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Hi,
I need someone’s opinion on my situation.
Me and my ex have a huge history, but in short.
We were together for almost a year. We had a great relationship, well I though. We never fought and we did not even argue. Well, he broke up with me in March saying that he’s not ready for a serious relationship and that he wants to be alone.
I applied NC rule and it worked. After a month and a half we were back together.
Everything was going great, he was even talking about moving in together and stuffs like that.
Well, on 21 of May we broke up. But it was kind of weird, he was drunk and he almost did not say anything. Week after I called him if it’s the end and he said yes. I was devastated and then I discovered that he was already with someone else. That he was texting with this girl for like a three weeks and they slept together the next day we broke up.
I have not speak with him since that day.So.. Yeah.. That’s my story. I guess that most of the answers will be to move on and forget about him. But it’s really hard.
And his birthday is in a week. Should I wish him a happy birthday? I don’t know. For me it’s normal to wish him or anybody else. But obviously he does not want me in his life. He’s probably with that other girl and they will spend the day together.
I don’t know.And other question. What if she’s just a rebound? What am I supposed to do?
I know the basic stuffs, like focus on myself, try to move on.
Should I wait for they break up? I want him to be happy, but I also still love him. I don’t even know if they are still together but I think so..Thanks for your answers. Or just some encouragement or something.
We know it’s hard. It’s the worst feeling ever. You thought he had loved you and wanted to be by your side and then such thing had happened.
You cannot do anything right now. You need to give yourself some time to grieve and to start thinking rationally.
Do not wish him a happy birthday. He broke up with you. He broke your heart. Respect yourself. Do no contact for now. If he won’t contact you after a significant period of time, then continue no contact and continue regeneration. If he will, be cool. Do not become his safety net in the future.
Take it easy, focus on yourself and other things than your ex and try to find joy in your life. There is a high chance it’s a rebound, but you cannot obsess over them. Focus now on regaining composure.
Take a notebook or a piece of paper and write about your feelings. Do it from time to time and you’ll feel a lot better.
Thanks for your reply.
Some days it’s better but then some memory come through my mind and it’s worse again.
I am trying to be happy, enjoy my life and be the best version of myself.
But I don’t know how to stop thinking about him. Like I am not thinking about the other girl and their relationship.
But I still see him in every little thing in my life.
And I don’t know anything about his life.
It’s hard.Yes, that’s the most interesting thing about grieving in my opinion – that it comes in waves.
Sometimes you feel super confident, you feel like you are finally okay, you’ll be fine and you don’t care anymore or care less, and then comes this immense wave of sadness and memories, you’re mind is again obsessed about her, about your mistakes and about what you could have done better to save this relationship.But time heals. Those days will become weeks and then months. Soon those waves will become calmer – your mind will adapt and those waves of sadness will become smaller, will not feel so destructive and they will last shorter and then they’ll just fade away.
I am certain you are doing very well. But know that you still need time and regeneration. You accepted the breakup and acknowledged why it had happened, but you cannot even imagine your partner being with anybody else than you – my ex didn’t fell into some kind of rebound, but I felt the same you do now. The best way to fight that is to get your mind occupied or write down somewhere how you feel.
Trust me, soon you’ll adapt to this situation – but don’t obsess over him and never ever hide your emotions. Let them out. And I advise you to spend some time with your friends and family – it was the best aid for me.
It’s going to be alright.
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