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hi i will try to cut a long story short. i was with my ex gf for 5 years during that time our relationship was great most of the time we were best friends and awesome lovers. however throughout our relationship i was battling a heroin addiction on and off. because of this it was the only thing that caused conflict between us. she stayed with me and tried to help me battle my addiction for the last 12 months. it took a toll on us both but particularly her. for various reasons i lied to her to try hide things about my addiction so not to hurt her but when i did this and she found out the truth this just hurt her more. so u can see there is a obvious issue with trust. anyway we broke up a month ago after a small arguement just before i got my naltrexone implant which has stopped my heroin use. throughout my addiction she said she wasnt going to leave me but help me beat it. i guess she had enough right at the last minute. i was devastated. i went through heroin withdrawl and breaking up with my missus at the same time. worst possible scenario. i know she still loves me but she is worried that i will get back on the gear. but i can honestly say after everything i have been through i will never touch that shit again . i have lost too much and created enough pain to last a lifetime. currently im getting treatment and drug councilling to beat my addiction once and for all. ive been hitting the gym and trying to better myself. after we broke up i helped her move some of her stuff out she moved to a unit with a friend of hers. she has said that she wants me to get better and we cant be together again until i beat this addiction. and then she says she cant guarantee that we will get back together because of all the shit i put her through. and she has said she doesnt know if we have anything left. i have spoken to her once in the last 2 weeks just to see how she was and she seemed fine. she was suppose to pick up more of her stuff from my house but didnt show up. i was at work when she was going to do this. at first i begged her not to leave and all that sought of bullshit but then i accepted the break up for what i had done. i feel terrible that i put her through so much pain and hurt. she said she will always be there for me and support me to beat my habit but she doesnt contact me at all. not sure what to do im still on an emotional rollercoaster. so i decided to go no contact and concentrate on myself for a while. one more thing i keep seeing posts of her on facebook with random guys when she has gone out clubbing. does this mean she has moved on?. if anyone has any advice that would be great . thanks all. im a fighter and i wont let this part of my life beat me.
Hey,
You have been doing great 🙂
Continue what you are doing and make positive changes in your life,be confident and be cool about everything.i suggest you not to check her fb profile.concentrate on yourself and don’t worry about anything.IF IF she is even dating someone,its probably a rebound and its not gonna last that long.
Don’t show her any sign of neediness and show that you are having a great time in your life.you can use your Fb to do that.
Always be cool,happy and confident.you need to impress her with positive changes and she needs to see the changes in you and your life.I’m sure she still has feeling for you but don’t say anything about getting back together and don’t say anything about the negative memories or the break up.be cool and act like friends so you can get close to her without being or looking needy so you can reattract her.she doesn’t have to feel any pressure.
Best of Luck
Hey i was wondering is there any approximate timeline for her to get over this sought of thing? also she just dropped in to grab some of her stuff i kept cool and calm but its was difficult. she didnt stay very long just collected some of her stuff and left. would you agree if things were completely over she would of grabbed all her stuff from the beginning so she wouldnt have to see me everytime she comes to get her stuff. one other thing my granddad died yesterday and she text me to see if i was ok. would this mean she still cares or is she just trying to be nice? to me it seems like she is happy and wants to move on but she hasnt totally removed me from her life? confused and frustrated
Hello everyone
Am new to this and never done this before, I recently lost my girlfriend and need some advice, I’ll try and make this short.
I am 26 so is she we have been dating for about 7 years, we broke up 2 months ago and for those 2 months I was begging her to take me back and give me another chance and nothing has worked, is been 3 days since I stopped talking to her now. The reason she broke up with me is because she says she has a lot of anger and resentment towards me for the past year and half because I haven’t been showing her my love towards her, she was always the one doing everything for the relationship and she would tell me that she would feel lonely and I would change but slowly would go back to the way I would be. I was just getting to confident with her since she was always the one doing everything, but I love this girl and would do anything to get her back, what do y’all think I should do. She is being very cold towards me very mean, she has become a different person. She says she still loves me but not the same.
Terry,
First of all sorry about your granddad.May he rest in peace.
And,she is not over you.she hasn’t moved on and she still has feelings for you and she cares about you.
You have acted great.i know how you feel but its normal.do something that makes you feel better and continue the good job.hey Nuni4sm,
It would be better if you create your own thread so everyone can check and give you their advises.Btw,you have been acting needy for a long time but don’t worry you can change that.
Text her and tell her its weird but you have been thinking and you have accepted the break up and you believe it was for good.say that you are sorry if you have been acting pushy lately and wish her the best in her life.start NC immediately and continue it for 45-2 months.she will forget about the needy picture of you,the bad memories and she will begin to miss you.Read the article again,and follow the 5 step plan.it increases your chances.
Subscribe to kevin’s email series and it will help you a lot during NC and forever.Best of luck
Thanks a.z for your time. its hard trying to control my thoughts my head is all over the place. i just find it weird when she come to grab some of her stuff its like she couldnt get out of here quick enough. would this be because she is still hurting? also i wrote her a letter basically saying thank you for breaking up with me it was the best thing u could of done for me to beat my addiction and i said sorry for all the hurt i created. but so far she has not responded to this letter. maybe its freaked her out i dont know. anyway i just gonna keep doing what im doing and try concentrate on myself for a while. cheers a.z
Wow, this sounds very similar to my situation. In my case, I broke up with my boyfriend over his drinking and lying about it.
So, coming from your girlfriends perspective, I’m still hurting even though I ended things. No one wants to watch someone they love suffer. And addicts bring everyone down with them. Every time you told her you were getting better, you gave her false hope. That deceit is really hard to get past.
That said, congratulations on actually getting better! I hope my ex has your strength. You are doing everything right by cleaning up and taking care of yourself. Finish out NC and then call her to meet with you. Then, you can explain that you have been sober for X amount of time now, and you will do anything in your power to makeup for everything you put her through. We understand lying is apart of addiction, but it still hurts. It’s very hard to walk away from someone you love, especially when they’re suffering. She didn’t want to do this, she felt like she had no choice.
By giving her some space and distance, it’ll take the edge off of her pain. And it gives you more time being sober, so when you do talk, she will know you’re serious about cleaning up. At least, that’s why I’m doing NC with my ex. I’m hoping more than anything he will be a month into his sobriety and doing whatever it takes to earn my trust back.
She still loves you. Give her time and hang in there!
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