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I’m honestly here for support. It’s nobody’s fault but mine really, I made every mistake in the book. But I’ve never felt worse in my whole life. Anything you say would be amazing right now.
I sent the elephant in the room text after 18 days, probably should have waited longer. I thought I was ready just because I was feeling a bit better, and had made a lot of changes. Not just over those 18 days, but over the course of 2 1/2 months. The 18 days just helped me put it in perspective I guess.
I messaged her, waited 5 days with no response. Reached out again, told her I wanted to explain myself, got a response. We exchanged messages for an hour. It was pretty rough.
She said she had concerns about our future whether it be in the next week, month or year. That we would never be the same as before. I told her “We were never gonna walk back into eachothers lives and be bestfriends, but it gets better”. She said “I guess we’ll see what happens”, and that was it.
I messaged her “Hey” the next day like an idiot. I had no clue yet that I was still needy as hell. She just deleted me on snapchat after that, and I ended up sending a long goodbye text last night, to no response.
I made a lot of mistakes. I never found this website until 1 1/2 months into the breakup, and during that time I was very needy and desperate. I even convinced her to block me on Facebook and Instagram, I was in pain and scared.
I found this site, began a new approach, but it’s like she’s a different person. I feel very hopeless, sad and tired.
My advice, take at least the full 30 days, don’t overlook the healing process just because you THINK you’re doing better, and do follow the texting guidelines.
I undid all my progress, because I was inpatient and afraid. I lost a woman who a week before we broke up, told me she already knew the names of our future children.
Things can go to hell quite quickly if you’re not in control of yourself.We are all here for you and we all feel your pain. I too made mistakes. I was angry at her for months before I finally changed my attitude. Even then it took months of feeling like making progress only to suffer setbacks and learning from mistakes to get to a point where I feel we can slowly build things again.
You can’t just think you are doing better. You have to feel it too and it will take time. There are still days where I scream into the wind over what she did but it is better than a few months ago.
My advice is take more than the 30 days and focus on yourself. Go join a gym, trust me it helps.
If you ever feel suicidal again, get counseling immediately. You’re still behaving in a needy way and it will take time to regain your composure. When does she finish college? Are you still holding onto your carpentry job? Do you have plans to move out of your parents place and get your own apartment or house?
In my opinion, sending the long goodbye text last night was your way to gain her sympathy and a pitiful way to nudge her into more conversation. You sent the elephant in the room and then contacted her wanting to explain yourself. You’ve done enough and you need to stop these behaviors! Sorry, but I think she needs a break from your neediness for awhile. Try to be strong and resist any temptations to contact her.
Continue no contact (like gamecoder said) and don’t use the days after July 7th (one year dating anniversary) as an excuse to contact her. The best case scenario would be to wait until she initiates contact with you. And then respond appropriately without saying anything that resembles neediness. Get busy with other things to distract your obsessive thoughts.
I’ve been lifting weights since about 2 months after the break up, I’ve made tremendous progress. I ended up getting life insurance, putting aside $350 a week so I could move out. To be honest, I feel I’m in no shape emotionally to be myself right now. So the plans of getting an apartment have been moved back.
I’ve been obsessively organizing my closet, room, files, among other things. I’ve kept my carpentry job, currently working. As for her, she has 2 years of college left I believe.
I’ve tried to stay busy, I just feel overwhelmed. But I’m at my brother’s today, and trying to open up about what I’m going through.Glad you’re still working, keep going with that, and strive to be the best employee you can be.. I understand you might not want to live alone right now, but continue to save money so you can move out eventually when you’re emotionally stronger. I read in your other post that you’ve lost some weight through working out, but also be sure to eat a proper diet. Lifting weights/working out increases endorphins which help curb depression. Getting organized is good. Talking with friends and relatives about your concerns is good, but be sure not to overwhelm them with repeatedly voicing the same concerns over + over about the breakup. If you continue to have depression, consider talking with a counselor.
I’m sure you know this, but just as a reminder; A woman wants to be proud of her man. A man who is in control of his life, emotions, and behaviors. A man she can lean on for good advice and support when she’s going through rough patches. Become that man!
I’ll try to become that man. Just right now, I’m hurting really bad and struggling to get out of this dark place I’m stuck in. Where I wonder if her being a part of my life years from now is a possibility, or if even that could never happen.
I’m just having a hard time. Thank you for trying to help, I wish this were easier..I’ve been where you are. I was living in a rented room by myself until I had a break down and I didn’t want to be alone anymore. That was back in March and, even though I have made progress, I still dip into dark places. One was just a few days ago. I have been looking for a counsellor and being on here helps too.
You can’t look at the future from the dark place you are in right now. Focus on getting yourself better first and then look at the future.
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