-
Posts
-
Hello , I have posted my story before here . I am starting my day 5 today. I have been giving my relationship with my ex some good thoughts . It it so strange , I wake up one morning angry feeling its the end of the world and cry , next morning I feel like I am stronger than ever and I can go through this with no problem. However I Know and Certain I want him back because he is the one I love and I understand What have went wrong and how to fix my part in it . Please send your prayers for god to give me Strength so that I dont call or text him. I generally have no patience and this is my first time in the past 31 years Of my life trying this past 5 days , to not contact.
Hey Sara,
Please be strong and you’re not alone. I know how it feels to wake up and think it might be the end of the world but the next morning you feel everything was just ok. I am in day 16 of no contact. It still has ups and downs everyday. But you’ll get there.
God will help you. Try to distract yourself 🙂
Hi Sara,you remember me right? 😀
i LITERALLY know how you feel.one day im like: f* him he’s an *******.the next day im crying my eyes out and thinking i lost him forever.
But be strong girl.whenever youre thinking about texting him,no matter how interesting your text might be,just remember that he might still be mad for the breakup and not ready to talk to you.you will probably be ignored and thats no good!so DONT SEND IT.
I believe in you.you are strong enough to make it 😉Thank you for responding to my comment 🙂 today is the night of 5th day and i feel terrible. I feel sick in my stomach and miss him like crazy:( i dont know and cant digest how a guy who could not live without a an hour talking to me became so distant and not even reached out in the past 5 days!! I was reading our previous texts and know he really loved me ! I blew my chances with him by not acting and treating him right way . Im really in deep pain. I dont know if i can make it to day 30 or even day 14 . I dont want him to become cold and distant and more firm on his decision! I want hin back and am willing to do anything to get a second chance. I know in my heart our feeling was real. I know in my heart i made mistakes . Its killing me and i have no appetite. I lost 5 pounds . I go to work , do my routinely daily life but i am a dead body . I dont stay in bed all day but have tears in my eyes every min of the day . I cant stop thinking about him. I am scared if he starts thinking i gave up on him , eventhou i was the one messeging him and calling him the last time. 🙁 i know he must miss me too . But what if he miss me but too stubborn to contact me ? What if i go through days with NC and he becomes more logical and when i contact he reject me again. I dont want false hope to live by 🙁
I know.I,too,feel like it was my fault becuz i had a lot of useless drama.my eyes are filled with tears when i think about him.
Yes,men are too stuborn to make contact after breakup,becuz it makes them feel weak!so if you text or call him now,he will think youre needy!but youre NOT.you CAN live without him,right?
And no,he wont become logical.when u finish your NC,its been 30 days!!!he most likely has forgotten the bad memories by then.So please stay strong :*Hi Sarah!
I know how it feels. I am currently restarting my no contact since I messed up my first few days.
I am learning from you guys and by reading your experiences, I am gaining the strength I need to continue this program.
The main goal for me of the 30 day no contact is not to get our ex back but to heal ourselves. We are still in denial… I am still in denial and all the what ifs is causing me to get nauseated. Then we will feel the anger towards our ex or this situation. Then we will seek answers as we enter the bargaining stage. Feeling helpless will make us enter our depression state. Which will lead us to accept the situation or ourselves. The time of healing and duting this period, we should be able to evaluate the 30 day no contact period.
Thank you male-nurse! Its my 7th day and I don’t feel any better. Yes I work , I see my friends, but days just go on with no real meaning for me. I feel sick in my stomach and have no real appetite. I have strong urge and tendency to call or text him now and just pour my heart out once again. I am mad in a way, thinking that he lied to me and if he loved me he would never ended it , no matter what!!!!
I sold my car and traded it for another one recently, they called from the dealership and asked for this key lock for the wheel which he had the last time he was here, when he took my car to fix it . They kept calling and emailing asking where it was from the dealer. I did not want to contact my ex and ask him , My dad called him and left him a simple vmail saying that very politely if he could call him back saying where he might have put the keys last night at 730pm. He NEVER RETURNED HIS CALL BACK 🙁
I feel devastated! thinking to myself what he is really thinking? he probably thinks its completely over that he never even responded my dad regarding this matter. I did not ask my dad to call by the way, he did himself! because it was important to know where the keys were placed.
Please help me. Should I give up and sent him an email ( its 7 days ) or just wait.
I feel terrible …..
Hi Sara! You are not alone. I am also in great pain and there is no shortcut in healing our hearts.
As I always state, late us have this illusion that we are okay. Let us fake our smiles and continue to absorb all the pain.
Our partners have left us / our relationship but they too are experiencing hardship. We just need to turn on the “miss” switch or button in their heads. So by faking hapiness, we will have our time devoted in repairing ourselves.
I tried going on a date but it was a disaster! Women are reminding me how I missed my ex and I learned that rebound is not really an option.
I am here Sara. We can talk until we can have that peace we deserve.
Hi again and thank you for your reply. It means alot 🙂 so today was the 8th day and yesterday he texted my dad back regarding the key lock and mentioned that he doesnt have it and he was on a business trip and just heard his vmail my dad left him ! He was very nice in his text and told him if he needed anything to let him know and my dad simply replied thank you . Does him answering my dad’s text a good news? Its been 8th days and this guy could not go without an hour not talking to me!! I am praying for him to contact me. I just thought that other thn being respectful , if he wanted to break all bonds ( since family associations and relationships was so always important to him) he would have not even bother texting my dad back . Right??
Hi Sara!
It is good that they communicate indirectly. Same with me, my ex “liked” one of my photo comment in Facebook.
Just as I have mentioned, we need to fight the urge to communicate with them no matter how empty or lonely we are.
I have mentioned on another thread that we can think of this as waiting for a fruit to ripe. Harvest it too early and it will be sour for us. We need to have that perfect moment where that fruit will taste sweet.
Yes, they are thinking of us and they are also hurting. But we want to make sure that this relationship will last. And we need to sacrifice 30 days or until theu will make that effort.
Continue to provide updates and I love reading your progress.
Thank you for reading my posts and your responds again. Today is the 9th day. I have not contacted him at all and no social media posts or nothing from my side. I have not heard from him neither. I hate feeling that he forgot me or to think that he thinks i moved on . Specially when he thought before that he was not important to me that much , which was never the case ! I sometimes want to text him so badly and just see how he is holdong up and what he is upto! But everywhere i read , the NC has been said to be promising and very effective making me gery hesisant to break the rule! I dont know how far i can go with NC . But i know that he is on my mind 24/7 even when i try to distract myself not thinking about him. I just know that no matter what he must miss me too 🙁 and he MUST be willing to give it another try if we are really meant to be together . I just know i dont have control over it. However sometimes i think what if he is also playing the NC as well!! Again , i know guys dont think same ways as grls do but he has not removed any of my pictures yet ! ( I dont check often)
Hi sara!
I am pleased to read another progress. Just to let you know, my ex have not contacted me in any way or form. And she is constantly in my mind. Very difficult situation, right?
No worries, having the urge to communicate with then is normal. I too am fighting the urge and it is really painful. But you know what? You are not alone.
They may not remove our pictures / stuff from our relationship because they are also experiencing the pain. They may have different reason(s) but I assure you he is thinking of you from time to time.
As for the possibility they might play the NC game, we just have to play better. Remember, we want to keep them and not have them back for a few months. So fight the urge and we need to battle our way to win them bacl to our lives.
Thank you again! I’ve been really struggling today ( 10th day)! My dad is really on my nerve , he wants to intiate contacting him and asking him what is going on and why he is no longer in contact! I have good relation with my parents And they know mistakes were coming from my side and i was the one not treating him right! Im devestated! Very upset ! Its killing me to go through this NC knowing I was the one making the mistakes! He meant the world to me and yet i pushed him away ! I explained before that i was very frustrated with work and my life that did not treat him the way he should have been treated . I was also very hurt in my previous relationship and was cautious ! I want to have him back. I want to have a chance to show him i CARE and that he is misjudging me , precieving me as a person I AM NOT! Its friday night and i am dying to know what he is doing . Earlier i hung out with my friend and eat and went shopping. I am trying to work on myself but not even a min he is out of head . Please help and let me if i should start contacting. My situation is different! You see ,,, i was the one dumped and made the mistakes . I am not trying to make things up And i cant fool myself . I know what i did wrong and i want to prove to him that i loe and care for him before its too late . Too afraid if time goes by and he becomes discouraged !!! 🙁 please let me know whats the best thing to do in my case ..
Hi Sara,
Im not sure if you and my girl share the same situation since I was dumped.
Let me share what I am feeling ao you may have an idea on what your ex feels. When I was dumped after dating for more than 3 years, I feel devastated. I have the urge to communicate with her but I cant because I will be the needy one.
In your case, that is the situation or emotion I am hoping my ex would feel. I am no expert and what I suggest is you try to feel when the time is right. However, insticts are usually blinded by the urge to communicate.
In case you wish to communicate with him, test the water first. Start the conversation with a friendly tone. Not spinding too needy and not being obvious that we are testing his response.
Any negative response or a rejection is normal since he is the one hurt. Allow the mood of the conversation progress slowly.
I am thinking that he might be using the NC on you and might be pretty effective. If so, dpnt lose hope! He is expecting you to feel the same since he is telling you how hurt he is and he is giving you his side indirectly / non-verbally.
Again, I am no expert and I just shared what I feel based on my experience.
Please share any updates on your path in recovering your relationship.
By the way, I am not communicating with my ex if she doea not initiate the conversation and I am have limited my response to 3 words. As mentioned, you may have been on the same situation with my ex.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.