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My ex and I had been dating for almost 2 years when we broke up. I haven’t seen her in 2 months because she’s been traveling. It’s been 2 weeks since she’s been home and I have tried to make plans with her to see her but she hasn’t accepted my requests. When she got home she told me she didn’t see us having a future together. This might be the answer right there but maybe I’m being overly optimistic. I still hope there’s a chance of getting back together.
I’m horrible at NC. when I originally had that phone conversation I practically begged to stay in her life. I told her I would be friends with her and eventually I wanted to be a couple again. I was so desperate to keep her in my life. I still am. I realized that I can never be just friends with her. That’s not what I want. I don’t want her thinking of me as just a friend either. That’s like a slap in the face to our relationship. And if she starts seeing me as a friend, she’s not going to want to get back together and she’s prob going to meet someone else in the meantime.
I’ve been extremely hurt by our breakup. Crying, thinking I just lost the best girl I’ll ever get. And I’ve been trying to come to terms with all of this. She’s called me a couple times this last week… Telling me that her dog is sick and seeing is anything exciting is coming up for me… I think she called me because she needed emotional support and knew I would make her feel better. And yesterday I called her and we spoke for 30 minutes just about things you would talk about with a friend. It’s so hard because I love being there for her, I love hearing her voice and the thought of losing that hurts so much.
I think I need to tell her that I can’t be just friends with her, I can’t talk to her unless I’m actually with her. It’s tough because I don’t think she wants to be together anymore and I know that means I may never speak to her again which would be devastating.
What should I do?
I don’t have a lot of hope that we will get back together. And I’m scared to lose her altogether. NC feels horrible.I’m in the same boat man, me and my girlfriend were together for 1,5 years and she broke up with me like 1,5 weeks ago. The thing is, we had been good friends for like six years before we started dating, so we’ve always had a good connection, have always talked about everything, always been there for one another. That’s what makes this so hard on me, like, I still love her, always will, I’ll never stop caring about her and wanting to be there for her, but I just really can’t right now. I mean I can’t be there as just a friend and I’ve told her this, I’ve told her that in some way I want to be there for her, because I know she is having a difficult time at work etc, but I’ve also told her that I can’t do the friendly casual “Hi, how are you, how’s your day been?”-conversations. Just as she wants to be there for me right now, but doesn’t see us working in a relationship (for the time being or forever, who knows).
I really think the NC is a great idea, but it does feel horrible like you say and it’s very hard to do unless you find some things to do to keep your mind off of all what’s going on. I’ve only managed to do it for four days before I broke the NC now, but let me give you a good piece of advice, NC may feel horrible, but the dissapointment about the answers she might give when you do talk hurts even more. Like…waaaaaaaaaay more. Not talking or her saying you’re not getting back together, well, I’ll take my chances with the no talking.
One side of me knows my relationship is probably done for good, the other side of me does NOT want to accept this. Then again we only broke up a week ago, I can’t expect miracles of myself I guess, would be weird if I was already OK with it.
The idea of just letting it go or giving up seems wrong. I get the idea of NC but at the end of the day it makes me feel like you’re using mind games to get her back. Which may ultimately backfire on you if she thinks “oh, he’s ignoring me?? Fine- ill just get over him like I originally intended or go date another guy”. I have friends that tell me to go NC cause it will drive her crazy but I dont know.
We originally broke up with me because of small fights and my inability to see a future with her. Obviously I do want a future with her and would do anything it win her back. Again, I already told her I want a future with her but she wasn’t having it.
I just feel like going out swinging is better than ignoring her for a month only to find out she’s gone and dating someone else. If I try my hardest to get her back… Maybe she”ll see that I mean it.
Thoughts??
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