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So I have come to the conclusion that I am steadily on my way to “just a friend” in my exes eyes. We broke up 6 months ago, she has been on and off with a guy for about the whole time, dating officially since late January. They seem like a rebound but still I think I am done with being just a friend.
The breaking point was last night, we both went to a party that our friend was hosting, knew just about everyone there. I was driving them home so I wasn’t drinking but she got pretty bad. First off, she was very touchy, affectionate and tried to kiss me multiple times on the cheek. She also kept coming up to me and starting conversations and very blatantly checking me out, both before and after she got drunk.
The real kicker was when I went to drop them off though. Of the 3 people I brought back my ex and one other girl got sick. I ended up staying there an extra 2 hours to help my ex drink some water, get cleaned up and into bed, and I realized why the hell am I doing this? I am putting in the work for my ex while all she wants to do is text and call her new bf. So I decided to text her today and tell her I think we should distance ourselves and end the friendship. I can’t say for sure if she has feelings or not, if she wants to try again in the future but for now this is way too much effort doing what her boyfriend should be doing and honestly by putting in this much work I am making their relationship work better, I provide what he doesn’t and helps them run more smoothly.
Anyone have an opinions? I am pretty sure it’s a hopeless cause by this point but still, I do want to try again and I’m kind of floundering lately.
Update, she is now claiming to have moved on completely from me and is happy with her new boyfriend. Honestly idk what else to do by this point and I am sounding desperate by asking but I could really use some help, support, etc. I think she is lying to some degree but I am not sure and I am really kind of struggling lately. She has basically said she has no feelings but acts like she does at times and I am just lost.
It sounds like she wants you back, but doesn’t know how to initiate it. You should probably confront her about it and see what she says in return.
Or
You can just tell her that it’s too early to be friends and distance yourself. She will probably wonder what happened and eventually contact you again for reconciliation after her current relationship rides out.
She still likes you man no doubt about it!
Do NC, then meet up and see what happens
Sounds good everyone, thanks for the advice. Yeah, my friends suspect similar, that she isn’t over me. I also am thinking part of the way she talked to me is her new bf, her texts did not sound like her(different grammar, sentence structure and spelling) I know it sounds like a bit of a reach but after 3 years of texting almost every day I am very good at recognizing how she texts and the messages seemed off. Anyways, I am doing great with NC surprisingly, a lot better than I thought I would be.
Ironically, a girl I used to have a bit of a crush on years ago messaged me Monday night and we had a very nice conversation, which was a good way to take my mind off things.
The only news I can share about my ex is that despite being “perfectly ok with never talking again” she has not blocked or removed me on anything and has actually been liking comments and such on Facebook still, which seems odd considering she claimed she was done interacting with me. My plan remains the same though, go NC for a while, probably until after this semester ends and she is home from college for break. In the meantime I will hopefully be able to go on a few dates and do some of my own things. I also really want to start working out, I had planned to earlier but due to school and work obligations hadn’t had much of a chance. Thanks again to anyone that gave me advice and if anyone has other opinions on my situation or just feels like talking about their own situation feel free to comment.
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