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Some of you may know my story: I broke up with my bf of 4 years. I want him back but tells me he doesnt knoe and needs time to think.
7 days ago i started NC because i was starting to act crazy and wasnt in control of myself.
Since he is the one that has to do all the thinking and basically the tables have turned… Will the fact that im doing NC even work? Because he is the one who wants NC. I kept stalking him begging pleading etc…. So now that we are basically both doing NC is this going to turn in to who had the longest breath?
deedee, DO NOT CONTACT HIM.
remember that its him who says he needs time. SO GIVE IT TO HIM. He has your phone number. he knows where you live. If he wants you in his life, he will make an effort.
and even if you dont speak to him ever again…(which wont happen, but if it does) i think you need to take this as a sign that someone better is out there for you. obviously none of us want to hear that but maybe its the hard truth. And when you met this person, youll understand why it never worked out with anyone else. everything will make sense and you’ll cry with joy that everything worked out the way it did.
Thanks travelbug and nevergiveup you are so right about all of this. I begged, cryed my eyes out in front of him, texted 1001 times, emailed him and even wrote him a letter. So he DEFINITLY knows i want him back. And you are right if he wants me in his life hebcan make it happen since he knows that i want him back. And its not the thought of not ever finding anyone else again because i dont believe that. But its the thought of him not want to try again when i know that we can make it work. But he is the one that has to make the decision. And the last time he was talking about what was going on inside his head… He told me that he only has negative thoughts when he thinks of me and he wants them to go away so he can make a honest choice. And i cant stop thinking about those negative thoughts will be all that he has and he will eventually make hus choice based on those negative memories. He is the type to make decisions based on the negative instead of the positive.
(I have always been the one looking at the positive and was daring to take risks in any part of our lives and they always turned out good ;).He is just the type of person that thinks of the worst case scenarios…. sighhhhh…. This is sooooo energy sucking.But i do have to say that im feeling much better by doing NC. This is day 7 and im doing better than i thought i would. Seeing him today when he picked up the kids didnt make me feel sad or hurt or anxious… I just wanted to close the door as quick as possible so i could continu NC (0.0 contact).
For me… it was me who couldnt commit to the future and unsure about the relationship. My ex broke up with me and i can honestly say that i cant see myself with anyone else. I would fly to another state and live with her, i would move in together, i would love to have kids with her and experience life together. I couldnt give her that before which is why we broke up.
She knows that i feel this way now and she says the spark and chemistry is gone. 99% sure she is seeing someone else now. but isnt it ironic that when im ready to start a life with her, what she always wanted!, only to learn now that she doesnt feel the spark anymore. and ill never get to show her that ive changed.
This is the hardest thing ive ever had to go through in my life.
Hey nevergiveup…. That must be very hard! And that is what im afraid of… That he doesnt want to try anymore and that i/we cant give us a 2nd chance. But even if i want this so badly i do believe that if things dont work out for me/you than this must have been just exactly the way thing are supposed to be and that this means you will be ready and more mature in a next relationship and you will be tje best version of you!! I really believe this. Even thou im hurt right now and he is the only one on my mind right now…. i love LOVE way to much to believe that he is the only guy in the world. He wont make me give up on love… Thats one thing i know. And you will be fine! You have worked on yourself and you are continuing doing so…. So tje next will be one lucky women!!
Continue NC deedee,The most important part of NC is about you not your ex.As long as you are not being needy/chasing him,contacting him etc,it works.
Today is day 8 of NC and i was feeling al kinds of emotions today. I dont know if this was supposed to happen or if im supposed to feel these emotions but…… I was angry for 5 min then i was sad and crying for 2 min and then nothing………It was over but the anger stayed for a while. Angry at myself for making a fool out of myself and realising that i have crossed my own lines in acting crazy…. And even being angry at him for making me act this way (does this even make any sence?)…. It all took like 30 mins and then everything was over and i went back to focus on my job application.
I dont know what that was all about but it felt kind of good when i was done having this emotional thing.How is everybody else feeling during NC. Am i the only one who feels like i have 10 different people inside my body with each of them showing their emotions and im the one that is supposed to handle all of them. I dont want to sound crazy but i really feel like this right now 😉 hahahahah
You are not the only one. And thanks for sharing. I left my friends in the other room to cry. I feel angry at myself for not standing up for myself, for not seeing the truth, for not being strong enough, for giving too much…and not getting back enough in return..
Im feeling those things too. Im starting to remember why i broke up with him. What i was feeling all of those months and what eventually caused the break up. I dont know why i all of a sudden panicked. I guess because he was doing NC and i was wondering what was going on with him. And i just forgot all that happend and freaked out.
But now that im doing NC and getting my sanity back…. Im starting to ask myself if i truely want him back. Because i didnt like the person he was the last couple of years and thats why i broke up with him. Do i want that person back?! I dont think so…..
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