Ex's Behavior Post Contact and Decision of NC

I already have a theory but I can’t confirm it. But I’ll share.

I think her new relationship is a sort of rebound. Of course she doesn’t think like that and she’s still in Bliss…

As for your question, I’ll give more detail on initial exchanges. She said she was sick, had panic attacks and allergy due to stress at the time between breakup and re-contact. I said I’m sorry to hear that, and gave my utmost attention to see if she is ok. She said she is fine now. She told me she’s planning on moving to US or Germany for the job and she has some offers. I congratulated her on that, and wished her best outcome she desires. When she asked me how I was doing, I was 100% honest. I was hella busy, and since I was studying in master and doing company projects all my time was invested on that. She asked me how my language A (her native) is improving and jokingly said I probably stopped ever since seperation. I said no, I studied every day 4 hours and can have proper conversation now. She said she stopped studying English but I told her, no she was doing just fine, even better now. So outside of those things there were bliss moments by both sides in texting. I’d say 70% her, 30% me.

When we talked on the phone the next day, she asked me I should also be getting ready soon for job applications (the plan was I’d apply for job after master when we were dating) and I said that plan had changed. I want to do PhD now because it will net in more salary and options in future. She said I’d be 30 by the end of PhD (we are same age) and we are getting old. And we laughed it out and shared more bliss reminders.

And here is my theory. I did pretty good ever since breakup. I got over my insecurities, fixed my life. And re-structured my GSI. She had none of that. She obviously tried but she couldn’t get any result. Thus in her mind, she lost the post-breakup competition. (Although she seemed all happy for me) Probably she was expecting me to plead back, and open the convo for reconciliation. But I did no such thing. I wanted to be her friend first, and open the lines of communication thus all my replies were as if I was her old friend from high school. She couldn’t get over that fact that I flipped the switch ever since our last contact. Thus she became obsessive about it. That is why she became completely berserk on social media ever since re-contact occurred. And the reason why she was so much pushing, displaying hot-cold behavior, and borderline trying to make me jealous was she wanted attention from me, the way she would get from a chasing guy. But I didn’t chase. And she changed the script in order to get revenge on me on that. And instagram account was born. She flirted with guys there (one being her new bf), that is why she didn’t follow me back because the reason for that was to just get my attention, not an actual friends relationship. And the desire for a guy combined with trying to be better than me resulted in her new relationship.

Think about this. Who would go in 4 days from super sad and pathetic, to super happy and in new relationship with a stable mind? That is why I say this is rebound and the fact that she is doing things she would normally not do is supporting that claim (facebook, instagram etc.) but I could be wrong.

I’m proud of myself for not chasing. I conciously didn’t want to give her the control again. And didn’t play any of her mind games. Didn’t show jealousy etc. I was definitely mature and full of confidence. But I showed her enough attention when she reached out to me. Especially that midnight texting.. It wasn’t ordinary after all that happened. I constantly referred to Relationship Rewind and Kevin’s guidelines during whole this deal and trusted my gut. And I was actually surprised that she got in to new relationship so fast after that. I think coming Feb 14 had something to do with it too.

I had a bit of fun yesterday.

Since morning the ex has been quite active. What started with “Wish for at least 1000 day relationship” comment turned into “Person and relationship sincerely..” which became around night “I’m like an elementary school kid, I should just change my name to Immature ABC.”

I burst out laughing after seeing that last thing.

Today she changed her profile picture into a picture of the new guy. I’ll be looking forward to what comes next lol. It’s fun to learn new things about the person you spent so much time with, and you realize how little you knew him/her.