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I definitely do not think that he doesnt mind seeing you with other guys – it would definitely bother him!!! Men are stubborn creatures and your husband for sure has his defenses up right now. When you say he is hurt, it also means he loves you very much otherwise he just wouldnt care at all. I think for right now, let him come to you. Don’t text him unless it’s something important about your children and no matter what, ALWAYS treat him nicely. It might mean that he will take longer to come back, but in that way, it may not be as rough a journey for you. If he’s at the house, and wants to speak to you, just speak with him. If you feel like you cant, kindly let him know that you’re very busy and would prefer if he could come by the next day or if you can give him a call later. Don’t hide in your room, show him whose boss!!
Hey aamls.. I think you should wait for someyime and see where does it go and then act normally.
Keep up the NC but dont ignore him as well.
If NC doesn’t work then try to create a false friendship.
But I think you should give NC to work and till then try to improve yourself.
Btw, guys are like that only. They can distract themselves very well. But that doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything.thanks cassie. 🙂 so should he see me with other guys meaning letting him know I moved on or should i just try to move on in the mean time? meaning, should I start trying to date other guys? im very hurt and confused, why are his defenses so up still? I think he keeps busy with stupid females. 🙁 also I was saying I was very busy the other day and he wouldnt understand that till he left I guess. ugh. my husband is one of the most stubborn people i know. ugh. I dont look for him at all, im letting him be, but this hurts very badly. I hope your right cassie when saying it’ll take him longer to come back but I highly see this happening. 🙁 I feel so horrible with my youngest birthday coming up and with all the holidays. 🙁 Idk how im going to make it through. 🙁 :'( he sent me a text saying: hey would you mind picking up money again today? I havent responded yet but I was thinking of not responding. this is so painful. I dont want to seal with him anymore, this is so painful. what should I do and should I reply? what should I say to him? is it still to soon to try to be friends with him? I wanna be friends with him so I can try to get close to him again, but im not sure what to do or think or how I should go about doing this. @cassie @divjun @a.z. anyone?
I was thinking of responding with please have money ready for when I get there it’d be ready. thanks does this sound good? last time he had to go to the atm and I had to deal with him for a few. this way I get the money and go. why is he avoiding coming to give me the money? and he hasnt spoken to his mother in a few days I think. he doesnt even talk to her about how he feels. 🙁 im so so hurt by all of this. what do ya think?
thanks for replying divjun. 🙂 how do I keep no contact but not ignore him? no contact is only working as calming him down some and not going all crazy all of a sudden but Im not sure how I can create a false friendship with him, because last time I mention the gym he didnt say anything and i think hes trying to avoid being close with me especially if hes talking to other females. im some what in between no contact and false friendship but know he still has his defenses way hi still. idk what to do anymore. what do you think of the other things I wrote about. thanks for your reply. 🙂 do you think after him saying that to my oldest that i still have a chance at getting him back? or do you think I should move on. the other day seem like he was reaching out to me and now everything fell all over again. ugh. what do you think? thanks
You dont need to date a guy just to show him your moving on.
Do whatever makes you happy. If u wanna date then date.
And to be honest, my bf told everyone that he doesnt wants to be with me. He likes being single and stuff lik that. You know what happened. So take a chill pill.
Its all okay.
And dont try to avoid him in front of him. Just be normal. Dont be afraid to face him. Play it cool. Dont initiate any conversation or meeting. And when he texts you , if u wanna reply then reply late as if you were busy doing something else.thanks divjun. my husband seems to be very angry with me apparently. hmmm, I hope your right about what your saying on my behalf. :-/ I hope its like @cassie said and its just taking him a little longer. I was thinking of going to his job dressing up really cute to make him even more jealous, but im not sure yet. lol I need to go but me cute clothes. especially since im trying to lose weight. if he sees me looking cute he hopefully will get jealous but who knows. he keeps going to the gym a lot, ugh trying to make himself look good. I hate that. im not sure what to text him yet, but thats what im doing texting him later so he thinks im busy. thing being he responds right away some times and he when he tells me to go to his job he always wants me to let him know ahead of time, probably so he can tell his stupid little girlfriend to hide or something. ugh this is so hard and difficult. 🙁 dont know what to do anymore. ugh 🙁
Even if he is with someone else, she cant take your place. You are the mother of his children. You are love of his life and thats whybhe married you after 6 years of relatiinship.
As I said dont try to show anything to him. But yes, dont act like tou really want to get his attention.
Just sit back and relax. Its all going to be okay.
I would suggest you to join some hobby class or something like that so that you could keep yourself and distract ur mind from him.thanks divjun. maybe he is in a rebound and doesnt want me to know about it which is why hes acting that way. I just hate when he try to talk to me about issues its stressful and sometimes hurtful I would prefer text or email to be honest. ugh this is so hard. yes im going to have to start doing something. now im gonna go for my walk and then get dressed. im not sure what I should reply to him. ugh. but what your saying is when hes around keep acting normal like nothing is bothering me. thing being we would always say things like that a while ago about we werent gonna be together and now hes sticking to it. ugh. im gonna try to keep myself busy though, well try to anyways. anyone?
do ya think I should text him back? what should I say and what should I do when I see him? I wonder why he cant come to drop it off and leave. I hate this every time I think of him anything to do with him or confronting him it stresses me out. I hate this. Idk anymore. ugh 🙁
It sounds to me like he’s walking all over you. You don’t deserve it and you need to be strong. Let him know you need some space and basically just keep your visits to just whatever the kids need with minimal communication. Think about what it is that YOU want..whether it be friends or seeing if you can rekindle something or just nothing at all. It sounds like a really unfortunate situation, but just remember you are an AMAZING person and deserve only the best. I am sure he knows that and is feeling deep pain for what is happening and that is why he is acting all weird. I am sure he will come to his senses at some point (maybe he’s going through a mid life crisis or something). At that point it will bee on you what you’d like to do and that is a great feeling. You are strong and a wonderful person. Don’t let any guy or anyone let you believe any differently. Try to get as much space as you can without scraficing the kids. And be a happy person! You deserve it!
@tarbox thanks for replying. 🙂 thanks for your nice words. 🙂 I really dont feel this way though at all. how do you thinking hes walking all over me? also he texted me yes or no after not responding to his first text and then he called and left me a voice mail saying my name and that he needed to know if I was gonna be able to go get the money because he didnt want to carry that much money on him. should I go get the money or make him bring it. I was actually thinking after your text of telling him to bring the money and stating the time he would come( this way I know when hes coming and I can leave and not be here when he comes.) im very confused as to what I should do. Im so depressed and confused. ugh thanks
btw do any of you guys think I still have a chance at getting him back. (he of course acts nice, but like kevins messages have been saying has his defenses up) how can I get him to drop those. I was also thinking of going to his job to get the money and saying something like thanks. hopefully we could hang out soon or something like that. is this a good thing or bad thing? anyone? thanks
whether you feel that way or not, it is the truth…:) Perhaps walking all over you was an incorrect term..I think I meant more playing head games. Who knows whether it’s intentional or unintentional. It’s obvious he still cares in some way. Sometimes us guys do really stupid things and don’t even realize it till much later down the road. Not saying it it, but perhaps that is what is happening here. No way to knwo for sure i suppose..
thanks I appreciate that as im very depressed. :-(hmm idk what hes doing but its very hurtful. 🙁 im gonna go to his job to go get the money, not that I want to but unfortunately I need it. 🙁 I see what your saying. I feel like im at a lost cost. do you think asking him to hang out is a bad idea? I may just get the money and leave. im gonna be leaving shortly. ugh..wish me luck. 🙁
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