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I agree – if she were so into him she would not be hanging out with you. The most important thing is to follow your own heart and trust your guy and do what feels right. You know your situation better than anyone else.
Keep me posted!
Hey guys, so I heard that my ex’s new guy is going out for drinks with some friends tonight and kinda ditching her is what it sounds like… I texted her last night and wished her luck on her race this weekend and she said thank you. Thats it, very short.I think she might be mad at me? Im not sure though.
I was thinking that since tonight will be a night where she is all worried about her other guy or something when she will be very nervous for her race and the other guy is choosing not to be there for her, that it would be a good time to try and slip in and show that I am better than that for her? Maybe ask her to hang out tonight? opinions?
nick, personally, i don’t think this is a good idea. i don’t think she’s mad at you. she has no reason to be. but i think she is probably trying to just have some space from the situation. you gave her back your ring and she’s probably confused and taking some time to think about things (probably why she hasn’t given the letter yet).
i don’t think you should ask her to hang out tonight. i think it will send her conflicting messages. last week you gave back the ring and tonight you want to hang out? i think it will just show her you aren’t over her and you want her back. plus do you really want her to go back to you because the other guy ditches her one night? no! you want her to come back if thats what she genuinely decides she wants, which i don’t think she has yet.
i think if you hang out with her it will only set you back emotionally and i don’t think it will change the situation at all. i would still wait another month or two at least to see how the situation plays out with the new guy. plus, you aren’t sure if he’s ditching her. maybe she has plans with girlfriends or wants to relax before her race.
Should I even try talking to her? or go see her race? If I went to the race, I dont think Id let her know I was even there. I still support her very much. I just want to be the guy that will always be there for her you know? I love her that much that even after all she has put me through I still want to be there for her.
I think that’s a very personal decision and whatever you feel most comfortable with. I will say I felt the same as you do now until about 4 months after my break up. Im ahead of you now. My ex kept telling me he felt pressure and wasn’t sure what he wanted in the future etc and I never waivered in loving or supporting him. I told him he was the only one for me and I would wait for him to go through whatever it was he was going through. But I ultimately just decided I was living my life waiting for him and that’s no way to live. If it’s meant to be it will be and I need to focus on me.
I do believe you’ll reach that point eventually – where you can love her and hope things work out but not act on it. For now do what makes you happy. If it makes you happy to go watch her race then go for it but if it is in an attempt to win her back, I don’t think it will work. What if the other guy is there? Just take care of yourself and do whatever it is that feels right and makes YOU happiest!
I actually told my ex about 3 months after we broke up that I will always love him very much and hope things work out for us in the end but I need to live my life for me. He told me to do whatever makes me happy and he knows im here for him if he needs me.
My point is that I know it seems romantic to just be the guy who is always there for her and I felt the same way but eventually you reach a point that you jusy
and I mean im now ahead of you only because we broke up in September so im a few months ahead of you in this process
I regret giving her the ring back 🙁 I think that I royally screwed up. I want to take everything back. I want her to drop this other guy, he will NEVER love her like I do. I know that. I want her back, I know that. Maybe not at this moment yet because Im not the best I can be yet, but someday.
What is the “best” way to go about getting her back? She never told me that she never wanted to get back together like many peoples ex’s have said, she never told me that she wants to see what else is out there to confirm what we had, she really didn’t tell me much to be honest.
I think that’s a question everyone on here asks. Unfortunately there’s no real way to get an ex back.
I do think if you don’t allow her the time and space to come back on her own that she will resent you later down the line. I think all you can do is respect her decision for right now. It’s only been two months. If you tell her this guy will never love her like you do it will just push her away. You need to be patient.
As for her not telling you anything, you can ask her for some answers if it would help give you some peace of mind. You can ask her her real reasoning behind the break up and what she thinks might happen in the future but you need to take everything she says with a grain of salt. She can’t predict what will happen in the future or how she’ll feel in a few months. But you can ask her any questions that you think would clear things up for you for the time being.
I need to apologize to her for that note I left her with the ring. That note was made out of hate and me being upset.
I really think this is why it’s so important to keep up Nc. It’s normal for your emotions to be all over the place after a break up. There will be times you want to tell her how much you love her and times you want to tell her how much she hurt you and how badly you want to move on. That’s why not talking to her is best because you’ll continue to show Her how all over the place your emotions are.
I would tell my ex never to talk to me again and I wanted to move on one day and then the next I would apologize for saying that and tell him I loved him and would wait for him. It honestly wasn’t fair to him or me. Keeping Nc is much better for both of us. I still feel the ups and downs of emotions but it’s better to just not tell him until im settled more. Plus once we started sticking to cold Nc I feel way more in control of my emotions.
I would just stick with not talking to her. It’s really hard but I think it’s the only way for the time being. You can always reassess in the future.
I just dont think I can be OK with what I said. Im just feeling way too convicted right now.
Hey ya’ll need some advice. So last night, I got black out drunk and was texting my ex bc she texted me. She sent this: “You don’t understand how much I want to be snuggling with you, doing things with you, having sex with with you. Not him or not anyone else. Just you and I have fucked that up for myself.” This is extremely confusing bc she knows I’m still in love with her, and she said that to me so like why aren’t we together already? She still wants some time. But just want some thoughts.
Shoot I said that she has no idea how badly I want that too but I’m really hurting that she already had sex with another guy. She knows I’m still in love with her already so I mean it probably didn’t do any harm.
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