December 2, 2020 at 2:18 am #115650lanaprieParticipant
- Total Posts: 1
After completing NC for 30 days, my ex reached out. We have been talking daily but one day he stopped reaching out, so i reached out first, turns out he was upset about something as i suspected. That is why i didn’t mind reaching out first. I apologized since it was my fault and we have been talking daily since. But last week he just stopped talking to me and it has been 4days. We had a decent chat before he stopped the following day (no arguments), he was telling me that he was happy when hes around me. He finally reached out and suddenly now he is unsure if he wants to work on getting back together because he feels that he needs to put in all the effort and i am just sitting there doing nothing waiting for him to make the effort. He got this from me not reaching out to him at all in these 4days. He said during this 4 days he had a lot of thoughts that he partially wants to be together with me again and partially not. He says that the things that he did that i was not happy with its like i am blaming him when i mention it many times, i explain that i was just sharing what i was not happy with and since we wanted to work on thing, i want to have a more open communication and i am not blaming him.
I don’t know if it’s just me but i feel like he is using it as an excuse to not work harder to earn my trust. I told him before that he abandon me twice when things get tough, am i suppose to try again and wait for him to abandon me a third time? he said that he will do what it takes to earn my trust again since this is our second breakup.
But now hes being emotional telling me things like i think im perfect and always blaming him for things and its two person fault etc. I apologized and said that i didnt mean to make him feel like that, i was merely just trying to share my feelings.
It seems like an impossible thing to try and workout this relationship. I do want to but i am so tired and afraid that it will be all for nothing again. He says he will take a few days to think if he still wants to work on us. I told him that he can reach out once he made up his mind and decide what he is willing to do but i wont be reaching out (and its not an effort thing) and i explain why i didn’t reachout within the 4days.
He is the confused child, why should i be dragged into his headache. I guess NC after a real NC is not such a good idea.
It’s been a week already. Should I just wait for him to come back to me with a decision then react to his decision? I know i said to him that i won’t reach out first and I don’t know if it’s a good idea to reach out first and say that we have been together a long time and i do not wish to end things still with us being mad at each other and also tell him i am done explaining myself but i just want to move on peacefully since attempts to get back together is not working.December 2, 2020 at 4:13 am #115674patricia12Participant
- Total Posts: 2833
@lanaprie Maybe he is immature. If 2 people want to reconcile, they calmly discuss what went wrong and talk about what they’re both willing to do to fix the relationship. Unless both are willing to do this, it’s not going to work!
Do NOT break your word about no contact! Continue no contact and maybe he will start missing you and be more willing to work on the situation. If not, move on..
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