Is feeling like you should give up normal?

helloo @scatteredtracks! I’m back haha! Took a one day break from here 😉 Oh no don’t worry you are not hindering my process at all! Honestly, I always enjoyed talking to you it just feels like you’re my best friend online and a sister across the globe <3 It sucks that I have no one that would be willing to be there for me , I mean I literally have no best friends.. only some close friends . :/ So I’m always glad to share everything with you and also hear you out! <3

Yeah we are in the same case here alright! Things are slowly getting better then suddenly it turns upside down LOL. I guess it’s just that it take a lot of effort to keep a relationship. A long term relationship needs a lot of effort from both sides. Sometimes some misunderstandings may happen and worsen as it accumulates more and more. I bet for the reason why the relationship ended, it isn’t just completely their fault, we play a part too. But the thing is we only start to see things more clearly and what should be done instead AFTER it ENDED. It’s all because love doesn’t come with instructions anyway :/

For me, I’ve realised a lot of things now that I didn’t realise earlier. I was putting too much effort, I was fighting too hard because I’m afraid of losing him. Then I end up not loving myself at all because I start living for him. He was focusing to enjoy every part of his life while I focus on him :/ That’s how he lose his attraction for me :/ But as a boyfriend, he didn’t hear hard enough, what my heart really think. I was depressed that time, I was stressed out with life, all my friends LEFT me.. I was in a dark spot of my life and to me that time, he was my only motivation. But he didn’t realise it in this way.All he thought is I was depending on him too much and ‘suffocating’ him :/ I mean I was there for him, I was there for him EVERYTIME. I ended up being ‘TOO AVAILABLE’ . I forgot to live for myself and chase my dreams. But I finally see things clearly now. But it was too late.

Came to think of it, no matter what happen to me and him in the future. This parting (temporary or not) is necessary for both of us. As it make me find my own true self again, love myself again and start to live for myself again. I bet he also realised a lot of things he didn’t realise earlier. He too agreed that we had so many good times together. I hope this distance will make him mature too . I know that he’s just like me, on the outside we’re always cheerful and happy, always trying to make people laugh, but deep down we over think everything, we felt that no one really know us , we’re lonely on the inside.. that’s what we both used to thought.. that in this big , creepy world, we’re glad that we’re not alone because we have each other. Because we truly know each other. He had let me see his most vulnerable sides too, I’ve seen every part of him and so does he.. it’s really a shame to give up. We have so much in common.. I bet he still feel the same inside, it’s just those fogs blocking the way. I’m not desperate to get back with him anymore because I know if it’s meant to be then it will be, nomatter what the consequences is.

Just like your ex too, he thought that it’s the right thing to do. He thought that he’s moving on the right way now. His mind is crowded with the thought of ‘why you both ended’ and temporally forgot all the good times. I’m sure one day he’ll start to realise. That his first love, will always be the purest of all, the most genuine kind of love. Me and my ex were still teenagers when we first started being together. When we love , we just.. really love every part of each other. We never judge each other by our family background,income,beliefs or stuffs like that. We just love genuinely. I bet it’s the same for you and your ex too. Someday he’ll surely look back and realise. They say sometimes some exs need to experiences other parts of their lives, that they thought are better without us, to realise they still love us. But its not like we’re always gonna wait for them. But if’s it’s fated, then fate will bring two people together again nomatter how much time it takes. Sometimes it would only happen even we date other people , who knows?

The best solution is to continue moving on with our lives. Live for ourselves . I bet as we proceed we’ll surely start to see things more clearly. Thinking back we’re always so much better than when we just broke up right? 🙂 So yeah we’re definitely making progress! <3 I’m glad that we’re in this together! I feel like I just made a lecture hahaha sorry babe! But I’m happy that it will motivate you even just abit! 😀

Oh and don’t worry too much of him babe! Just let him live his live that he thought is better and start living for yourself! As we start really doing that better things will come I promise <3 I’ve become a more positive person now too! No longer suffering with depression of any kind 🙂 But I still think a lot tho, I still care a lot, as I’m an emotional person haha. Good luck on your saving! <3 Yeah time will tell if you will contact him, he may even contact you too! Just like my case , my ex just text me yesterday again asking me about my exam!I only told him about the date but he mentioned about the exact day :p That means he checked his calender for me ? lol ! This only happen when I really stop worrying that much! I just finally start living for myself I guess 🙂 So yeah it’s still a roller coaster but as long as we’re slowly adapted to the new mindset things will eventually get better and better 🙂

Oh anyway Kevin haven’t reply my email.. I will send one again right now! :/ Okay back to my Biology ! Talk to you soon ! I promise I will be here more often now hehe. Take care <3

@sri I’m so sorry! But I don’t know why I cannot find you in FB T-T Maybe it’s just me… I haven’t updated my app as my phone storage is full.. 🙁 Anyway..how have you been lately? Hope you’re staying strong too ! <3 We’re always here for you. Hope to hear from you soon too! xx 🙂

Anyway I’ll type my reply again! 🙂

Hey hey it’s been awhile again! I’ve took some break of here because of my exam . How are you doing babe? I hope everything is going well. We just have to stay positive and have fate that things will work out eventually the way it should be. :* Anyway you are right! Your ex is obviously just moving on ‘physically’ , and I honestly don’t think that he achieved what you’ve achieved emotionally. Because for you and me, we’ve went through that ‘super devastated’ period, and we’ve learned to pick ourselves up from there , we’ve learned so much things on a new perspective and we’ve grown up for ourselves in so many ways :’) It’s a super tough roller coaster ride.. but always before we see rainbow , we have to go through storm.

So I’ve learned to accept the fact that, this separation, whether temporary or not is gonna benefit both of us. It’s funny why we humans always only start to realise so many things only when we are out of the situation . 🙁 That’s when we don’t let our emotional self control our true self. We’ll realise how stupid we are.. but at the end of the day, the conclusion is, only WE can save ourselves. And the hardest battle is not a battle with someone else but it’s a battle with our own self. But I’m glad that both you and me,have gotten so far together! :’) We’re still learning of course but we’re moving forward for sure <3

That day I’ve read a quote that breaks my heart : The difference is, I’ve actually poured my heart out trying to save US , and you just said ‘Sorry’.
Damn :/ This feeling is weird, sometimes I actually hate him for giving up on us, I mean man! we’ve build so much together.. we’ve been through so much.. we actually grew up together..how can you can cut of me from your life and treat me ( a person you’ve spent 3 years with) don’t exist at all? He was trying so hard to push me away. I knew it’s my fault loving him too much and that’s why it hurt so much for me. But that’s all in the past now, I’ve see things more clearly. I’m happy that we were once happy, I never regret fighting for us I really didn’t :’) Maybe after we experience other parts of our lives , we’ll eventually find each other again if we’re meant to be.

I seriously feel that your ex is just ‘covering’ himself up. He thought that was the only solution. And there’s still so many chance that it’s just a rebound. The thing is if he haven’t choose to be more mature internally, even if he eventually broke up with his new gf , and wanted to get back with you, maybe that time you won’t consider any more because you realise he doesn’t deserve you. He’s just acting like an immature kid. Also things may turn the other way round, and you both may end up finding each other again (the new you) and fall back in love, stronger than ever. But just like you told me, things will unfold naturally as time goes on. And we just have to continue loving ourselves, think positive and really start living life for ourselves. Life is too short to worry about stupid things, what is meant to be is meant to be. ‘ If two people are meant to be, they’ll always find their way back to each other , nomatter how far they’ve wandered. ‘ When we really start focusing on ourselves, that’s when positive things will happen! Funny but this is just how the universe works. God always answer prayers when we least expect it, he knows when we’re ready :p I guess it’s just a part of life we have to go through.

Argh the way your ex is acting all ‘stranger’ to you is just an act of an immature kid. He was so blinded that he thought he’s finally in an awesome stage in his life ,little did he know that the worst will come when his ‘honeymoon stage’ run off it’s course. 😛 Anyway..Did you reply to him? :O Oh andI have some updates with my ex! Before my exams, he messaged me and ask how was my preparation going on. We chatted a little and he even helped me with a maths question! He’s good in calculus so I ended up asking him for help. He end up asking me if I needed him to wake me up? Lol? I told him I may not even sleep,and he told me that I should and even a short nap will help a lot, based on his own experience. The next morning, I woke up early as I couldn’t really sleep anyways.. and HE CALLED ME! He asked if I had woken up , we chatted a bit, he gave me some exam tips, and he wished me all the best. And he told me his morning class ‘suddenly’ cancelled. He sounded.. so sexy being sleepy (haha ><) and he even called me by the name he called me when we were together! :’) After that I cut it off because I need to go prepare. He just sounded so sweet :/ And I really never thought that he will actually called, and I rethink and rethink because I thought it was just a dream XD Or maybe he was not sober? o.o But he doesn’t drink.. So after my exam I updated him about how it goes and he just reply me with a ‘like’ …and no chats after.. -_- LOL WHAT? IS this the so called hot and cold behaviour? :/

Anyway I’m confused, but I know what I should focus not so I’m not letting my mind wander too much. But I’m glad and really happy that he made an effort to wish me, and I’m already very happy with that 🙂 The weird thing is he changed one of his prof pic in social media to a one a took for him and uploaded a photo when we travel together? Maybe it doesn’t mean anything but maybe it’s just good to see that he went through his pictures.. I guess that means he went through our pictures? Maybe he does miss ‘Us’ .. or there’s actually no hidden meaning or whatsover hmmm ohh well WHATEVER 😛

Nomatter what I’m glad that I didn’t give upon myself and now I’m finally really moving forward :’) I hope you’re staying strong too babe! I hope to still chat with you always! ^^ Did you receive my email? 🙂