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What are some signs that the no contact rule is working? And if it doesn’t work are there any other methods to make her want you?
I am wondering the same thing right now. I’ve been doing no contact for 23 days. I’m wondering if it’s really that important to finish it at 30 days or if I can cheat and do it now. I would think if she’s trying to contact you it’s working really well. How long have you been doing no contact?
You know I feel the exact same way. I’ve been broken up not even a week now and my ex boyfriend contacted me to see if I was ok. I’m not gonna lie I broke and messaged him back and now we’re meeting up in a few days. I really have made a lot of changes even though it has only been a week. I’ve seen a therapist, acknowledged everything that I could have done better throughout the relationship but only now that we’re broken up am I able to process this all. I’ve also been doing a ‘grateful jar’ where i write a little not every day since we’ve been broken up regarding everything I am grateful for about him.
I think it depends on whether you’ve been contacted by them and how they have behaved towards you. My ex’s text didn’t seem that great but it was something that he didn’t have to do if he really didn’t care like he’s said he doesn’t.
I started it for 2 weeks and cheated… Now it’s been a week.
I was wondering if you also have any advice for this whole thing please
Im gonna go straight to it.sorry if it’s too long I felt the more detail the better. (TLDR: too long didn’t read at the bottom) I talked to this girl for about three months. She went to my elementary school and she’s my neighbor so we started talking for the first time. She mostly started our conversations, anyway after talking to her non stop for about a month I told her I really liked her but she told me she didn’t know what to do she thought we were friends but she still wanted to give me a chance but didn’t know what to do. That was fine we decided to keep talking and hanging out to see how things went. After two weeks I met up with her after I went to the gym because she ice skates at the same rec center and talked. That night she texted me telling me she actually liked me and said a these really nice sweet things to me and that she thought I looked really cute that day. So the next day I took her out on a date and things went well I got to kiss her and hold her hand and it never got awkward it seemed like we both enjoyed ourselves. Anyway…. About 2 days later she got back into school and I was still in my summer break (we go to different schools). Our conversations were boring mostly because of her she was showing no effort to keep the convo flowing or showing interest which was weird. So about 4 days after our date I was going to meet up with her at the beach with her friend. I got there first and asked her when she was coming and she replied a time and I told her to text me when she got there but she never did… So I texted her if she was still coming and she said “yes we’re here” idk why she didn’t tell me she was there when she sent my brother a snapchat at the beach. So I told her I would leave my friends and meet up with her and asked her where she was and she didn’t reply. I texted again and still no reply I just went anyway and I spotted her an before we made eye contact she got up and went to her car so I asked her friend where she went and she said “to go see some other friends she won’t be back for a bit and doesn’t have her phone” but I kinda knew that wasn’t true so I told her to tell her to text me when she got back. I left and she never texted back. That night she texted me saying sorry her phone had no service which I knew was a lie because she was already texting me before. I questioned her a little bit but never confronted her. I could also tell she lied because her friend just sounded like she was lying and as I walked away she was looking at the direction of her car where my was at… Anyway I asked her why she was acting differently and she told me she thought shed like me more after our date but she doesn’t really have feelings for me anymore and she was really sorry and told me that I should stop wasting my time… This really sucked because she really got my hopes up and literally crushed my dreams within 2 days. I was really bummed the next day I had a lump in my throat the whole day and I didn’t talk to her. This is when I started the no contact rule. I was still really bummed but I only cried once now it was just frustration more than sadness. I was frustrated because how can someone like you for 2 days? Unless she didn’t really mean the things she said… I’m mostly frustrated because I see a lot of ugly guys with really hot gf and I don’t want to sound stupid and all but I’m not that ugly of a person I workout and pretty fit, I have good hygiene and I play lots of sports. Anyway I kept the no contact rule for 2 weeks and a few days ago I see her tweeting stuff like “I miss you but I’m scared to text you” or “I just want the chance to start over and do things right” and that’s when I broke the rule…:(( I texted her…and I didn’t even have a plan on what to say and she didn’t even seem excited to hear from me so I think those tweets weren’t about me… Anyway I’ve think about her everyday (but I’m not miserable without her) and I’m just confused about the whole thing and I really want her because she’s what I’m looking for also if things don’t go my way I still want her in my life to be friends I just don’t know how to go about that. Anyway I just want to know what to tell her before I start talking to her again and just any advice in General would be great! Thanks(:
TLDR: basically I liked this girl for a really long time and she didn’t really like me at first but then she did for like 2 days and changed we mind. So I started the no contact… And I want to know what to tell her and talk about to get her to like me back if not I just want her in my life.
She might have not seemed excited to talk to you, but doesn’t mean she wasn’t. If she was scared to text you and from what you said, she was probably playing it cool.
The thing with NC, in a lot of cases, you don’t know if it’s working, but it depends on the situation. NC has helped my ex miss me to the point she cries when listening to certain songs that remind her of me. (She just told me this morning) But has she made any real attempts to get back together with me or to show me she is remorseful or regrets what she has done? No.
See, even when I think of NC I think of it as a means to get my ex to miss me. What it’s really about is working on ourselves and discovering why it went wrong. NC allows us to step back and remove the clutter so we can get rid of delusional thoughts of grand love we thought we had. We get slapped in the face with the truth! It’s a good thing.
NC is working if you have enlightened yourself on what you could’ve been doing wrong, improved yourself, and you know you can be happy no matter the outcome.
If it doesn’t work in the sense you don’t get your ex back, you’ll still have a better outlook, etc. If it doesn’t work in the sense of you gaining a better outlook and improving yourself, then that’s because you weren’t open to it.
I continued No Contact as I grieved to a close friend. She told me she just so happened to scroll through his Instagram where he became more active after he had dumped me. He knows I had deleted my Instagram long before we problems. She told me the posts after our break up were of him in school wearing shirts I had complimented in the recent past and using a messenger bag I had bought him instead of his other 3 messenger bags. I don’t know if this means No Contact is working and he’s trying to stay close to me having things of mine to him company during his transition.
Today I got a haircut and received my class schedule. Should I in return post these changes in my life? I got the exact same haircut both he and I thoroughly marveled when we were together but the schedule shows that I did not receive the same classes he took his senior year which he intended to help me with?
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