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It’s been 3 weeks since my ex gf and i have officially broken up. She has been in contact with her ex bf that lives far away, he was abusive to her, depressed her, and made her cut herself. I don’t know if it was to officially push me away, or maybe she did it because he randomly messaged (which he did use to do during the relationship, but she really hated him, and never talked to him, or talked about him) her at the right place at the right time? My ex gf and i were madly in love, but after so much fighting, she was so convinced that it wouldn’t work and she wanted to let me go. After making all the silly mistakes, i begged her, and got her gifts, i always texted her when she gave me the cold shoulder, and things were slowly working out as soon as i gave her a bit of space. Then i opened my mouth once, said something minorly offensive (i don’t even remember what it was, that’s how minor it was) and she wanted out. I begged again, but she agreed to stay with me…because she felt BAD for me. Maybe again things were showing improvement, but i scared her a bit with how clingy i was being because she started to lie to me, or maybe that was just me going crazy because i was going to lose her. After two weeks of her feeling bad for me, i finally stopped acting in denial and let her go. She wasn’t even trying at all at that point. I couldn’t help but cry on our last hangout, i tried to bring her to nice places to hangout, like our first date, and first kiss areas, but it was absolutely no use. She didn’t even say a word, and she seemed a little annoyed by the end of it. I talked to her on kik about why she is talking to her ex, she gave me short bland messages and she ended up blocking me, eventually i talked to her again, and made a new kik account (stupid idea) and i asked her why she blocked me, and that didn’t help at all, so i sent her a long goodbye text, and she just seemed so annoyed. And i don’t blame her. It’s been three weeks since we have broken up, two weeks and two days since NC. I messaged her yesterday on steam, she still plays all the games i bought her, still has the steam account online all the time, but now she just plays games with her friends at home apparently, not sure what that means, but she told me that she didn’t buy the video game, so that makes me think that her ex bought her the game and she is skyping, and playing the video game with her ex. I wanna believe that she is smart enough to not date him, or even talk to him anymore, because he has really hurt her, and i have to, but i never made her cut herself, or make her not hang out with her friends. Anyways, when i messaged her it was a bit awkward, i was trying to act as positive as possible, and i tried to be friendly too. She seemed to busy to chat, so i just said bye and went to hangout with friends. All the messages she sent though, were short, plain, and not interested in talking. I tried to talk to her again just today, it started with just “hey”, and without hesitation i say “whats up?” right after, and she hasn’t responded. I tried to send her another two messages, and still got nothing. So i stopped for today. I think i should stop for the week. Sadly, school is starting soon and i have went two full school years of her and i being together. Holding hands, kissing before class, eating lunch together, sometimes i use to cut class just to be in her class, and of course walk her home. I don’t want to go my last year of high school without her. I love her, and this shit is driving me crazy! What should i do now? NC? Keep talking to her? Try to keep the messages to a minimum? Any help would be appreciated c:
Hey KevinRev,
I think you should go back to the no contact. It doesn’t sound like you have really done it right and 2 weeks doesn’t seem long enough for your situation, so I suggest the full month. I know this is really hard, but it is the only way to get her back. I wouldn’t worry about her reaching out to an old ex. She will still think about you. But you need to take the time away from her to let her miss you. You need to play it cool and clear your head or you will keep ruining your chances. She knows she has you if she wants you right now, and you need to put some distance in there. I understand that no contact is just so hard. I am 2.5 weeks into it myself, but it is your only chance man. When you feel the need to contact, just come post on here instead, or read the other stories of people on here. It helps me. Also, Relationship Rewind is pretty insightful if you haven’t read it yet.
You can get her back man, but without the no contact you don’t stand a chance. You need to do it right and focus on yourself. If you still decide to get her back after the NC, then you can post where your at and everyone on here will help tell you how to reconnect. Keep your head together and build some confidence. It will help to re-attract her when the time is right. You got this man.
Thanks for the reply, i really appreciate it. I only called off no contact so early because, in my incredibly hard clingy faze, i deleted her, but immediately added her back, but she didn’t accept or decline any friend invitation on and social media. So i assumed she either forgot about it, and it just kept showing that it was sent but no answer to it. Out of the blue she accepts 4 – 5 days ago. I didn’t say anything to her yet, but it was the only thing where i knew she was on her PC and she couldn’t pretend like she was busy or something. i guess i only messaged her because i of course miss her like crazy, but school is starting again soon. It just would feel so weird, and i know that she has like 7 different guy she could date or rebound on, but she has told me when we were friends that she didn’t like any other guys, and she has told me that when were together. I guess i’ll go back to NC. Though, i have been taking care of myself, i go to the gym weekly, i hang with friends, i’ve been taking jobs, but now she is just everywhere so it’s just getting very difficult. Should i just follow the 5 step plan now? At this point, i also feel guilty that she is talking to her horrible ex again :/ i feel like i pushed her to do it. And i guess i’m going to have to go through a portion of the school year without her :/
Definitely don’t worry about the other guys. Even if she starts to show interest in one of them, you need to ignore them. There is a reason why she wasn’t with one of them to begin with. Do the NC. Sounds like you are doing ok with taking car of yourself which is good. It is not your fault she is talking to her old ex, so don’t blame yourself there. Girls tend to do things like that when they are having a tough time. You need to be indifferent to her at school and act like you two are acquaintances and nothing more. Do not go out of your way to talk to her or anything. You are on the NC step and it will get harder before it gets easier over the next several days, but stick to it.
Stop blaming yourself. Two weeks ago I was doing the same thing, and I did all the begging and crying and stuff before I started NC. I took all the blame and gave my girl all the power and pushed her right into the arms of this back-burner dull dude that she is currently with. Now its time to take some of that power back and clear my head. The same for you. You are doing this for you. Not her. It’ll get there man. Stay strong!
Will do. I can’t seem to get her out of my mind. I actually dream about her almost every night. This isn’t the first time she has left me, but it was never for this long. Though she did leave me and then had a rebound relationship thanks to her friends for setting her up with him, but she came back to me shortly after four days. And the dreams are usually about either her leaving me, her still being with me, or just us being a couple hanging out. It’s such a weird transition, and i have her added every where. I guess i’ll just either block her, and go back into NC. Or i guess i’ll just not have her blocked so she’ll see all the positive things i’m doing, and the new video games i’m playing. I’ll stay as strong and hang in there. I just really hope it gets easier, it’s been a rough couple of weeks and i know that school for the first couple months are going to murder me. Especially October. I miss her a lot man. :/
I totally hear you bro. I have had a dream twice already where my ex and I worked it out and were back together again. I woke up all happy both times, but after a minute or so I realize it was only a dream and become super depressed. The dreams eventually go away. Block her if you need to keep yourself from going on and looking at her stuff. Do the NC man. If you miss her and feel that you are the best one for her then the NC is the only way. Be strong.
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