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Posts
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Dear All,
After spending quite some time in this section of the blog, I realize most posts are mostly plagued by the thoughts of someone losing their love and unsure what to do about it, or they are confused by the actions of their ex. There seems to be too much worrying/fearing the unnecessary. It does nothing to keep wondering about your partner’s action or the reason for them doing so. Some times, they might not even be able to give you the reason for their own actions. However you can work on yourself, how you think, what you can do to make yourself feel better.Hence if you are reading this, allow me to cheer up your day.
Take a little moment to write 10 things down that you’ve appreciated for. It could be about your family, friends, or even having food on your table. Then every day, try to find something new that you would appreciate for and add on to that list.
A little step a day goes a long way.
Stay Happy, Stay Strong!!!
Thank you
The first time I did Nc I will admit I was always thinking about I can’t wait til it’s been 30 days and I get to re contact him and just worrying about it.
I’m trying to do no contact again because I think it’s probably the best idea for my well-being. When my ex and I were together I had bad depression and anxiety problems and I realize now I leaned on him for my support and happiness. So now that he’s gone, it’s brought out my depression ten times more and now I don’t have my escape. My person to lean on, the person that I DEPENDED on for everything.
That’s not healthy or fair to him or myself to rely on him for that.
After trying to re contact him and he responds nicely but never tried to contact me first I began to feel hopeless and like he’s never coming back. I get legit withdrawals from him I feel like my body will hurt and I will feel the total NEED to contact him or be with him and have him hold me.
And this is not right. Because the thought of me not having him back makes my life look dull and sad in the future and I don’t want to depend on him.Soo.. I’m doing my second round of no contact and am seeking advice on how to do it right this time.
I want to be independently happy. I want to be able to feel okay knowing that I probably won’t get him back. I want to not cry myself to sleep anymore or feel so hopeless that life doesn’t even seem to be what I want.
I just need some guidance.You’re welcome everyone.
Leslie, you have taken the very first huge step which is to identify and realize the issue you’re facing. Like what everyone mentioned in this website, that we are all important in our own ways. What I did was to get myself to believe that and my steps to improving myself must based on the fact that, not for our ex or future partner, but for own good, to heal ourselves inside out.
There are always two sides to view a situation. In my case, my business wasn’t doing well and my ex left me. As a guy, failure in both couldn’t be any worse. Initially I was upset and blamed life for all these happening to me. I was desperate and reached out for anyone and any thing I could get my hands on. As time passes, despite how many friends consoled me, it is only I who can help myself. And its also this time when new business opportunities came knocking. As one door closes, another will open. Some times I enjoy watching Steve Jobs graduation speech at Stanford University. It brings some truth about connecting the dots.
I’m currently reading this book “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin and it has brought me to see things in a new light, new perspective. Till this day, although I’ve been on a couple dates and I have accepted the fact that I might never be with my ex again, I am still going to take the risk as whenever I’m out on dates, I wish it had been her beside me. There are many girls out there, some are prettier than her or better than her in certain aspect, yet she had been the only one who captured my heart. After all, there’s only one of this girl in this world. Yet at the same time, I am going to continue working on myself to regain the self confidence I once had and bring myself to greater heights. I hope this could give you some inspiration and faith to get stronger.
Have faith in yourself. Some times you’ve got to take the giant leap to find out what is on the other side and to your surprise, it could be something even better. If you do read the book, feel free to share along your insights along the way. It would be a good sharing session as well.
Stay Strong. I’m cheering for all of you.
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