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mrcat,
you will not stop healing until you stop over analyzing. i know this is easier said than done, but nothing you said or didn’t say in that conversation will have any impact on whether or not you reconcile in the future. right now she needs time and space and you need to work on you. the only way to have a successful reconciliation is to start a brand new relationship. the old one is over and you both need to heal and move on from it. if you keep thinking about and over analyzing the past it wont do anything for you. whats said is said and whats done is done. put it to rest. focus on what you can do to be happy today. what helps me is writing down 5 things everyday that i still have that make me happy – sometimes these things can be as small as a good meal or as big as having great friends. don’t dwell on your last conversation with her. it will do absolutely nothing for you right now.@Atea1234 I know I’m just so angry at myself right now. I don’t know what else to think or do, this feels horrible. I feel completely lost, I can’t concentrate on anything right now. I keep torturing myself by checking her page and all it’s doing is hurting me, but I can’t help it. I don’t know what it’s going to take for me to get over her this is truly one of my most difficult times. Only 4 days of NC, and 3 weeks since the break up, and I just feel numb.
MrCat,
Do not break NC at this point. I just did, and nothing changed and I feel like I’m back to square one. Nothing we say will change our ex’s mind right now. I was with her for 5 years and she broke up with me about a week ago. Delete her off Facebook and twitter and all that. Seeing her face makes it hard, I know it does for me at least.Mrcat,
for starters, delete her on all social media: twitter, instagram, facebook, snapchat, etc. it was the best thing i did. it was too painful to see pictures of him looking content. i even removed some of our mutual friends who i know still see him a lot. its hard to do but it helps.also you need to be patient. when i was in the first month or two out of my break up people kept telling me “time heals all wounds” and i thought it was bs. but i can tell you its so so true. I’m almost 5 months out to the exact date and it gets SO much better. right now you can’t be angry at yourself. you need to be good to yourself. treat yourself. exercise, take long showers, watch a good move, read a good book, treat yourself to good food. let yourself cry about it and force yourself to go outside (even if for a few minutes everyday) just to take a walk or get a cup of coffee. unfortunately theres no magic cure. you just kind of have to get through the worst of it. you will!
I just sent her a message telling her I accept the break up. That’s it, I’m on full on NC from now on.
I will not contact her again for an extended period of time but was that text a mistake? I just wanted to rewrite my wrongs.
Mrcat,
I think the message was unnecessary. You already called her and discussed the break up two days earlier. I don’t think it showed her you accepted it – if you did there would be no need to reach out. But you seriously need to stop over analyzing everything. This message won’t have an impact on whether or not you reconcile down the line but what you’re doing now is dragging the break up out. Let it go.Also give yourself small Nc goals to start. It’s extremely difficult. I used to go 2-3 weeks at most before breaking down. I’ve sent all kinds of messages and I don’t really think it will change what happens in the future but I honestly think it’s delayed this whole process. If I had stopped speaking to my ex five months ago when the break up initially happened I probably would’ve been way more moved on and we might have even already been back together by now.
Let it go. Do not message her again. You aren’t together and she doesn’t have to respond to you. That message doesn’t warrant a response. Try to go 30 days before you set yourself crazy long goals. Stop bringing up the past and asking if what you did was “wrong”. The whole process isn’t linear – it’s two steps forward and then one back. But you need to stop obsessing over what will hurt your chances and just focus on what you can do to get over it, be you, and be happy. You can’t plan or predict what will happen a few months from now so there’s no reason to obsess over it right now.
Yea I’m not messaging her again. I’m done talking to her, it’s over. I just needed to leave the impression that I was a strong minded individual, I was rethinking my convo with her and I think I sounded more desperate than I thought. But it’s OK, since the break up I’ve only texted her twice, and we broke up almost a month ago on the 6th of February. It stops here, time for NC.
Don’t feel sooo bad. I did the same thing and I realized it was a mistake as soon as I hit the send button. I did it because well I was on day 3. And on day 3 he texted me. I got sooo excited and I was like yes this it working. I am a considerate person and I wanted to let him know I was needing space but the instructions even tho I read them a thousand times they say only tell them you need space if they are CALLING YOU OR TEXTING YOU LIKE EVERYDAY. He only texted once and like an idiot I was like I need spaace for a while…. but when I think about it he never said we were thru he just confined me to text him about our issues and he wouldn’t pick up the phone.
He never said we were thru but he did ignore my requests to call ever since last Fri… I think its childish for us not to talk this out.. But that’s him. He’s inconsiderate to me by not talking to me over the phone. But I was concerned about his feelings that I told him I need space. Which I shouldn’t have..Because that was the moment he texted me when I went missing for 2days. and then I made contact on day 3 retracted via text and said idk.. do you think you need space. Then I went sappy I told him I missed his voice. He still wanted to text stubborn messages instead of working things out. So I’m done being confined to texting it out rather than talking it out like adults r suppose to
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