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Hey all,
I am into my no contact period for about 24 days now, i have been trying not to think about my ex and now i got to know that the reason behind the break up she is seeing someone else. Tmshe has been texting this guy aince before we broke up. And when she met this guy in person she wanted to break up with me after a 7 year long relationship and she has been chatting with him alot. She has applied for a transfer in a different city and a different job too just to be with that guy. I dont know why she is doing this she is feeling awesome on the other hand i feel pathetic. I feel betrayed as i have done nothing wrong and i have never betrayed her. Im working on improving myself but i don’t know how to react to this situation.
To be honest, that girl is a total b**ch for doing all of that. In my mind, this is called cheating. You deserve better, even if you don’t feel like you do.
My ex still wanted us to be (close) friends after the break-up, but I said I needed some time. I’ve just passed a month of no contact, don’t really know what to say to her. But if I found out she started a relationship like that, while we were together, I would probably say something that makes her feel bad about herself and wish her all the best in the future. And also never talk to her again, but that is just how I would react.
I don’t really know what to say, hopefully someone else can comment too.
How was your relation gping on with her? Were there any troubles? Or were you both leading a monotonous life?
Sometimes we get bored of a daily routine and want something new to spice up our lives. I am not taking any sides but its possible she is enjoying with this new guy because of the changes and because of the honeymoon stage they are having. But as soon as reality hits her hard, shes gonna realise what a terrible mistake she has done and will realise what you both had. 7 years are next to impossible to forget.
There is a chance you both didn’t had that honeymoon stage and intense make out and obviously you did everything together.I can bet she would be back. But its upto you if you will accept her or not. I would suggest you to stay in NC for 2more months.
Good luck for the future. 🙂
Can you look at my latest post?Actually our relationship was always in a long distanve relationship. First 4years were amazing as i did all the travelling to her . And used to visit her thrice every semester in college(engineering school=8 sems) . After that i came back to my hometown joined my famiky business. She went to some place stayed there for 6months in an internship met this guy she is fating at the moment .. she wanted to break up with me then only but i held it up and kept it alive she came back to our hometown .. we both live in same hometown . She joined a low scale job in our hometown.. but wasnt happy with it .. tried for other jobs was frustrated. Then she joined a puvlic sector unit and then we had ok time used to meet quite often but that job was also transferable.. then she moved to another city . And then we couldnt meet each other for even once a month was difficult sometimes. Then she had to go on a business tour to the same place where the guy she is dating right now was . They started chatting and all. I dont know more… Im trying to move on but i miss her and i have nobody real to talk to .. we were in an intense relationship and there was only marriage and kids were left to happen.. but then she told me that she is bored of me.. she told me thats “its not you its me” .. i feel terrible. But im moving on i miss her badly.. she knows herself that she is doing wrong .. but still she choses to do it . My last email to her was as below. ”
Dear ***,
Just wanted to drop off a small note to let you know that im completely okay with your decision to split up. Saw it coming for a while. I wanted to also let you know how sorry i am for acting like i did after the break up. It was totally disrespectful to you. I apologize that i hurt you.
Oh!some good news!i had a fantastic changr in fortune as i had got a few payments from my old projects in kashmir. Love to fill you in but in future. You and i both need some space right now for that matter i have cancelled your tickets to goa which i booked before our breakup to surprise you on valentines ( cancellation receipt attached).
I hope you are doing good with S***** and wish you all the success in future.
With best regards,
A****
Sent this mail yesterday,
I havnt got a reply yet.
Im feeling terrible inside..
I have planned on improving myself.
Plan 1 As kevin says get a hair cut.
Plan 2 gonna join gym .
plan 3 gonna start studying for MBA... BTW I GOT TO KNOW HER PLANS TOO .HER SISTER TOLD ME ALL THIS SHE WAS GUILTY FOR BEING RUDE TO ME BUT AFTER KNOWING THE FAXT SHE JUST WANTED TO TELL ME THAT YOU SHOULDNT WAIT FOR HER AND MOVE ON . MY EX GOT HER TRANSFER FOR TWO YEARS TO THE PLACE WHERE HER CURRENT MATE LIVES. SHE IS GONNA QUIT HER CURRENT JOB AND GONNA JOIN THE SAME COMPANY AS HIM. BUT THIS ALL DEPENDS UF SHE DOESNT GO TO STUDY MBA IN THE SAME PLACE AS I LIVE IN.
BTW IM FEELING TERRIBLE INSIDE. BUT I M GONNA FOCUS ON IMPROVING MYSELF AND LEAVE THE REST TO GOD.
HOW DO YOU SEE MY SITUATION NOW.
I wENT ON A DATE A FEW DAYS BACK WITH an old FRIEND JUST A CASUAL DINNER .. it was ok . I loved going out with my ex.
help me get her back i know she loves me too ..is it a rebound coz she knows this guy for 3years but this only triggered because i was depressed myself and couldnt keep her happy as i myseldf was not happy . I was screwed from all side. Faced huge losses in family business had troubles within family.. and always used to take out pent out frustration when i was with her she said sometimes that i dont like to do it at all any more.I was miserable. But now im gonna work things out. What if she comes back after 2months or an year or 2 .
Sorry this of this is too much too read .. help me please!
Continue to be in NC as it is your best shot left.
It is good for you and for the relation as well. All the bad memories will eventually fade away and most importantly it will help your healing.
And i qould suggest to stop talking to her sister or any mutual friends about her. The other guy might be her rebound or just an escape from her situation. You just need to do nc and heal from the break up.The way you describe it, she isn’t happy with herself. She won’t be happy with anything or anyone until she learned to be happy with herself, in each moment.
7 yrs won’t go away easily. And if she’s already moving to him and all that jazz.. it will (probably) fizzle out quickly. She’s not thinking long term, and she will in one way or another regret her actions and decisions in the future.
Relationships that last a long time become boring and routine. Attraction goes out the window because couples get too comfortable with each other. The result is more like being with a best friend than a lover/partner. Admittedly, there is a thin line.
I was with my ex for about 9yrs. She was miserable with herself, and it trickled into our relationship. I’ve read her journal (which was wrong) but she wrote about how much she doesn’t know herself..how much she unhappy with herself. She thought that she could become happier and know herself better without me. She went through two rebounds, and it’s been 9 or so months and she now wants me back. She just told me that she feels more like herself when she is with me, and that she regrets ever letting anyone else touch her in a sexual way. She’s even been hinting at possible marriage and children. lol
My point in telling you all of that is, that long term relationships just don’t disappear. She will re-visit it in the future. You should just work on being happy and getting over her. It wasn’t until I got over her, that I was able to get her back.
And if you feel really betrayed, you’ll want to take plenty of time to heal from that. If she comes back, and you’re not healed, it won’t work out.
I feel really betrayed. I have sent her the email didnt get any reply . So I have transferred the money i owed her. And i feel a bit relieved now.
Now im planning to focus on myself. But i still miss her i dont know what to do .. while she is enjoying her life with this new mate .. what do i do to take my mind off her.. its a pain to see her chatting with other dudes. i can only be silent .. while she has time of her life. When i broke up i sent her a mail that “you are the only one i want ” and she replied that she herself cannot be trusted and i deserve a lot better and i feel find someone much better and shit..
After all that im still trying to be happy and cheered up in front of my friendsbut deep inside im hurt im hurt real bad.. i have nothing but to grieve about this as it was my first love and i got cheated.
Help me people. Im burning inside.
Got this reply from my ex.
Dear Aman,
Thanks for cancelling the tickets, it felt like a bit of pressure.I’m so glad that you’re coming around so well, especially with your work. Yes, some space and time would do both of us a lot of good. Really proud of the mature person you have become.
Hope you do better each day, you never fail to amaze! 🙂
My best wishes and prayers are with you.
Monika
For how long yoi both have been split?
I guess not much time has passed. She is somehow okay woth the decision of break up.
I would suggest you to do NC again.It’s exactly a 32 days after the split up.
I’m in ncp. I havnt contacted her just sent her the mail posted above got her reply. She is seeing someone I’m not sure about it .. She wants to move to a far awa. Where her current mate is . I’m feeling very bad .. I want to know the complete story whether or not she has betrayed me or not .. I’m so confused about all this. Please help
As I’m writing this post I m just moving all the stuff she ever gave me or we ever shared. I’m feeling pathetic. I have started hookong up with ****s just to get over this pain .. but still I’m back to the square one .. I miss her very much
U gotta be more strong and feel positive about the situation. Think like this is just an investment for a brighter tomorrow. The love you both shared is impossible to go. Believe in yourself and have faith in got. Heal yourself from this pain and you will feel much much better then.
Hey guys,
I spoke to her on 27th Feb she was really weird.I asked her that what do you mean when you said “I never had trust issues with you but I’m the one who cannot be trusted” . To that question she got really angry and she said that she doesn’t wanna say it out aloud and she doesn’t owe me anything and she also said that I’m not alone.. she has broken my heart and today she is leaving to a really far off place where her new job and new boyfriend May be waiting .. I have nothing just to think about Her. I really love her and I have always cared about her. I’m sure she must be having fun but I don’t know if she will ever think about me or not . I’m trying to pass my lonely time with friends And I’m taking vacation soon.
Guys I really need to get her out of my head . She has really freaked me out. She didn’t even meet me once after the break up.
She is horrible I feel really bad because of her.My story is similar to urs. my gf and i were fine one day we had fun at the casino we had a great day. The next day she just said it was better if we just took our own path. I never expected that. I felt crushed, horrible she showed no emotions just i can give you a hug if you want. Its been a month since she broke up with me and i feel miserable. I’ve done NC for 9 days it’s horrible. Deep down i feel like she left with someone else. Just like ur gf did. Mine did pretty much the exact same thing And left me alone with this pain 🙁
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