Got my stuff from my ex but went horribly wrong need help !

I phoned my ex before I went over friday and we managed to have a conversation. I asked her how she was etc she asked back and we had a few minutes of nice casual conversation. Then somehow we ended up talking about why my ex didn’t want to even see me when picking the stuff up. She said i was a dick and now she has no time for me because of my actions. Anyway things were getting pretty negative because i apologised and tried to explain why i reacted badly. She didn’t seem to care as she was sticking to not wanting to forgive me. So as the phone call ended i pulled up at her house. She came out almost smiling or laughing? Maybe she was surprised to see me with a car? Like she was happy in a way to see me? Handed me my stuff and I asked where she was going as she walked past her house. Straight away she said “i don’t want to talk get away from me”. She said it in a way like i was harassing her? i asked what i did wrong and why she was acting so weird. as i got closer to her to ask her what i did she began to over exaggerate and start to almost run away from me raising her voice telling me to fuck off and that i need to stay away…she was treating me like a fucking molester. I was getting more and more aggravated because she was making me look like a clown in the street. So i eventually said fuck it and walked away. She told me to fuck off again and i lost it and told her to “go suck Ryans dick” (which was the guy she flirted with last time we broke up then as soon as we break up this time i see her adding him as a friend) i put my middle finger up and got in my car and i must have hit a nerve as she stood there and burst out crying. After all the insults and things she said to me when unprovoked and when i reacted she burst out crying. Told me to get out my car and basically tried to attack me as she was crying while shouting “i hate you”. So while she’s shouting at me trying to attack me im trying to calm her down and hold her. Her parents rush out and her friend further up the road. It made me look like the bad guy.. anyway her dad told her to be quite as she walked over to her friends house. Her parents told me to just go home as it was the best thing to do. Before i went i told them i didn’t want to stir anything but i needed them to know my ex was self harming and took the miscarriage and the loss of her grandparents badly. I knew she was depressed so i told them. They appreciated me telling them and were almost on my side it seemed. They wished me luck with university and said the best thing to do was to go. So I did. From there i drove to a different city to see my best friend and spent the week end there to clear my head.

I think it’s clear that I don’t think I have a chance now? I’m not sure what’s going through her mind anymore. She treats me like I’ve done so much wrong towards her but in reality she is the one causing me the most pain through her actions. The most I did was call her names when we broke up and contact that ryan guy to see what was going on because i was sick of her dumping me then talking to other guys. i know it wasn’t right and was immature and i apologised. But she is using it as an excuse as if i’ve done so much wrong towards her; it’s a reason to hate me for no reason. I’m not sure what to do. I know i’m saying all this but i love her. I care for her. What we had i feel like it was worth the pain. I feel like we could work through it and come out on top. Just unsure what to do. She told me about a month ago she didn’t care for me and nothing was bothering her anymore because she had moved on… so how come when we had a conversation on the phone she seemed to care but was scared to show it… then she cries when i retaliate to her petty actions? Then says she hates me?? I don’t want to seem like i’m looking into it too much but if someone says they hate you and they loved you before.. that’s a sign that they still have emotions towards you. I don’t even know anymore. I just miss her. I guess i am petty too. I tried to make it a casual get my stuff and go but she treats me like a creep.

I need help. Any will do thanks!

If you want to know more look at my previous posts. Thanks! all help will be given back!