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I’m 9 days into my third attempt at NC. My ex boyfriend hasn’t contacted me yet. I’m so worried he’s not going to contact me in the next 21 days. I’m working on myself and trying to strive for the best version of myself and all that. But I just don’t know if NC is working… like does he miss me at all?
We have been broken up for about a month and a half and I last saw him about two weeks ago. The last time he spoke to me was a drunk text on midnight, October 2nd saying “You deserved better”.
I need words of encouragement, please. I’m feeling really down.
How long were you guys together? Did he say why he wanted to end things?
Keep up the no contact. It worked for me. I didn’t have to wait 30 days but timing is everything.
You can do it!!
We were only together a few months which is part of the reason I’m so worried he will move on quickly and forget all about me. But I was his first girlfriend in the last six years…so maybe not.
When he broke up with me, he said he really hates his job and sees no future with the company and feels “stuck in his life.” He said he couldn’t handle a relationship right now. He also said he feels a burden with his personal problems and me leaning on him with my own personal stress/problems. Basically, he couldn’t handle it.
I’m going to keep up the no contact but I just really don’t want to be crushed again when NC is over.
You said NC worked for you. Did you get your ex back?
Yes! However, read my post titled “is it really over or is he freaking out?” Our situations sound similar.
I think the best thing you can do is give him space. When men don’t have a set career their lives are in turmoil. They don’t feel like men. If he doesn’t feel like a man, how can he be a man towards you? A job is everything to them. Give him space to figure out his stuff and once he does he’ll be back and he’ll appreciate you even more.
I read your post, I’m really sorry to hear that your boyfriend is feeling that way.
Yea, I’m starting to understand that. It’s just hard. Like I don’t know if he will be feeling better when NC is over. I really don’t think he will feel satisfied until he has a new job that fulfills his self worth. Who knows how long it could take. Last time we talked he wasn’t even looking for a new job.
I’m still going to contact him after NC, I just don’t know how long I should try for reconciliation before I should give up.
I know it’s hard, as I’m going through the same thing… but try your best to focus on you. When your BF comes back he’ll want someone who is happy, healthy, and fun to be around. I know the feeling that you would feel those things if he was there… But right now that’s not an option.
I decided to give my BF a call and tell him I’m here for him and support him. Idk if that was the right thing to do…
Yea, today I was actually feeling really good. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who is unhappy myself. So I do get it, even though in practice it’s hard when you are hurting. But I’m actually feeling a lot better today. Have you heard from your boyfriend since the call? I think it’s good that you are giving him space but at least let him know you are here for him.
Is today day 10?
What changed to make you feel good today?
I’m an anxious mess afraid that it’s over. Have not heard back from him. Did your boyfriend act this way too?
Yea, today is day 10. I just talked to a good friend last night and she kind of put it in perspective. She was like first, you really need to focus on yourself and getting yourself happy outside of him. You can and should be happy without him. If you get him back he just adds to your happiness. And she also said that she is certain that he misses me and thinks about me.
I don’t know, I just woke up today and I decided I was going to try my best to be positive today and if I really want him back I have to work on myself and make myself happy and confident again. For myself but also for my relationship. Guys are attracted to happy, confident girls. And that’s not who I have been since we broke up.
My boyfriend went ghost on me for almost two days before we broke up. He was on a business trip and it went horribly and that’s when all job stuff started coming out. When he broke up with me he thought he was going to get fired the next day. He was really distant the first week but kept in contact. He just kept talking about how conflicted he felt about our relationship and life in general. But yes he absolutely pushed me away and basically shutdown emotionally and wasn’t really communicating. I feel for you. I really do.
I’m not going to lie I’m still scared. But I know I have to be ok before I contact or see him again. Because if I’m not, and it doesn’t work out I can’t handle the heartbreak again. I refuse to feel that way again. Basically I need to move on without really moving on. If that makes sense. I need to feel like it’s he’s “loss” if we don’t get back together. I’m just taking a leap of faith and hoping for the best.
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