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17 days since break up and NC. we said HI one time when we saw each other(4days ago) in front of my house,we both faked smiles, we had a deep one second eye contact, but we both looked away…
this weekend we both had plans with our mutual friends, but he didnt want to be where i am, he said he didnt feel ok if we were both there.. and then middle of the night he said, he is ok that, if we both hang out with them same time.. But then next afternoon when me and two of our mutual friends were coming, he said he is going home,but didnt say cause im come,just that he leaving. so, idk what to think.. he doesnt hate me or dislike,im a normal perosn to him(he said)..is it bothering him that i look okay and happy ? is he broken hearted too and it would be hard for him to just look at me and not talk,cause maybe inside him he does want us back,but is too stubborn .. if he wouldnt care he would be able to ignore me or at least be in the same place s i am..or am i wrong? i understand he needs his space, and time for getting back up, to his life, getting freedom again and being always with friends.. i wonder what all this means .he knows i will leave him alone..
Hi Tami,
Its kinda tough without knowing whats going on with him but sounds a little how my situation started with my ex. I kinda was in a similar situation like you where it was weird like that. I got to day 27 of NC and what I did was send her a text message saying that I wish it had worked out between us but at least we tried and that I didn’t want it to feel awkward between us when we seen each other and hope that we could at least be friends and after I did it changed everything, little by little she was contacting me and I started to get her trust. It could be that he feels awkward being around you even though he says no or maybe he feels like being around you so soon makes him feel awkward that you’re there and he feels like maybe they are trying to set him back up with you. I think it just might take a little more time since its only been 17 days. Give him some time I wouldn’t say avoid him but maybe he needs his space right now. You know him better than me and maybe consider the text or some way of contact after you’re done with your NC so it makes him feel comfortable around you.
all i know is what mutual friends tell eachother about him… but uh he doesnt tell them how he feels and if he is actually really okay or if he is just pretending.he doesnt talk about me, he just says things i used to say when we had a conversation about the system or smthn, always like : “she said _________________”.. he is not the type of person that feels awkward.our mutual friends are trying to do that we dont hang out at the same time… idk i know he didnt ask for that but they feel awkward about us breaking up, and now they are always with him, he has a car and he takes them where we used to go together.. he isnt going anywhere alone-doesnt that mean he misses me at least a bit?. for the alst 6 months we were going together everywhere , he ALWAYS took me with him , really always.now he takes them..before he met me he was with people maybe 2 days per week.he is a loner and now since he broke up, he is out more than ever before…why did he change this all of a sudden? they are even annoying him more time than not. i think he just needs someone to take his mind off me. i feel like he does love me and cares, and thats why he doesnt wanna hang out with the same group i am there..if he wouldnt care he wouldnt care if i am there or not, probably? if he would feel awkward he wouldnt come to my house to pick up my cousin he’d say to meet somewhere else, he would avoid it at all cost. deep inside he has feelings and loves me, it was the first time he felt what it means to love someone in his 22 years. all what he had with me was new for him and i was the first girl he opened up to, and the first person he actually trusted the most,first time for him to sleep with a girl at night in her bed…he even said that i am the most important thing in his life and that he cares so much it hurts him- he said this much love he has for me he doesnt know if he is gonna explode one day of it… i will let him his space ofc, i also need time to improve myself and to heal a little.. . but his stubbornes and his mind.. he just turned off his emotions and feelings and is just rationally thinking that it wont work out betwen us…and i will do my all to try, at least try to get him back. i miss him and i just want him in my life. everything is so lame now. we were so much together, always and he was so not nice to others, these friends always called me to ask him if he can drive, cause he said yes to me and no to them lol. and now.. i am nothing. wtf i dont get it…. 30 december his birthday, shall i text him HBD…? and uhh i dont know..i just wanna hang out with him so he sees i am changing and improving.
Since its recent I think you need to work on yourself, I can say that was huge for me. I can tell you from experience its not easy doing the NC you get those weak moments where you just want to give in but stay strong. If you dont mind me asking what was the reason for breaking up? It seems like he is a person that needs to be around people and he is using them for to fill in your spot and even using them to try to make him feel better about the breakup. I would keep it simple and just send him a happy birthday text and leave it at that if he replies with a thanks just say you welcome and maybe throw in a hope you have a happy new year too and leave it at that and at that point maybe wait a week and start doing first contact with him and see how that goes since I think you should be around the month mark.
well yah, i am working on myself, i have changed a bit in almost 3 weeks and i am still improving and changing myself. i am willing to try as hard as i can to proove him i am worthy of a second chance. Well actually, he isnt a person that needs to be around people. He is more like a loner and I am too lol.. and idk.. lately he is always around people, that he doesnt like that much, but he has no other chance cause he wants to keep his mind off of me, I do know he loves me so much, we were so in love ..we were so great and all… There were several things that bothered him. i understand i want kind of possesive. The main reason(which I found out yesterday from a mutual friend – it totally tore me appart again and im on the beggining of emotional recovery – again.) kk back to main reason it was that I cant behave good all the time.when im mad/nervous/stressed i put it all out on people around me, and he couldnt stand to be in stress that much cause of me. I just know if he wouldnt care he would be ok if he saw me around.. everyday he sees me when he drives by with his car, i can see the sad look he gives me for a second and then always turns his head down. I know him, more than anyone, I was the first person he opened up to and trusted, and spend so much time with someone..i was everything he never expect in life to be possible,first time he was in love and …i am just the most lucky girl that’s been able to feel and see his soft side that he hides for 22 yrs now.
Okay i will text him HBD 🙂 thank you for ur time and respond
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