Boards Reconciliation I need advice/help

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  • #108146
    Gman
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 1

    My fiance left me a week ago today. We have been together for 4 years. She moved all of her stuff out and doesn’t want to talk to me. She said she wanted to breakup because she felt that we had problems that she didn’t know if we could fix. Most of them stem from her not talking to me if something was bothering her. I asked her if this is what she really wanted and she said no but she thought it might be for the best. I of course reacted the first week, texting, telling her I’d work on whatever she needed me to. I sent her flowers on Saturday. She was reading my texts but no longer responding. I’m now not trying to contact her. I’m terrified that she isn’t going to give me another chance. I’m scared that she doesn’t miss me and has already forgotten about me. I’m unsure what I should do from this point forward. Her birthday is a week from tomorrow. Do I send her flowers and tell her Happy Birthday or do I maintain radio silence? We have spent the last 4 years of our lives together, and she’s never been with anybody as long as she has been with me. I don’t know what to do and I feel like I’m dying and going crazy at the same time. Any advice would be helpful.

    #108976
    skatedeck
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 18

    No flowers! Text her, Happy Birthday, I hope you’ve been well. That’s it! Then back to no contact for at least 30 days! I relate very closely, I understand the transistion is tough but until the bad memories fade, even the sweetest action feels like harassment to her! Don’t talk to her right now it’s a crtical time where you can only make mistakes in her eyes

    #109008
    jj2018
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 33

    I say go NC, and although I get why you would want to text and wish a happy birthday I would say stay silent. where we go wrong is when we think the opposite of love is hate. the opposite of love is indifference. Go no contact and spend time with yourself, family and friends. Spend at least a month away. STOP sending gifts altogether. Gain some perspective. I know it’s hard but it will be better once you see things from the outside. Good luck! keep us posted!

    PS: if you do decide to text her on her birthday, keep it short, go straight to the point and DO NOT try to force the conversation further. She obviously wants her space.

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