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Hi, I was togheter with someone for over a year. Long distance, in that time we got really close. i made some mistakes to go slower then she wanted. Ended up in breakup, you are not man enough, childish,..
I get her frustration in that. After that i started my i will change thing, what didn’t work. so we ended up in not talking for a bit. Then i got message that i don’t have to be silly and stay away. So we started talking again. And since then we go from close to distant again . Like from one moment to the other.
When she backs off, i do too. but every time i do she gets angry. I try to give her what she wants.
In meantime i try to focus on myself. but it’s always their.
I get mad at her because she doesn’t read or reply my messages for ages. Always followed after message from her btw. But when i don’t respond quickly i get a whole lot of s over me.Mad me always says, it’s done i have enough but then she comes back, with problems she has and because i care i always fall in that trap.
I’ve tried that. The next day she was on the phone. I have to tell you something. It’s important.
Why you do that, why you kill everything..
So i explained that because it’s not good how we communicate at the moment i wanted that.
Made the mistake to ask some polite questions afterwards about her. How she was ….
So after that we didn’t speak for about a day and then she started messaging again.Even up till now. she comes with things she has to show me or things she has to ask.
Maybe she is just using me when she needs it. can be.
I have no idea anymore.I am sorry, but in my opinion you should just tell her more firmly that you need some time and space for yourself, that the breakup gave you pain and you need to regain composure. If she won’t listen, then you will have to ignore her.
It looks like she is really attached to your presence and closure – it doesn’t matter now though, because it was her who initiated breakup, so she must now face consequences. Blaming you for anything is immature in my opinion. She should understand your decision of NC.
Good luck and do not text her!
Ok, we met each other last week for a couple of days. We spend all the time together, had lots of fun, laughs, cuddles, kisses even sex. When we said goodbye she was crying.
The day after she texted me a lot, that she misses me, wanna be with me.
the next day she totaly changed again and went to cold. She contacts me but doesn’t feel like she wants to.
I guessed she wanted space to think so i reponded her but not to much.
Yesterday she texted me and i said to her, I’m on a terrace and i will call her later. So she starts asking with who, where…
I give her some of the names of the people i’m with and i get a whole, why you do mysterious? why you act like a child. I quickly changed subject because i answered her and didn’t feel like going on about it.Any idea what she wants???
So yesterday i told her I don’t wanna be in her life anymore. That it is just not good for both of us.
I said goodbye, deleted her from facebook and instagram.
Within 24 hours she texted me. how are you, don’t wanna bug you.
So i just replied, I’m fine and closed app.
Got a douzen messages after that i’m rude, why i didn’t ask how she was.
It’s driving me crazy.You wrote:”So yesterday i told her I don’t wanna be in her life anymore. That it is just not good for both of us.” Yes, the relationship sounds like it was toxic and not good!
How far apart are you? When you met in person, whose idea was it? Did she travel to meet you or did you travel to meet her? You both sound immature. What are your ages?
It was cruel to have sex with her and then 2 weeks later say goodbye.
If you really want to be done with her, don’t answer any more messages.
She’s 46 and I’m 37. We are about four hours flight apart.
I told her I could come and she agreed.
She decided herself to stay with me in the hotel. After an hour she Already started kissing me. Yes we had sex, a few times. We touch each other and it happens.In my heart i still wanna be with her.
But my brain says it’s not a good idea.I don’t know how I can’t respond, it’s not in me. It’s impolite and makes me feel bad.
Wow. I thought you were teenagers or maybe early 20’s. You seem to enjoy the drama and your “goodbye” obviously wasn’t serious. So continue.. and hope you’ll both be happy over the long haul.
Tell me how i can say goodbye? I got already two messages today. I’m awake four hours.
I find blocking a really mean thing. Never done that.
Just not answer?Blocking is not mean if a person pesters you and won’t take your word for the breakup. What’s mean is if a person won’t let go and continues to hound you.
You told her you don’t want her in your life anymore and that it’s not good for both of you, then said goodbye, but it didn’t work and she doesn’t believe you meant it. The problem is that she believes you are good for her and she doesn’t want the relationship to end. You’ve been too nice, but sometimes a person has to be rude when the occasion calls for it..
If you really don’t want her in the long term, you have to be more forceful. You could send one last message and tell her she’s NOT the one for you and that you’re moving on. If you feel you need to give a reason, state one or two and tell her to move on. Tell her not to bother sending any more messages because you’re NOT going to answer them. She might send more messages trying to bargain with you and promise she will change, but if she’s said that before and didn’t improve, you can’t believe her.
After you send that last message, never respond to her again no matter what!
Sorry about your situation, but don’t you deserve a more stable person? A good relationship is a pleasant happy experience.. not one filled with drama, hot and cold behaviors!
If you truly know and understand that a relationship with her was toxic and NOT in your best interest, then a breakup is for the best. You will grieve for a while, but then start dating other women close to home and you will find one who is compatible with you. Take things slowly and get to know the person very well before you get into a relationship!
I think you are right, except, she is the one that dumped me.
There is that little part of me that want her back, i know, nostalgy, but i think I’m ready to move on
August 1st you wrote:” So yesterday i told her I don’t wanna be in her life anymore.”
Okay, she dumped you first and then you told her you don’t want to be in her life.
You could continue reminiscing about the good times and try to forget the bad.
I don’t think there’s anything else I can say about the situation except I hope everything works out for the best for both of you..
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