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It is Day 25 of No Contact with ex boyfriend. I broke up with him (after two and a half years). I mailed him his things. He then mailed me my own. I am doing ok and enjoying the break from the stress of not only the breakup but the last year of our relationship. I am also trying to heal my heart – breakups are pretty much torture as all of you know. It was high conflict relationship and the arguing got verbally abusive. We had a million amazing aspects of our relationship though as well. It was an emotional roller coaster that I had to get off even though I loved him so much.
I don’t know if he is dating or not – I know absolutely nothing. I have blocked him across all social media.
My ex’s birthday is next Thursday. I am wondering if should text him ‘Happy Birthday’!
I feel like this NC period flew by. I have yet to really get out and about much (the day I ended my relationship, my father passed away so I am grieving).
Any advice on texting on his birthday? I partially want to but then get frustrated that he has not reached out to even see how I am doing – if I am ok.
I still think about him about 20x a day but I am hitting an anger stage of the breakup cycle which from reading this site, is normal.
Hi lynnwringley,
I am kind in the same situation only he broke up with me. I say you don’t text him. Are you applying NC though? Cause you are the one who broke up with him. Are you thinking of maybe getting back together?
Hi! I did break up with him but he was in full agreement (the breakup itself was terrible – arguing in public which is mortifying). I love him and of course wonder if we could ever reconcile. I think I would just like to talk to him after the 30 days of No Contact – I am on Day 24 and I haven’t reached out although neither has he.
Ending a relationship as serious as ours in a ‘fight’ does not seem appropriate.
I will stick with the 30 days of NC – thanks. And sorry you are going through your own breakup! I guess I will not text on his birthday.
Well I understand why he hasn’t contacted you yet. It’s quite soon for him. I have realised that the number of days of NC does depend on each situation. You may want to apply more than that.
personally, i would text him happy birthday. after being together so long, i think it’s the right thing to do. it shows you are strong and not bitter anymore about the break up. confidence and strength are attractive traits. if you feel you might want to get back with him at some point, you don’t want him to think you are inconsiderate. don’t engage in a lengthy conversation- just short and to the point. that’s just my opinion though 🙂
Well thank you too for your opinion – so appreciated!
So one of you is saying not to text and the other is. Hmmm….well, I will ask God to weigh in too.
I think it would be considerate of him to text to see how I am doing since my dad passed away less than a month ago. He hasn’t once. If the situation was reversed? I would actually call him and see how he is.
I may text on his birthday. I just want to get to a place where Kevin says on this site – where I am out of the woods via the pain of the breakup. I don’t want my text to start a text off or upset my heart in any way. My focus is on healing me.
I’ve said it before but you both know, breakups are torture – we all get through them but man, they are rough!
I decided not to text him on his birthday. I need much longer NC. I was the dumper but I only dumped him b/c he was verbally abusive during arguments – he had an anger problem (never hitting but just control issues and yelling).
I want to heal more and then go on a date….and then see how I feel.
Yeah I think it’s hard deciding on what to do. It isn’t right that he hasn’t asked you how you are after your father passing (which I’m sorry for) he may have not just to give you space though. So I think not saying the birthday wishes won’t be as bad as him not asking how you are after death. The NC period is for you! It’s for you to heal and you need to do what you got to do to heal. You are doing great though! Go out and do some things for yourself. Hangout with friends maybe go in a couple dates nothing serious just to get out there and start feeling better. When you do decide to re contact him, make sure not to call it a date whenever you ask him to meet up you don’t want him to out his gaurd up.
If you have any time it would mean a lot if you could read some of my threads and give me your advise. Cause like you said breakups are hard. And man this is the hardest thing I’ve had to go through and I just really would appreciate all the advice I could get. I’m also here for advice as well.Leslie,
Thank you SO much for replying! It’s kind of an answered prayer b/c today is his birthday and well, he is on my mind. I am going to take your advice. I really appreciate it!
And yes, I will read your link now and tell you my thoughts!
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