Found a note meant for me.

She keeps texting me and saying how much she regrets sleeping with him and how it makes her want to throw up. She says she is lucky to have someone who cares so much about her when there is this guy that’s only trying to get in her pants. It “showed her where her heart really should be.” So looks like we are making progress.

Let her run after you. Don’t lie down and say yes to everything. Or you have learned nothing. Don’t ignore her either though. Be cool. Be real cool.

Give yourself some time too.

@atea1234 Long message. apologies

so we broke up. I went to ireland for 5 weeks. I stopped drinking. I still text her but probably too much. She said to give her space but I didn’t give enough. She still text me from time to time. Sent an odd photo. She even sent xmas Cards to my Family and Relations. She spoke of how would she ever be able to go back to see them Things like that confused me. So at the start of january I stopped texting. 8 days went past and she text saying thanks for not texting.
I arrived back here on the 12th. We text a few times over the week. Nothing Major. We had a big fight the day after i arrived. She found out that i was asking her Cousin if she had a boyfriend. I just had a Feeling. Turns out i was right.
My friend died of cancer on the 17th. She phoned me that day and text a bit.
We met on the 19th for dinner. That was a nice time. only an hour or so but she talked of old times etc. But she gave hints that i hadn’t changed too much

The next morning she text saying that she found it so hard to tell me but she was sort of seeing someone. I went mad. Text some bad things. We argued for a few hours. I said goodbye but she flipped at that. Why goodbye she asked.
Next morning i text and said sorry for some of the things that i said.

Then I found here and went nc. After about 8 days she text asking if i was ok. No reply. Next day she said she was worried but had seen on Facebook that i was ok. No reply. She text a few more times and i replied with that i needed space. She didnt like that.

She continued texting every 2 to 3 days with no reply from me. The texts got stranger as time went on. She sent photos of us years ago and things like that. She told me bits about her study and so on. I didn’t reply. All the time I felt myself getting stronger and I was doing lots of things.

Then a few weeks ago, during her exams, she text all sorts of weird things. Stuff from her past had come back into her head and i was the only one that she could talk to. She begged for a reply. So I replied. All my answers were neutral. No Emotion at all. She said about 6 times that she would like to meet after the exams. I never said yes or no and she never mentioned a day. And I wasn’t going to ask. She text photos of her Family and let me know how the exams went.She had said twice that she had seen nobody and met nobody apart from her mother for weeks. Towards the end of exams (last week), she went a bit quiet. Last friday she text photos of an old house in the Country that her sister owns. Photo of our bedroom and “our sunflowers”. We planted that whole garden together. I wondered who she was there with. Saturday i text hello. She said she was away for the Weekend with this guy. That shocked me as the way she had mentioned seeing nobody had led me to believe that he was gone off the Scene. But she said ‘who else would i go woth’ and ‘why did we never go here’.She felt like she was living someone elses life. Whatever she meant by that??!!
That night, Feeling angry, i asked her if she had no Feelings then say and i would be gone. And if she did then stop living this ither life. She acted odd but angry and said she didn’t want anything anymore. So i said goodbye. I told her i was seeing someone else (i kissed a Girl a few times). Her Response to that was ‘okay!! Enjoy’

She asked if i would pick up some things that i had left. Letters etc. I said ok.
Sunday she asked if i would meet monday. I replied in a nice yes. Monday she cancelled. Too tired. Strange i thought seeing as it is just picking things up. I said if she was Feeling stressed in General then we could meet and Chat. i would help her. What about not talking again she asked. I said i would meet if she needed me. (In reality i realised that i was very cold and showing no emotions in all my previous Messages). That cheered her up and she asked to meet tuesday. Go for Drinks. Tuesday came and she cancelled again. Feeling wrecked and on her feet all day. She sent a selfie to Show the bags under her eyes.
So wednesday we met. And you know what happened. Slight touches. Talking of going to places together. She did mention him a few times. But nothing Major. She said it must be so tough for our new Partners because ist not like we don’t like each other. and that if he said he was leaving she would probably just say goodbye. I did pick up some things. That meant i was in our old flat.

It ended with a Long hug. check to cheek and she stroked my back. She asked to go to watch a movie soon and maybe for dinner. Yesterday she seemed a bit off. She didn’t get a break at work and then had a dentists appointment. She was scared of that so i did something ( dont want to say) and she said thanks thats nice. I asked her to let me know how it went.

I heard nothing then all evening. I text last night saying hope it went well and good night. I got a text really early this morning saying it went ok. Thanks. Have a good day.

So. What do you think? I’m confused and caught between optimism and thining i am reading too much into it all

Ok. Not really what i wanted to hear but thanks.

I did tell her last weekend that that i wanted to move on. She reacted very badly. Very eager to meet up. I can’t stand the thoughts now of not seeing her for so Long.

I am so confused. By the way she acted on wednesday i was almost sure that she would be willing to give it another go. I was tempted to ask her what she was doing for this Weekend but i guess i shouldn’t now?

It’s just that i felt she was really considering things on wednesday. She spoke of how good i looked and that she could see that i have changed. Jokingly said that i could rent out her spare room.

I am completely confused now. Damn

I hear you. Well, she did ask me to hang out. And some of the touches etc were more than friends anyway.

I might test the Waters another once or twice and then reassess.

I checked out a Thing online. 16 signs that your ex wants you back. She passed all 16. All with flying colours. Something is up.

I have to be careful though.

You did say that her wanting to meet was a big Thing.

Fair Point. It isn’t fair on him. And the way she spoe of him was odd. Either that she didn’t care about him and he is still just ‘there’ or she pretended for my sake. But I know her well by now and got the Impression that she was bored with him or something.
But then again my judgement would be skewed.

She should end that. If she doesn’t feel it then she should. But the fear would have her now. I might meet once or twice more and then say what you said.

I don’t think one evening is enough to give a Lasting Impression.

I feel for her in a way. I left her Feeling very stressed. And as i said, the way she spoke at times was like she was trying to tell me that they didn’t see each other a lot.

I dont know. I will see what happens in the next few days or weeks

No I do agree.

I will bring that Point up. She was talking about coming away for Weekends with me and so on. That’s not fair on him.

She said to me way back when things went bad, that if the day came that i stopped drinking and my head was sorted then she would fight to get me back. That she wanted to grow old with me. And even if both of us were in relationships that she would do that.

Lets put her to the test

thank you. I will be sly about it. I can read her very well but she might struggle with the new me. If she liked him enough she wouldn’t have hung out with me and had me back at the flat. I would go beserk.

I have nothing to lose but go the way i am going. I feel it will work. i will Keep you posted