Following the ebp course, but things are not going as planned.

Hello,

So me and my ex were together for 1 year before he decided to breakup with me. Here’s a quick overview of the relationship we had.

We did not go through what most relationships are like the first year. A few months in, he told be that he had to move 2h30 hour away for work. That was a bit stressful for me as I could not follow him right away because of my work. So when the day came that he was leaving, we were also in a bad spot with Covid where the provincial borders were closed, so that meant I couldn’t go see him till they opened again. That took 6 months. 6 months of being forcebly apart. That’s half of our relationship. However, I was able to go up for 1 week within that 6 months. That was very hard on trying to stay connected and close. Especially when the first year of a relationship is supposed to be spent together and knowing each other. My ex broke up 1 and a half month after borders opened up.

The reason for the breakup was he lost interest and did not want to continue the relationship. When he broke up, I panicked and got needy and sent him a few message to get him back.

Since the breakup, I followed all the EBP course. I did 2 months of no contact, worked on myself and actually learned a lot more than I had thought about me. I’ve made positive changes and even went on a date. I also learned deeper on his reason for breaking up. Going through what we did made us somewhat distant. But on top of that, I was not fully committed for that one month and a half after the borders have opened. I regret not having given him more attention. So when he was sure, he broke it up. I also did all the worksheets that the course gave me. Before deciding to restart contact after 2 months, I made sure that there was the potential for a long lasting relationship, especially with the improvements I made for me.

So I decided to use the semi-direct approach and use the elephant in the room message to get a clean slate. I apologized for how I acted after the breakup, told him how I have done lots of soul searching and learned a lot and finished the message by saying hiw I missed talking with him and wanted to start talking again and see where it would go, but was Ok with being friends. Because of the distance and him moving to a new appartment during my no contact, I sent the message by text because I did not have his address.

I never got a response and three days after the message, he unfriended me on all social medias.

This was a surprised to me because it wasn’t a bad breakup, especially not for this kind of action. I truly believe that we can have a lasting relationship, but I don’t know how I can show him how I’ve truly thought things through and made me a better version of me.

Any advice on this kind of situation? Should I have added more information in my message? I did not want to add to much because I was gonna do that in conversation 3 of the course. My message was just to start a frienship and go from there. I’m really at a loss. Thank you in advance for the feedback!