-
Posts
-
I’ll try to be as concise as possible
– Have been broken up since September 16th
– Ex liked me a lot more than I liked her during the relationship (or so she thought)
– The truth is I just wasn’t really open about my true feelings (a part of me was kinda scared as I haven’t had much experience dealing with these emotions)..until after the breakup
– Says I hurt her repeatedly during the relationship (I guess by repeatedly not reciprocating the love/affection) and so she essentially shut me off in her head despite the fact that she wants me..
– Ex says ” I just don’t think it makes any sense to be in a relationship with you right now.. I may change my mind later. It may be too late then but I’ll take that risk”
She said these last two things to me around the time of the break up– The past week and a half she’s started conversations with me like 80% of the days telling me random stuff about her life or her family or just to talk.. kinda like we did during the relationship, albeit shorter. I found this behaviour highly confusing.. I mean..she broke up with me just last week so wtf ? lol
– So I ask her why do you still want to contact me.. lol and she gave me perhaps the most confusing response you could imagine
” Because I like you as a person
Perhaps the parable about liking something from a far manifested itself in reality
The one about admiring something from afar and being enamoured with it
Intrigued and taken by its beauty
But upon nearing that thing its beauty changed into something vague.. unrecognisable
Perhaps I’m taking a step back to recapture the beauty that once held me”
Confused as hell I respond
“Okay I get it.. you don’t like me (romantically) anymore”
And she’s like ” I never said that”In probably 95% of break up scenarios I would know how to react/behave/act/feel but this is pretty confusing to me. Perhaps a third party could help. How should I approach this situation ?
Alright. I am a girl. Here is the deal. She is having her cake and eating it too. She doesn’t want a relationship but she wants you there.
Do this – it’ll work. If you haven’t done Kevin’s 5 Step Plan, it’s time to implement it – that’s why we are on the site.
What I would do though is this. Next time she texts, text her back and tell her you would like her time on the phone for about 10 minutes. If she says yes, say what I wrote below. If she doesn’t call? Text it to her.
“I have something to share with you and I really need you to listen until I am done talking. Will you do that? OK, thanks. When we were together, I wasn’t always up front with my feelings. I had a lot to work through and I have. I ‘love you’ (or ‘care about you’ – whatever you feel) and giving our relationship another shot is something that I am ready for. If you are not ready for that? I am going to move on. I cannot be here for you because you ‘like me as a person’. I appreciate that – I like you too – but I am serious you and out of respect for myself, need to move on, heal from this and not be in contact at all’.
What she is doing now is completely taking advantage of your kindness. And it’s wrong.
You can be assertive and still very kind.
I’m really starting to believe this may be the best course of action. Today out of the blue she comes and has a conversation with me(we talk for like an hour and a half).. then she just stops responding while remaining online for a few more hours.. ugh.. why would someone even do this ?
What if when I tell her we shouldn’t be in contact at all she asks me “how long” ? (she tends to do this.. we’ve had a lot of nc periods during our relationship because we’re both very busy people)
Any other advice before I proceed ?
Oh and there seem to be some typos in what you have there could you fix them please
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.