same. Somehow, I hope someday we’ll find someone with the same heart as us. Who won’t give up. it may be them after a few years or even someone else that proves to us why they didn’t work out. I believe it we stay positive, better things will be coming our way <3 I’m gonna come here less now but I’m still always happy yo talk to you babe <3
Sri – Aww girl. I feel the best thing you can do now is not focus on him but yourself. Focus on being the better you, focus on being an independent who don’t need a man. If you’re feeling that you really NEED him in your life, that means it’s not a healthy relationship. As least it’s not gonna be in the long term. We need to be WHOLE first to be with someone else. You may feel like he’s your ‘other half’ but in reality we humans, are alone afterall. And another human being won’t make us COMPLETE but they will definitely make our lives better and inspire us for a better future. But if you”re feeling like you’re so empty without him then you definitely need to learn to pick yourself up first BABE. Sorry for being honestly but this will help you in the LONG RUN. We need to learn to be okay alone. That’s when they will come back, it they’re all true loves. Stop focusing on trying to attract him because love don’t work that way.. when you’re feeling better inside, you’ll know what I mean. Stay strong girl! I’m here for you! 🙂
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