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Hey,
my ex-gf broke up with me a month ago. She said it was because she can’t see our common future and she doesn’t love me anymore. After that I find out she fell in love with a friend of mine who was also her close friend to dealing with her pain.
After a few days she started dating him and now they are together for about 3 weeks. There are some things I don’t understand – even if he might be a good boy, he has a completely different views on some things, he is not the kind of boy who could give her something more in the future, because they just don’t have anything in common at all. He is just giving her a nice time to spend together without any worries (only for now of course).
But during that we (me and my ex) have become a pretty good friends, something like BFFs because we know each other the best. We write every day since the break up, we visit the same church, spend time together at least once per week. She says she’s not ok with the idea we might get back together, but when we spend time together, we really enjoy each other, touch each other etc. Yesterday, we spent a whole day together and it ended with kissing and touching and doing some bad things… So she cheated on her new boyfriend with her ex. And even if she kissed me after the words “we can’t do it ever again” as passionately as she could, she still thinks we can’t get back together and that it is cool to be with a boy she has nothing in common.
Now, I’m very confused about her. Time goes on and I can say I’m ok with the idea she won’t come back more and more each day. But I also want her back, if she would like to, because our relationship was something beautiful (and it really might have future if she wouldn’t fall in love with the other guy) even if there were some mistakes done by both of us.
For now we are friends doing like nothing happened. But I know that she won’t be ok with the memory how she cheated on him, because she’s been hating cheating… and I’m not sure if she ever tells him about it, he is a choleric. So… what do you think about it? Is she coming back one day after she recognize her relationship might be just a rebound? And what should I do right now – wait for the inner destruction of their relationship (if ever)? I appreciate every opinion, thank you so much!Do the no contact rule. If your ex is in a relationship you need to leave it alone. It could be a rebound. Same thing happened to me only reversed. I broke up with my gf and started dating someone else, but we still hung out and even hooked up after a few weeks. We got back “together” about 2 months after doing this. And it was not worth it. The relationship was bad. And we broke up about a month ago. If you use no contact, that will deepen her feelings of missing you and she’ll dump her new bf out of love for you instead of for sex. She either misses the ex or the sex, and frankly, i’m pretty sure she misses the sex.
Do you think NC will make she missing me even if there was nothing she would missed me for (as she said) until yesterday when we did the things? I’m not sure, she has the new relationship, it gives her a lot of emotions, why would she miss any emotions done by me?
Like i said I’ve gone through the same situation before. She most definitely misses you, but for the wrong reasons, just like I missed my gf for the wrong reasons. If you separate yourself from her she will start to miss you as a person to love and not just as a person to be around. The feelings sound purely physical to me. Getting back together on physical terms will end badly. You have to reach her emotionally and NC is the best way to do so.
If she doesnt come crawling back to you after NC then it wasn’t meant to be in the first place
Ok, I’ll try it, but it’s gonna be hard because of the texts we always send and because of the church where we usually go together. Hate the fact she has her new partner who can emotionally fill her when she’ll miss me. Damn!
Don’t you know how long should NC take in my case? I can’t even imagine a month without texting, it’s been a month till now and it seems like an eternity!@damonator
Now she’s just told me she is sure she wants to be with him and the thing with us just shouldn’t never happened. Wtf…Well that even further the cause of NC. Im sorry man but there is not much else you can do. Try and better yourself, try dating other women. If it is meant to be she will come back after the NC. In this case I’d say about 30 days of no contact. In that time try to learn to be able to live without her. Have Fun! And from experience, you may want to unfreind her on all social media. The urge to “check in on them” ends up just hurting you more and prolonging the process. If worst comes to worse you will at least have learned a good lesson.
If she tries to contact you during this period dont reply. Even if she says she wants you back. If she really wants you back she will wait at least a month or 2 before moving on. So at the end of the 30 days, it’ll be easy
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