Boards Reconciliation First she asked for some space, then after two weeks she broke up with me

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  • #56062
    Ned
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2

    Hi Kevin, here is my story. Can you help me?
    We were almost two years together.It was kind of a long distance relationship(I would came home every month and spent 7-10 days with her, and I spent every summer with her) She was crazy about me. She loved every single thing about me. She couldn’t believe that I want to be with her(I was 21,she was 17 at the time we started,and I’m very attractive, women tell me that very often ). Everything was more than fine untill month ago. We had just few small fights through our relationship, and we always talked and solved our problems. She would always tell me if someone approached her in a bar, or texted her( she never replied to other guys). We were happy, she said a milion times that she never been happier,that I’m the man of her dreams, that she wants to be my wife, I would always tell her nice things. Month ago I’ve noticed slight changes(I had to move to Austria, but I would be able to come home more often, and it’s closer to my home). She was not hugging and kissing me with the same passion as she had before. She told me that she has changed a bit(she said school and responsibilities around her house made her tired), but there is nothing to worry because that won’t affect our relationship. She kept telling me that she loves me, but I felt she wasn’t so crazy about me like before. I didn’t know what happened because I always tried to be nice to her, to improve myself. We had a plan. She was supposed to move to Austria for college next year.I won’t be glad if she went somewhere else, but I was ok with it. She was excited about us starting a new life in a different country. Then we had a fight three weeks ago. She said she is not so sure about coming in Austria, and I was a bit hurt cause she didn’t want to try.I know that’s not final decision and I overreacted. Day after I texted her that our fight was stupid and I wanted to solve the problem and say sorry. She replied that she needs some space, and that we should spend some time not talking to eachother. I was surprised and hurt, and told her it was not good idea. She was persistent about it and said this relationshio is choking her, but we will solve this and be together again. Week later I texted her with intention to come home and solve this issue. She was in for talking but not for seeing me and getting back together. She said: I know we’ll solve this, a love you and I can not imagine myself with another man, and I know that you are the best, but just not now, I need more time. Five days after that she texted me when she heard that I’m having hard time here saying: I don’t want you to be hurt, please don’t be sad. Again I tried to solve this issue she was not ready for it.5 days ago I came back home. We sat for a coffe and talked. I admited my mistakes being overprotecting sometimes, and stubborn when proving a point( but that didn’t happen often). She said :” that’s not a problem I love you, and I know you are nice guy, but I just can’t be in a relationship right now. Month ago I wanted to break up but my sister talked me out of it. Since then I didn’t wanted to reply to your texts, see you, but I had to because we are in a relationship, and that was choking me”. ” I still love you but I just want to spend some time alone. I don’t have someone else and I do not want to see other men. I just want to be alone. Three days after I called her to say that we can make a relationship with less texting, she’d have even more freedom. But she kept saying that she does not want to be in a relationship. I don’t know what to think, month ago everything was fine, she was in love and happy and she kept saying that. I’m not a jelaous guy, I never tried to forbid her anyithing like other guys in relationships. Don’t know what happened. She said that her mom,sister even some of our friends are on my side and she is sick of that too. Sorry about bad english. Can you help me?

    #56112
    sunshineflower
    Blocked
    • Total Posts: 13

    Hi she just needs some time away from the relationship. Sometimes in a long distance relationship, you can feel smothered from the responsibilities. And like she says it can choke you. With time, there’s a good chance that she will miss you if she is still in love. Even though this may seem like it’s sudden, it wasn’t. She had been thinking about this for quite some time just didn’t know how to go about it. Your overprotectiveness can smother a relationship so learn from this experience. While you are apart, think about ways of improving your life and changing the bad aspects about you.

    #56190
    Ned
    Participant
    • Total Posts: 2

    Thanks sunshineflower. Well I started with the NC rule and 5 days after the last conversation she texted on Viber how are you, whats up. That was two days ago, and I haven’t answered yet. Should I?

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