Do we have a chance?

Last night, my boyfriend of nine months in a long distance relationship broke up with me. We had been going through a rough spot for maybe three-four months. During the time that I noticed he started to distance himself from me, I tried to ask to be with him and do things with him. But I was getting tired of feeling like I was carrying our relationship because it felt like he wasn’t doing anything or putting in any effort into us, so I kind of stopped asking. I would get anxious and he would apologize to me and we would make up and take turns to spend time together. I even said to take turns once a week and alternate between us for what to do (one week he would choose what to do and then the next I would). I suffer from depression and anxiety and I know it is something I need constant help with (already made several appointments to have therapy help). He knew about this and would often understand where I was coming from. About a week ago, for some reason we didn’t reach out to one another. Usually if I got anxious I would need a day to have space to myself and he respected that and I would reach out again to him and we’d talk about it. But this time I wasn’t anxious he just didn’t message me. And I didn’t message him.

So last night I finally reached out to him, feeling emotional, anxious, and scared. We spoke and he told me he felt like this wasn’t working out like neither one of us would hope. That he doesn’t see how this can work. That it wasn’t my fault, that we weren’t what each other needs right now. He told me that our long distance was very difficult for him (we had been trying recently to make plans to meet for the first time), and I was willing to be patient through that but he found it difficult to be patient and needed someone there for him in physical distance. He felt like we didn’t really have much in common, even though we do have a lot it just feels like right now we don’t (maybe this is my wishful thinking?).

He also mentioned how he felt irritated with me how I was always complaining about my situation and wouldn’t make any changes against it (I know myself I have a hard time dealing with change; it’s scary but I do want to change and move forward). And just that I wasn’t asking him anymore to spend time with him as much as I did, but he admitted to not being invested with me too. I asked him how he felt about me and he said that he didn’t really know and he wasn’t sure if he loved me. That maybe he felt guilty towards keeping me around but felt complex about it too, like it wasn’t just guilt. He wrote me a song expressing how he felt towards me and said that we would be okay, that he realizes he’s “been a slob” and wanted to change. So I feel like perhaps he feels that way too, just maybe is really confused?

Anyways, to wrap it all up both us apologized to each other and he kept telling me that it isn’t my fault and that he regrets getting close to me and dragging things out more than he did because he knows how much I care and love for him and really wants me to find happiness. He told me that he still wants me in his life, that he found it selfish but he told me that I was the most caring and kind person he ever met and never wanted this to happen. I found this website and I told him I loved him and said goodbye to him and he told me goodbye this morning. Everything is fresh and new and I’m going to do my best to move forward with my own changes, but I wanted to see what others thought. Do you think that we have a chance? Or am I just setting my hopes up for failure?

(Also note that I am 26 and he’s 20. I realize there’s an age gap and we both have growing up to do. It’s not our fault that we’re that far apart in age. But he displayed maturity for his age. And he gave me healthy affection when things were good that I’ve never experienced before. Just thought to leave this here as a side note.)

I apologize if this was much longer than meant to be. I’m still hurting and care for him so much. Everything still doesn’t feel real to me. Thank you for reading and letting me vent in a safe place.