-
Posts
-
I’m on day 53 of NC (July 19 was my last communication with her). She has a very private FB page – no information available on her page or on her friends pages (also private), until September 5. She posted a public picture stating “This is my boyfriend Gary.” and where he lives. Then on September 6 she posted a public message to her friend’s private wall about dating. Then on September 7 she posted another public conversation on her friend’s private wall about upcoming travel plans, having her boyfriend take her to and from the airport, plus they will be attending a wine event that Sunday plus some other comments about kissing etc. (coming from 2 women in their 40s). Finally yesterday – same thing, public post on her friends private wall thanking her for picking up her daughter so she could get an early start for her date and what an awesome night they had.
So to me it appears to be that of a rebound relationship.
My questions are do you think she is in the indifferent state? Should I continue to maintain my NC for now and see what happens? Do you think she wants me back based on what I stated above? We are both stubborn people so she may be trying to get me to make a move. What do you think?
Hey,
I think you don’t have to stalk her on social media.The most important part of NC is about you not your ex.
No one can answer your questions for sure but yes,her relationship is probably a rebound and you should continue NC.
Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.A.Z. Thanks for the reply. I really get what to program is about. I’m at day 61 of NC although I think that if she is “stalking” my FB pages she might get a feeling of how I am doing. She can not see anything on my timeline other than my “cover photo”. Now I have been changing it about once a week – is this kinda violating NC? I don’t know if it is good to let her know I’m doing great or let her guess. Should I continue updating the cover photo or just leave it for a few months? I have no problem continuing NC and see if she contacts me. Thanks again for the help!!!
As for your rules to follow here is where I am at.
-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
I’m on day 61.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
Never thought I was a mess. Starting dating a few days after break up. Dated three different women and now been seeing one for 6 weeks.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
Not sure – been trying to lose weight after putting on after breakup. Started playing hockey again too.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
Again – not sure. As each day passes I understand the program is designed to do this. Show that better is out there.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
I have dated three different women. Steadily dating one now for six weeks.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
Again, I think I have almost fully accepted it but not 100% yet.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.
Same as above.No,its not violating NC but do what you would normally do.Be patient she will understand that you have been doing good when you open the lines of communication.
You can wait for her to contact you or you can contact her when you think you are ready.Play everything cool and take it slow.She doesn’t have to know that you still want her back and you should act like you are friends.
If you decide to contact her,wait another 2 weeks then go ahead and contact her with one of the text versions mentioned in the article or write her the letter.Hello A.Z. and thanks for the advice. I’m now at day 72 of NC. I’m still contemplating about writing that letter (which I prefer to texting). So here is the most current update to where I stand.
As mentioned about, she has a very private FB page which I have no access to, so checking it every few days or so happens since there never is much to see. However yesterday she made a public post about missing her friend while she was in Texas (this after her knowing I was away for 5 days in Cape Cod – she was supposed to go with me before the break-up). Later that day she changed her background picture from her grand daughter (which has been her background picture for over 2 1/2 years) to one of those “positive saying cards”. It stated, “It doesn’t matter who hurt you or broke you down, what matter’s is who made you smile again.”
Obviously, she still thinks about me all the time. My question is shouls I still wait to send that letter or is now a good time to send it? I’m actually going away with the person I’m dating (been 2 months) for 5 days this weekend so it would not be sent until we are at day 79 of NC. Thanks again.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.