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Hey so I’m going to make a long story short. So my ex broke up with me 3 1/2 months ago saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship because of past relationships and being stressed with college. He said it didn’t have to be goodbye forever and we could definitely be friends at some point. We talked briefly every few weeks after that but he was very hot and cold. One day he would be talking to me and snapping me and the next he would ignore me. He permanently ignores me after I made a comment that we should catch up. I sent him a text saying he didn’t appreciate me during our relationship and I deserve better. That was two months ago and we haven’t spoken since. We still have each other on social media and he watches the vast majority of my snap stories even when they are long. I think about him every day and miss him. I want him back in my life but I can’t do that if he ignores me. Does anyone have any advice? I really don’t know what to do
@maya123 – Being busy with studies and trying to get into law school might have affected his decision to break up with you. There might have also been other reasons such as you wanting more time with him when he felt he couldn’t give you extra time. I’m not saying that’s one of the reasons, but guys don’t want girls who are too clingy or argumentative. I understand his wanting to take things slow, but did you pester him too much about wanting a serious relationship? Actually being his girlfriend IS a serious relationship, so what more did you want? I bet the trauma he experienced with the previous girl he dated who was bipolar was also still on his mind. Telling him he didn’t appreciate you and that you deserved better was the wrong thing to do if you wanted to be friends or maybe get back together. You probably did it out of anger and frustration, but you need to stop and think before you say things like that as it will negatively affect his opinion of you. You stated in your other post that his birthday is in May. If it hasn’t passed yet, you could send a nice birthday card, ask how he’s doing, and apologize for the hurtful comments. Then don’t bug him with texts or things on social media (snapping etc). He’s the one who said you could probably be friends someday, but he might not be ready for it yet. Seems you will just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime, I highly advise you date other guys. I know you’re sad and miss him, but you can’t force him to want to see you. Wishing you both the best whatever happens..
Will he be going far away or out of state for law school?
Thanks for answering. I guess I should clear a few things up. He never called me his girlfriend and I don’t even know if his parents or friends even knew we were dating or anything more then friends. After four months of dating I brought up the “what are we talk” because things were going well and if had been four months. He said we were exclusively dating and he was 100% committed to me. It wasn’t argumentative it was just a conversation that needed to happen. He said there was hope for more because I made it clear I wanted a serious committed relationship at some point down the line. But after this everything went downhill because he started to ignore me more and act very cold to me at moments. And honestly that was very frustrating because I wasn’t clingy at all. I always told him it was okay if he was busy and we couldn’t hang out. But honestly I was busy too, I’ve been in grad school taking five classss and interning 21 hours a week at a very emotionally draining agency. Yet I didn’t take out my frustration on him and I always made time for him. I told him he didn’t appreciate me because during the last few months he didn’t. He put very little effort into the relationship even though he told me he cared for me and wanted to work things out. It’s very frustrating because the first four months were amazing, he put in so much effort and I could tell he wanted to see me even if he was too busy. I think that’s why I miss him because the beginning was good and I wish it had stayed that way. And I think I have a right to be angry with someone who’s decided that ignoring someone is easier then communicating and talking out problems. I have been dating and talking to other people but I’m just not interested in any of them. I will wish him a happy birthday and we’ll see what happens. I’m just conflicted because I really don’t think he treated me well and I don’t want him to be hurt but I am glad I stood up for myself and told him that, but at the same time he was awesome for so long and I wish I could have that back.
As for law school he was applying to a bunch that were close but also a few that are hours away.
@maya123 – I completely understand wanting the situation back to the way it was when it was good. But the thing is, you can’t go back and obsessing about the past will only serve to make you more and more depressed. No use trying to figure out what went wrong and why. Most men would rather ignore difficult emotional problems rather than deal with them by talking about it. If you’re not ready to date others, then don’t. Keep us posted as to what happens after his birthday.
Good luck..Thank you for your help! This break up has been very hard on me for so many reasons. I know there is probably someone better out there who would actually appreciate me and want to communicate and work through issues. But I just can’t move past him and I just want to make it right. We’ll see what happens. Thank you!
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