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Hi everyone,
I am on day 5 of no contact and am having a really rough time. I was in a relationship with this person (off and on) for just under 3 years. During this time we broke up a few times, but always stayed in touch at least sporadically and each time got back together. This time is different. We got into an argument about money I had loaned him shortly before New Year’s. I received an abrupt text from him wanting my e-mail address so he could send me money and then he stopped contact. I spoke to him briefly over the phone about 2 weeks ago and he sent me money (towards the loan that I gave him). Since then we have not spoken. I will totally admit I have texted/called him since the argument (not everyday or incessantly) but every few days and to be honest I’m sure I’ve come off very needy and desperate. Honestly, I didn’t think it would be this hard to not have him in my life and it has made me realize how much I love him.
I’ve read through everything on this web site and decided to start the 30 day no contact rule. I’m just so afraid he’s going to forget about me/move on. I’m trying to do everything that’s advised on the web site. I’ve worked on improving myself and even went on a date that a friend set me up on (it was awful). I even tried to do an online dating site recently, but I just could NOT get into it and hid my profile earlier. I just really want to get back together with this person. I miss him so much.
Any words of encouragement or advice? Right now all I can think about is waiting for the next 25 days to be over with so I can contact him. I know I shouldn’t be focusing on that, but at the moment I am.
Thanks in advance for your help!
Anyone?? I’m really having a difficult time. I’ve never gone longer than a week of no contact.
I think I’m having an extra difficult time because I’ve lost several people close to me in the last couple of years and the thought of losing him too is killing me. Ugh. Any words of encouragement to get through the next 24 days?
You will have hard time especially when you love someone.Anything precious to our hearts,if it goes away it surely hurts.
If it was your mistake say apology first before doing NC but if you have tried everything and didn’t work than you should do NC.
I am coming out of relationship of 4 years and its been 6/7 months my g/f is very cold and told me numerous times to move on,it happened when I blocked her for few days and went vacation without her.She totally got changed and negative towards me.I tried everything possible in this world but not NC now I am in 3rd week of NC and I know it hurts exp when you wake up in morning or when you are not working.
Hang in there,hope it works out for you and me.Thanks for the response. Let me know how it works out for you. I am on day 7 of no contact. I’ve never gone longer than a week without contacting him, so I think this is where it’s really going to get difficult. Yes, I have apologized many times to him (even though I’m not completely to blame) and I’ve received no response. I went into panic mode because I don’t want to lose him and I’m sure I came off needy and desperate. So I do believe no contact is my best option at this point and I really hope it will work!!
It will work. Curiosity gets the better of us all. He will be back to see why you have suddenly disappeared. And when he contacts (and he will), do not reply. That’s the point were the curiosity levels rise and another reach is made. Yet another no reply. Then he will start to rethink everything. Our brains forget bad memories and leave us with the good ones. It helps us cope with life. So when he is left with happy memories, you still won’t be there and that’s when he will start missing you. He will almost believe that he messed things up. And when you reach out after 30 days you will have him eating out of your hand.
So have faith. But remember, you broke up for a reason. Time won’t erase the reason. Only you can. So work on yourself. Forget about him (impossible though it seems). Enjoy the time. You might never get 30 days of freedom like it again.
He will make contact in the next few days. So be ready for it. But do not reply. And stop looking at Facebook and old photos.
We are here when you want to rant.
You are doing the right thing if you want him back! I have to say a fight over money that he is supposed to be paying you seems like his issue, and not yours. I’m sure it wouldn’t have turned into a fight if he was paying you as you agreed (or even close to how you agreed). If that’s the case he will realize this very quickly during NC and will be calling to apologize to you within 3 weeks, but wait 4 before calling back of course, although my ex contacting me is my weakness and I can’t bare to hurt her by not calling back (hopefully you will do better than me!).
Hi Patrick,Can you please give me your advice after seeing below :-
Hi,I was in approx. 4 years relationship with this girl.We had good/bad times together but mostly my time in 4 years was very rough as of my ex-wife,daughter & finances.My g/f stood by all this 4 years and was very committed to make it happen and get married.She waited all this years so I can sort out my differences with my ex-wife but when I was very close to settle with my ex-wife,i blew off my g/f when we had a fight & I blocked her for approx. 2 weeks.I called in after the blocked apologized and gave her flowers.This happened in Approx June 2014 and guess what my gf was never the same.I tried everything to get her back except NC.I gave her flowers,apology 1000s times,cried,begged,gifts,taking care of her mother,sister and saying sorry multiple times but in initial stage she told me to wait and as the time went by now after 2/3 months close to Nov she started telling me to move on as she has moved on with her life and she will not forgive me for my past mistakes where the most recent and outrageous was blocking her on cell phone and going vacation to vegas without her.She is been very distant,cold and don’t call or text or want to meet.I pissed her off all the time by contacting her texting her sending her flowers talking to her sisters & friend.
Finally I gave up and now started doing NC from Jan 13th.Do you guys think I have a chance or its already over.
All this time she communicated with me and was very angry and mentioned all my mistakes I did in all 4 years of relationship and where the breaking point was blocking on her cell phone and going on vacation.
She was very sincere,wanted to get married and settle,infact march 2014 I also gave her ring which she loved.Please advice if I still have chance of getting back with her.I really loved her and she stood by all this time with me.
Thanks in advance.
.January 29, 2015 at 1:18 am #27379 Reply | Report
kalicooldude
Participant
Total Posts: 13Oh Same time every time we talk oh phone or text(may be once in 10 days) she said all negative things about me,for example I blocked her on cell for 17 days,i went to vacation without her,i insulted her in front of my friend,i didn’t marry her when she was begging me to get married,i used her for sex,my mother is bitch,my daughter always came in middle of our relationship etc etc.
She keeps repeating this all from 6 months and not getting tired of this,plus she tells me oh now its too late,she don’t want to come back to relationship,she wishes I should have thought this earlier,she will never forgive me,she will not come back even I die,she is happy without me and doing good blah blah blah.Thanks in advance @
I hope you’re doing well! Keep up the good work. It really does get easier! Remember one of the main things Kevin talks about is getting yourself to a point where you will be OK if you don’t get back together. Knowing (and believing) that you don’t need him to take you back will give you extra confidence, which in turn will make your ex want you even more. Take this time to work on yourself and you will feel so much better when the day comes to meet up with your ex again!
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@kalicooldude – I think you tried to hijack her thread here. It looks like you have two threads of your own on this topic.6/7 months and the girl friend is still cold,NC started needed sincere advice pl
Started NC,its been 6/7 months and my gf still angry,cold & dnt want to come bck
I know it’s hard to get people to respond on this message board. Have you thought of trying a different message board? I will give you my 2 cents worth on your newest thread.
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