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(Putting this in two parts) 3 weeks ago, my ex gf of almost two yearsbroke up with me. This came after she had a really bad year. Full of disappointments for her, and losing a very close family member. She seemed touchy about everything recently, I believe this to be the cause and had a lot of discussion over nothing.
The last straw for her was that I had to go to work early, and stayed at her place. She wanted to come with and to school on her way and took the same route. I ended up leaving her on that bus and taking the company bus, cause I would be late and lose a day off I requested for our two year anniversary. So she got mad. Did not speak to me next day and I wanted to meet and apologize so she would make excuses.
Next thing I know she wants to meet but with me getting her stuff back. I quickly realized what would happened and argued over texts about it. I ultimately gave in and agreed to meet. She calmly broke up with me, saying the relationship was pretty bad and wanted it to end well before it ended badly, and be friends. If there was a way to ge back she said we would only be able to find out like this(Part two) After the breakup I was clearly angry, for not talking to me about it first and making that decision alone. So i texted her nonstop asking for her to reconsider and that there was a solution to this. This went on for about three weeks in which at the end I agreed to meet and be friends. I pitched my last proposition and she still said no, that only by being friends we would find out.
I gave in and told her we d be friends. I walked her to her train stop. We hugged and couldn’t help but kiss. She was clearly shaken up, as I was. Asked her about it, she responded in a aggressive way that I should live on day at a time. Didnt seem herself. I proposed to get back, she told me she cannot make that mistake in trying again, not with me.(Part 3)
We left as friends that day.
And I tried to contact her but she was being distant. A week later we met up with friends. Kinda coincidentally. She totally ignored me and treated me like an acquaintance. When I confronted her about this she told me that she couldn’t treat me like a good friend right away because of what already happened last time. And told me she needed time and now was not the time to discuss it and we should try to be friends in the meantime. That she also felt the same but it still hurt her and needed time to heal. I told her I would give her her space.
I tried to be friends that following week but let romantic things slip. She told me she was feeling pressured and asked for space and no to mention any of that anymore to her. I agreed and proceeded to cut off all contact, or thats what I had initially planned.Part 4
I decided that the last thing I should do was congratulate her on a web show she was about to start so I sent the message. She thanked me and replied that she still cares about me,and I left it at that.
Next day, I couldnt help but watch her show. But before that she sent me a message about how nervous she was and thanking me for all the support for her to get there and that I was the main person that was and still is important in her life. so I answered a bit indifferently and gave her tips to not be nervous. But we said we still cared about each other at the end of that.
The show ended and I was so proud if her I left a note in the web stream chat that she would only understand, and another similar text note. She noticed that and thanked me for the note and believing in her. Told me I could not imagine how much she loved me and I said the same. I added that we both needed space and that if I was distant, to not take it the wrong way . This did not last of course. Next day I messaged her saying that I reconsidered and did not want her to get bored on her vacations. We should be friend because we were doing this all wrong and it felt wrong. We facetimed later that day cause she wanted me to check her PC. So she was playing around with the cam until we saw each other. Thats when we both realized how great we were talking face to face, even on cam. She started to look at me in that dreamy way while we talked, told me she missed me. I asked her what was wrong and and she started tearing up, said shed call me back. I was cool the whole time and she called back and had a great talk. I felt so happy and at the same time confused.
I told her we should we should go out as friends because we both wanted to see each other. She was reluctant, she said she didn’t what happened the other day to happen again because it was not right. I told her to let it happen if it has to.
She dramatically responded “nothing is going to happen” and that she didn’t want to lead me on. I told her if “nothing was going to happen then what is she so afraid of”
She thought about it and agreed to meet soon. That same day she asked me about my day and music. I started replying but she responded in a indifferent way or just cutting me off. I let it slide for that day.
I confronted her today about that, lashing out saying if she just wanted to keep me as another ex boyfriend.
I also told her about the facetime session and if she didn’t think that it was strange. She told me that she realized as me, we were both still in love. But that we were hurting and needed to be friends and see what happens after if anything happens. And that she also wanted to see me but I should not pressure her by saying things like that.
I agreed to see her maybe later today, and am confused out of my mind
Don’t know if NC is best at this point or go along with her planUpdate:
I met her last thursday, long story short, we were at a bar and she got all affectionate with me after talking for a while. This lasted the whole night. She was all over me like crazy.
We eventually talked about the current state of our relationship. We barely can see each other on facetime and not feel different. So she told me she still loves me, but we cannot get back together at this moment. She still has resentment of all our fights and knows it will cause our relationship to be the same if we do get back. Also added to not get my hopes ip, that she does not know what will happen in the future.
I told her I would give her her time and space. But we carried on through the night like we never broke up. After that she messaged me and apologized what l fir what she said that confused me. Have only talked to her a bit since.
We’ll definitely meet up next month in a concert. So I’m guessing thats my only chance to ask her?Hey Tyler,
Start NC and stop asking her to get back with.You should follow the 5step plan.
Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.You don’t have to say anything about getting back together until the fourth meeting after NC.Be patient and don’t ruin your chances.
You do have a chance to get her back.Read the article again and follow the plan.It’ll increase your chances.Best of Luck
After NC,you should act like friends.I will help you through your next steps.If you don’t see me available here after NC,ask kevin to give you my contact info.
Update
She started sending me voice messages rather than texting me and I’ve been responding in a very friendly way. We get to the point when she started flirting and later that day I suggested video chat. We talked about everything and was all in all great talk. As I thought, we started talking about us and the position we’re in. We both realized that we cannot be friends or act like we are when we re together. And we should let things just happen and not force anything. She says I’m the inly one age’s interested even though we broke up and still loves me very much. Also admitted we were about to have sex that day and that it would have been great but confusing for both, hinted at the fact that it might happen later… We finally agreed to meet up at her house later this week… I’ll keep you posted.
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