-
Posts
-
I was reading the Relationship Rewind ebook, as suggested by Kevin, and found that the book does not advocated the NC rule. It even says:
“No contact is the advice given by people who lack the proper tools to fix the REAL REASON.”
Now, I’m at a loss as to what I should do.
I think you miss the point. The book talks about using NC as the ONLY reason. However, it points to a pretty strict strategy, depending on where you’re at (Bliss, switch, Drift, or death’s door), that includes NC, in certain stages. It also emphasizes working on yourself, making positive changes in your life, and planning things because nothing is guaranteed. There’s always a chance the plan might not work, but you’ll be better prepared if it doesn’t, and can move on with your life (or that’s kinda what i got outta it). But IF, the plan works, it points out the problems that moved you from bliss, and ways you can make your relationship better. In bliss and switch, it’s not recommended. However, it IS recommended in Drift and Death’s Door. Death’s Door even says maybe a couple of months of NC…
i think the biggest thing is there are all kinds of plans that say “N/C”, and work on yourself. But there rare very few that address WHY you get outta bliss and how to avoid it. No contact in switch is horrible, because you are self defeating several things, such as the “bliss bomb” and switching the “switch”.
I’m actually having a hard time figuring out what stage we’re in.
He asked for space and time to think about something I did most recently. He felt betrayed because he found out I was talking to some other guys.
We’re not broken up, because he said so himself that he only needed time to think.
I don’t think we’re already at the Drift stage. So I’m thinking we’re at Shift. But at Shift, you say that NC is unnecessary. However, he already asked for space and I want to honor that. What do you think I should do?
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.